All comics by BigBagMan

 

by BigBagMan
5-28-01
Hey, did you see that new ass raping sim? It's got perfect controls! Lifelike graphics, and the gameplay is oh-so addicting! I just can't believe you can find such a beautiful ass rape sim on the PS2.
Yah, but all you do is the same thing for two hours.
Will Kojima ever cease to amaze us with his realism. It's all about the atmosphere, my man. And nothing says "ass raping" quite like this game. You should import it. I'm telling you. Kojima IS God!
But ... it's a sim. About ass raping.
But it's from Kojima! And looks at the detail of that crac! I mean, it doesn't get sweeter then that. Controls are spot on, too! You handle it just like you would in real life. And that soundtrack!
What the hell you still doing here?

 

by BigBagMan
5-28-01
Sega is the BEST!
No wait, Sony is the BEST!
Man, this trash can is the BEST!

 

by BigBagMan
5-28-01
PlayStation 2 is ttthe best console ever *bloop*
Look at all it's great games anddddd quality products. *bleep*
Sony, working behind the scenes
Ok, now tell them how much Xbox SUCKS because it's from Microsoft!!
M$ is such a crappy company. Why w-ould you buy their pro-ducts? *buzz*

 

by BigBagMan
5-28-01
Yes! I finally have my PlayStation! Now, let's open Final Fantasy IX... hey, there's a nail and hammer in here...
We here at Square USA have implimented nails and hammers in each copy of FFIX. Simply insert the nail in your head, and become a mindless Square whore... er, I mean enhance your game experience!
Wow! This game is so cool. In fact, ALL Square games are cool. Look! They're re-releaseing games everyone already owns onto the PS2 with few enhancements! Sign me up!
Don't forget they'll have better graphics! Yes. BETTER graphics! Amazing!

 

by BigBagMan
5-28-01
Hey! I found Vettrap's diary. Let's have a read...
You really shouldn't.
28 May 2001 -- Oh, how long can I put this charade on for? How long can I hold back my love for Bill? He's so sweet, and his products are oh so amazing. I want his large, sleek Xbox so badly But alas!
A secret love for Bill Gates, eh? Now it makes sense
How did you know what it said? I didn't read it aloud!
Err... look over there!

 

by BigBagMan
5-28-01
Yes, I, the amazing Jason Rubin has once again broke the gaming barriers! Jak and Dexter is the new wave of graphic prowess!
It certainly is colorful.
Yes, Naughty Dog is once again the KING of consoles. The true PS2 power has finally been revealed. Not through Polyphony, or Kojima, but the mighty ND!
Looks fab man, but what's the deal with that dude with funny hair?.
Yes, you all can bow down to me now.
And why is there a turd on his shoulder?

 

by BigBagMan
5-28-01
What? You don't like Soul Calibur?? Delete topic! Ha! You think the Dudley Boyz aren't cool? Jesus hates you!
Delete reply! Edit reply! Jesus loves me! SGM rules! Hahahaha!
Honey, time for milk and cookies!
Score!

 

by BigBagMan
5-28-01
We here at Sega always love to meet new fans. And Cool8Man, I hear you are one of our biggest supporters!
So... umm... WHat's the deal with the name "Cool8Man"? It sounds like a cheesy attempt to spell "Kool-Aid Man". But you are not round or red. You trying to be "l33t" or something?
Hey, are you almost done down there?
Oh yeah!

 

by BigBagMan
5-28-01
I've finally done it Marty! We're all the way into the year 2055!
Wow, that's great Doc. Hey, I'm gonna try and find my mom.
It's fascinating. The flux capacitor is working again! I wonder what the world is like. I should turn on the news.
"Our top headline today... it appears the Vanilla Ice clones have escaped their cages and are trying to perform concerts in front of terrified people. Please, we are all advised to stay inside!"
Great Scott!
Woah... this is pretty heavy.

 

by BigBagMan
5-28-01
Username: Sakiya ... Password: *******
I can't believe you. Wanting to have sex with a woman... what is this uncivilized world coming to? Sometimes I just wish humanity would be wiped out forever!
Username: Danny ... Password: *******
The the fark up, mate! You're such a bloody bloke! Geez, why don't you get a life you little wanker! Damn, what's wrong with you?

 

by BigBagMan
5-28-01
Man, Xenogears sure did SUCK. The battle system was awful, the plot was pathetic, and that was the cheesiest music score ever!
Pressure rising... can't take much more...
Man, I sure hope that series DIES. What a pathetic game.
*BOOM*
Told you it could be done.
Look at him go! Hey, get my marshmallows.

