All comics by BlackhawkTC

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by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
FD meets Wraith in
You're scaring me.
hi
Moving on, he meets someone who looks strangely like Bridget Fonda.
Hi Dave.
'sup?
This one speaks for itself.
w00t?
Hi, Mabus. Where's Josh?

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
What the hell are you supposed to be, Dev?
I BE L33TMASTAR J0 HA HA LLAMA!
Oh, really. Well, just being able to speak l33t doesn't make you a l33tmastar.
Really? What does?
Being able to cause people to spontaneously combust with only the power of j00r mind, f00.
AHH! HOT WATER BURN BABY!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
Dev playing Counter-Strike versus FD and Action Half-Life
ARRRR I KILL YOU NOW!
Eat shit and die
Tank, I need an exit!
is that it?
5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
TAP interrupts FD's period of mourning.
Douglas Adams has died. The world must now end.
Douglas Adams SUCKED!
You speak blasphemy. You must now pay the ultimate price.
What can you do to me, stupid?
TAP's secret crush on Bubbles is revealed.
Ha. I know you like the Powerpuff Girls.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
TAP imitates his idol, George Bush
*sigh*
I was beaten up by a delinquedent of insuperiorent mental capalibities.
Get a dictionary before you make a speech. People will think you're stupid.
I don't need a dictionary, you idiot!
This is all your fault, Toren!
*snicker*

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
Killing myself in protest of all the times I get beat up and insulted.
TAP, what the hell are you doing?
Here, let me help you.
Thanks

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
Hey, Tor.
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!!??
Christ, man! What crawled up your ass and died?
That's kind of personal, don't you think?
Yeah, probably. Hey, I know! Let's go make fun of Terrick!
Hell yeah!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
Finn, why are you always so down?
Read my T-shirt.
Shit, here it comes. See ya.
*air raid sirens*

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
We're all going to die.
uhm...yeah.
OH MY GOD! THERE'S TWO OF THEM! AAAAAHHHH!
THE END IS NIGH
Nice job, Tor.
Same, Eff. ....Why is he stuffing himself into a garbage can?

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
We're all going to die.
uhm...yeah.
OH MY GOD! THERE'S TWO OF THEM! AAAAAHHHH!
THE END IS NIGH
Nice job, Tor.
Same, Eff. I think his brain is going to explode.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
Hi. I'm TAP. Ow.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
Hi. I'm TAP.
I'm FD.
I'm Rukh, and that's my twin Toren.
Shut the fuck up and pass me the bong.
Get your fuckin' mitts off my muffins!
I'm Haloflux. That's Dave. Isn't he cute?

