All comics by pinkyswear

 

by pinkyswear
8-10-09
Right here, right now. The decision is yours, mate.
I can't make up my mind. Let's just do half pepperoni, half cheese.

 

by pinkyswear
8-10-09
WHEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

by pinkyswear
8-10-09
Ben. Hey.
Chen!
The velvet feels good on my fingertips, ok?

 

by pinkyswear
8-10-09

 

by pinkyswear
8-10-09
See? I told you my finger was longer.

 

by pinkyswear
8-10-09
Come on, faster, man.
Wow, he's really laying it on thick.
Forget the oven! Use the microwave!

 

by pinkyswear
8-10-09
What are you waiting for? Go inside and check!
Well?
There's already someone in it.

 

by pinkyswear
8-10-09
Grandma! He's back!
Hold on. I'll go get her.

 

by pinkyswear
8-11-09
Forget it. I am not going to spend my whole afternoon watching you try to grow a beard.
Wait! I think my chin feels a little bit hairier!

 

by pinkyswear
8-14-09
Dear Lord, what happened in there!?
Oh, this is nothing. You should have seen the other guy.

 

by pinkyswear
8-16-09
Death...how can you stand taking the lives of so many innocent people?
Simple. I'm a solipsist.
Which means?
I believe that my mind is the only one to exist and others are mere fragments of my imagination.
Thank you for thinking me up.
Yes, well, I do believe in a good joke.

 

by pinkyswear
8-19-09
A personal family friend, Chen. I am horribly ashamed of you!
What could possibly have put into your mind that you could get away with a crime like this?
I'm sorry, Officer!
I'll let you off with a warning this time, but if you are ever late delivering my Chinese take-out again...

 

by pinkyswear
8-19-09
Welcome to Peter's Books. How may I be of assistance?
You can start by helping me find Waldo.
But, sir--
Do I need to repeat that?
This wasn't in the job description.

 

by pinkyswear
8-03-10
What the heck are you doing?
I'm arresting you!
So?
I'm gonna shoot you then!
Just kill me.
Ok.

 

by pinkyswear
3-26-11
Oh, my God. It's Justin Bieber!
Ugh. What is she? Like 5? I have got to get myself an older audience.
You look like a girl, your songs suck, and puberty's going to hit you like a brick. I hope you die.

 

by pinkyswear
3-27-11
I hate Jessica. She's so stupid and ugly.
I know, right? She thinks she's so cool. Nobody likes her.
Let's flush her things down the toilet and send her boyfriend anonymous text messages about her cheating on him.
Then let's spread nasty rumors about her and that freak Joey.
We can draw unattractive pictures of them together in the bathroom stalls.
Yeah, she's going to flip. She'll be like "OH MY GOD." It'll be so funny.

 

by pinkyswear
2-08-13
I reaaally hope I'm just super baked.
hey lil mama lemme whisper in yo ear
Doug, what did I tell you about taping over the peace negotiations.
I let you send the dolphin.

 

by pinkyswear
12-26-13
Excuse me, sir. You're under arrest for causing a public disturbance.
Sitting in a trashcan is considered a public disturbance now?
No, but running through a nursing home naked and screaming that the apocalypse is coming, and then hiding in a trashcan is.
Damn.

 

by pinkyswear
12-06-16
Hey Paul. Guess what? I just proposed to my girlfriend and she said yes.
Wow, congratulations!
Yeah, I know. She was my first choice. Otherwise I would have had to propose to your wife.
?...
She's my second choice.
Michael, I am going to fire you.

 

by pinkyswear
12-06-16
Hey, babe. I just got fired.
Oh yeah... Sorry, Michael. I forgot to tell you. I'm with Jonathan now.
What? Jonathan? You like HIM? How could you do this?
Yeah. It was an easy choice. He has abs and reads books to children on the weekends.
But I don't understand. You said yes to me.
And then I said yes to Jonathan.

 

by pinkyswear
12-06-16
Judith, will you marry me?
Um, I'm happily married. Didn't my husband just fire you?
Oh yeah, I've also been meaning to ask for my job back.
Paul!!! The creepy man from your work is here.
Wow.
Sorry.

 

by pinkyswear
12-06-16
Well, Edwina, everyone else is already in a relationship. You're the only one who loves me. Will you marry me?
A mauling ensues...
I wish Jonathan wasn't allergic to cats. Maybe he would feed me more than once a week.
HEY THIS IS A STABLE MATCHING!!!!!!! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!!!!

 

by pinkyswear
1-02-25
I'll take a McChicken please.
OK, one sec.
Here you go ma'am. I'm so glad you didn't ask for the McRib.

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