 

by BigBagMan
5-29-01
So...
So...
So you're the son of God?
Yep

 

by BigBagMan
5-29-01
Stop looking at me.
I'm warning you.
*URP*

 

by BigBagMan
5-29-01
Matt C. makes a speech
We here at IGN have been providing a free service for you for many years. So now, it's time for you to give something back to us.
No, I don't mean mindless banter on our MBs, but rather a simple $30 check for IGN Insider. You'll get a bunch of cool info that will no doubt be copied and plastered across the net within minutes.
And, sign up within the next ten days, and you get to see the personal fly-cam of Fran shaving his ass!
How can you go wrong?!

 

by BigBagMan
5-29-01
IGN Insider Roundtables
GameCube is king, fool. How can you doubt the awesome power of Nintendo?
In your dreams, fanboy. Ps2 has got the goods, foo. Maybe if your head wasn't a horse's ass..
Round One: Matt vs. Doug
Yeah, well you can suck my anti-aliasing, system jumper! At least people will buy GameCubes to play games.
Yeah, games made for kindergardeners. When are you gonna grow up Matt? PS2 is the system of choice for anyone with the mindset of a person over age 7!
Things get heated
Fran, get my switch blade.
You want a piece of me, ass boy?

 

by BigBagMan
5-29-01
IGN Roundtable 2: E3 2001
Boy, the GameCube sure did suck at E3. I've seen systems suck before, but that was the suckiest suck suck to ever suck.
Yeah, well maybe the Xbox would have done better if the system itself didn't take up half of Microsoft's booth.
Round One: Brandon vs. Matt
At least it's not PURPLE! And it doesn't look like a lunchbox! Hahaha! Purple! Lunch box! I think I'll write an article about this for IGNXbox.
At least the games didn't CRASH!
Matt goes below the belt
Ouch, man.
CHECK and MATE.

 

by BigBagMan
5-29-01
Have you seen my PS2? It rules! I have over 50 games! Not only that, I own 17 other systems, Japanese and American!
Wow dude, how do you afford all that stuff?
I work at McDonalds.
... Oh
Help! Someone robbed us and set our house on fire!
Yep. Good ol' McDonalds...

 

by BigBagMan
6-01-01
Let's go into internet Explorer... What has Bert been up to lately...?
*click click*
Dwarf porn?? What in the hell?!
What are you looking at?
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!

 

by BigBagMan
6-04-01
Yeah, so I was like, whatever girlfriend, don't even take it there. I was pointing my finger at her and stuff.
Hi. My name's Nick. I work at SGM, everyone's favorite site. I never post, but dammit, people like me.
And then she ws all like "as if!". I said I'd slap her silly if she didn't stop it, but she told me to talk to the hand!
Hey! Buddy! Over here! Yoo hoo!
This comic sucks.
Yeah, let's go get some ice cream floats.

 

by BigBagMan
6-05-01
Baked Goods ponders
Why am I represented by a little Asian girl?
I'm afraid people will get the wrong idea about ... my appearence... and sexuality.
Solid Snake Enters
...
Hey baby... how YOU doin'?

 

by BigBagMan
6-05-01
The introduction
Hi. My name is Baked Goods.
And I'm Bert.
The explanation
This is our persona on the internet.
Even though most would think of me as a skinny yellow guy with black, point-up hair.
Run for your life.
But not here.
Nope. We're Asian chicks here.

 

by BigBagMan
6-14-01
Hi everyone! I'm a girl who like anime and is looking for a good gaming board!
OMG! Look! A GIRL! Let's pretend like we have sex with her!
Teehee! Oh these boys are so silly
LOL! That's not what you were saying last night! *smilie*
Hey here's an idea, how about you go outside and meet REAL women.
Look! She has the word 'cum' in her sig!

 

by BigBagMan
6-14-01
Wow, am I bored.
I really wish I had a Game Boy Advance on me right about now...
Hey baby... how YOU doin, sweet cheeks? Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can realyl see myself in your pants!
Me and my big mouth..

 

by BigBagMan
10-14-01
Microsoft chats with Sega
So here's what I propose: You give me Shenmue 2, I give you these here magic beans.
What's so special about magical beans?
They're magical.
Will they piss off Dreamcast owners??
That's they're BEST feature
SOLD!

 

by BigBagMan
1-01-02
The saga begins
Wow, this is one hell of a movie!
The saga continues
The scenery, the storyline, it's so amazing!
... and continues
Dude, you know that's a GAME, right?
Really? Yeah, I thought it was odd they were asking me if I'd like to save...

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