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
I'm, uh...Cathy! Yeah!
AND I M MEPTATINS THE ROBOT PIRATE
I'm Sloloem. I play Protoss.
I AM DEV! WASSSSSUUUPPPP FAGOT LLAMA!
Cleanup, Aisle 12, Wraith. Tom's been jerking off again.
FUCK!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
I'm, uh...Cathy! Yeah!
AND I M MEPTATINS THE ROBOT PIRATE
I'm Sloloem. I play Protoss.
I AM DEV! WASSSSSUUUPPPP FAGOT LLAMA!
Cleanup, Aisle 12, Wraith. Tom's been jerking off again.
FUCK!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
I'm, uh...Cathy! Yeah!
AND I M MEPTATINS THE ROBOT PIRATE
I'm Sloloem. I play Protoss.
I AM DEV! WASSSSSUUUPPPP FAGOT LLAMA!
Cleanup, Aisle 12, Wraith. Tom's been jerking off again.
FUCK!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
I'm, uh...Cathy! Yeah!
AND I M MEPTATINS THE ROBOT PIRATE
I'm Sloloem. I play Protoss.
I AM DEV! WASSSSSUUUPPPP FAGOT LLAMA!
Cleanup, Aisle 12, Wraith. Tom's been jerking off again.
FUCK!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
FD and Toren reflect on the death surrounding them.
Motherfuckers! They captured Rellan!
Hey, Eff? I think we should go kick some major ass.
Gunfire breaks out.
Bitches!
Eat shit and die!
The decapitation was a nice touch.
Yeah, I thought so.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
FD and Rukh are having an indepth Star Wars conversation when...
I feel a great disturbance in the Force.
Like millions of voices crying out in terror and being suddenly silenced?
No, more like TAP being thrown out of an airplane and screaming like a baby.
Again?
Yep.
I'll be right back with what's left of him.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
Hey, Halo! Whatcha been up to, girl?
Eff! Hiya! You won't believe what happened earlier! I was on this plane and...
...Just a second, Eff. That's him walking towards us. I need to go kill him some more.
But that's TAP and...Halo, wait!
Holy hot damn! That looks like it hurts!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
Hey, Eff. Want some of this joint?
No, thanks.
Hey, Eff. Want some of this joint?
No, thanks.
Hey, Eff. Want some of this joint?
No, thanks.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
Hey, Eff. Want a hit off this joint?
Pass.
Come on, dude! If you do we can go kill shit and claim temporary insanity as a defense!
TEMPORARY insanity?
Point taken. I'm gonna go see if Rukh wants some.
Have fun. I'm gonna sit here by this window and snipe newbies.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
What the fuck was that?
Probably two of those newbies I've been sniping going at it.
Ow, ow, OW!
Should I ask?
How the hell does he do this to himself?
He doesn't. I set him up for it.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
Hi. I'm Finn Delaney, and this is my friend Toren.
Hiya.
We torment the people who come here, to Bot Test Lab.
And we drink beer and smoke joints.
Today we'll study the effects of all the reverse-tracked tapes I replaced TAP's MP3s and CDs with on his brain.
Hiya.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
Hi. I'm FD, and this is my sidekick Toren.
YOUR sidekick?
Shut up. Anyway, today we'll study the effects of reverse-tracked tapes on TAP's brain. I've replaced all of his MP3 files with reverse-tracked Beatles music.
You're fuckin' evil.
I AM A NEWT! SPORK!
Good lord, it's worse than I'd imagined.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
Hi, Terrick.
why arnt u working u faggot! get to work before i puls out teh whips!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
Welcome to the Silver Keep. I'm Michaelj.
I'm Alegna, the dwarfy chieftess lady. Welcome to the Silver Keep.
FD should be right over here...FD? Where the heck did he go? He was right here!
Cherie tells you 'Prank phone calls are NOT Silvery behavior!'
Hello, PapaGino's Pizza Palace. May I take your order?

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-12-01
Welcome to Episode Three of The Delaney Files. We're now going to tell you what's happened in all our crossovers with TAP and Injury.
We've nearly killed TAP several times in this very setting (indirectly, of course)
We've attempted to stop TAP's murder once (not in this setting.)
We've lit up 850 joints and finished 60 twelve-packs of beer in Toren's corner.
Thank you for tuning in. Read next time to hear Toren say...
Dammit, TAP! If you threw out my marijuana stock again I'm going to pound that nail all the way into your forehead!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
FD and Haloflux have an indepth conversation immediately following 'Atlas and Injury 24'.
I just punched TAP so hard that he flew out through a wall. He's on his way to the hospital.
What'd he do now?
He tried to make me go time traveling with him.
Why is that so bad?
I didn't ask. Do you usually give him time to explain himself before you hit him?
Well, now that you mention it...

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
War.
Famine.
Pestilence.
Twinkies.
I'm gonna hit you until candy comes out!
Death.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
Dude, I'm the biggest geek in here.
Rell, I'm a bigger Star Wars/ Trek nerd than you'll ever be.
Fuck you, Slol. I collect stupid shit from all the-
Has anyone seen my phaser, rank pips and combadge? I need to contact the Defiant for immediate emergency beam-out. Oh, there they are.
Okay, Eff. You win.
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
HELO FD HOWS R U TODAY!!?!!!!!!!!
Must...not...speak...newbie...
HOWS R U TODAY! ANSAR ME!
GAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I M FINE HOWS R U??
She got you too, huh?

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
This is reporter Toren coming to you from the front lines in the battle with the Newbies. I'm here with General Cathy, a member of the Dominion Resistance.
Hiya! Can someone tell me what's going on?
INCOMING!
SHIT!
Did I miss something?

