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| Dad, which one of us is your favorite? | |
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| Oh, P'shaw, don't be so silly my little shitling. | |
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| I, in my heart-of-daddy-hearts, hold an equal amount of deeply held resentment at all of my offspring's nauseating insistence to continue existing. | |
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| Dad, why do you have video tapes hidden under your bed of people that look like naked ladies except that they have giant, malformed penises? | |
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| They remind me of your dead mother, okay? Now be a good boy and let daddy shoot up in peace. | |
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