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
Hi, Empy.
Pants.
Hi, Empy.
Pants.
Pants.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
So anyway, I blah blah blah, blah blah blah...
Hey, Zora.
blah blah blah, blah blah blah...
Zora.
and then I blah blah blah....
FUCKING TALK TO ME BEFORE I RIP OUT YOUR BEATING HEART AND THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
What the hell are you supposed to be?
Well, originally I was going to be Darth Maul. Then I found out I didn't have any red paint.
Uh, yeah. Anyway, I...
Then I found out I didn't have a black robe or lightsaber. So I put on this brown shirt.
...Right. You keep it up, Eff. I'll be over here beating the shit out of TAP if you need me.
After that, I decided I'd...Hey, I wanna help!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
Anyway, TAPlas, I feel really bad about nearly killing you earlier. Can you forgive me?
Brainstem...meltdown...can't...think...shutdown imminent...
TAP? Can you hear me? Answer me, dammit!
 .......
You knew this would happen, didn't you?
Who, me?

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
How are you today, Mr. Toren?
Fine, thanks. Listen, I...
I'm sensing a lot of latent aggression in you, Mr. Toren. I think that if we can get you to language some of this, you'll be a lot better off.
Look, you fucker! I'm trying to tell you, I don't need to be told I'm cra-
This hostility is really unnecessary, Mr. Toren! I'm just trying to YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
Trying to YAAAAHHHH? That sounds painful!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
Where is our flag?
Our flag is secure!
Excuse me, sir, might I borrow your flag for a second?
Oh, HELL YES.
*rimshot*
AAAAIIIEEEEEE!
Somebody set up him the bomb.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
Hello.
It's you again. I thought I swore out a restraining order against you?
It ended yesterday.
Shit.
Just kidding. It's me, Madeline.
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
Hi, exogen.
HELLO EFDE USUXXXORS!!!!!
You know, you really need to shut up.
HAHAH NEVAR WILL I SHUTSU P!!
Thanks, Tor.
I live for the decapitations.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
Hey, Tor.
I AM NOT 'TOR'! I AM THE MIGHTY CORNHOLIO!
Don't make me schedule you another meeting with the guys at Rita Valley.
I REQUIRE TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE! YOU WILL BRING ME TP! DO NOT THREATEN ME!
Hello, Rita Valley Psychiatric Institute? I have a patient for you. You'll be right up with a straitjacket? Thanks.
Fuck you, Eff.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
Look, Mabus, you stupid fucker, leave us alone.
No. Foo told me to leave it like this. You're never on so he can't tell you.
You're not listening to me, are you?
HIACORP.COM, MOTHERFUCKER!
Mabus, don't make me drag out the flame prop.
Uhhh....let's compromise.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
FD and Haloflux on Mirkwood.
Hi, Karma.
Hey Eff.
What's up?
I have 2500 exp to next level. How are you doing with levelling?
Halo realizes FD is now 11 levels above her.
I'm at Level 51 now.
I hate you sometimes, Eff.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
Dammit, I'm never going to get this thing clean.
Mabus, what the fuck are you doing?
Trying to clean the filth off the carpet.
Here, let me help you.
AAAAIEEEEEE!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-13-01
Eff, have you seen TAP? I haven't seen him in about ten minutes and I'm getting worried.
Yeah, I saw him beaming out with some little gray guys.
Little gray guys? You mean like aliens? Isn't that dangerous?
Think about that for a second, Flux.
What can they do to him that you, me, and Toren haven't already done?
Point taken.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-14-01
Hey Tor.
Hey Ef.
What's up?
What's up?
FUCK! It's happening again!
I swear to God, you're doing that on purpose.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-14-01
I cannot train him. He has no patience!
But I am ready! Ben! Tell him I'm ready!
Uh...
Let me rephrase this. You tell him I'm ready or I hit you so hard your head will come out in the Star Trek universe.
Uh, he's ready.
Dude, did you two even READ the fucking script I gave you?

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-14-01
It is a period of Civil War. Rebels, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Newbie Empire.
During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the L33T STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.
Pursued by the Empire's sinister newbies, Princess Haloflux races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy....
Fuck it, Zora-D2, this is all your fault.
Fuck you, Meps.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-14-01
Fuck! They shut down the main reactor! We're screwed!
Zora...
We're doomed!
Zora!
What?
SHUT THE FUCK UP!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-14-01
...Help me, Toren-Wan Cannabis, you're my only hope.
And so, I offer you a gift...these two droids.
Wrong movie, Halo.
Sorry.

Showing page 1.

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