All comics by CarbonadiumCoils

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-18-02
I want you.
Ew, faggot.
I want you.
I'm sorry, I'm not gay.
I...love...you.
Damn bitch, you stupid fine.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-18-02
My pimp told me that I was no good. I really just don't get it.
He told me that I didn't toss well anymore, and that he would shoot me. I never planned for it to be this way.
So you see, I really need some guidance.
Does it look like I'm NOT busy right now?

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-18-02
September, 1990...
Hey, I bet you never tasted semen before.
I bet I did.
The conversation continues...
Yeah? How much you got?
Three gallons.
...and a friendship is born.
Of semen?
Yeah, let's share. I'm Ryan, and your name is Joe, right?

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-18-02
Eeek.
Eeek.
What?
You've got a bug on your shoulder.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-18-02
What'cha doin'?
Paying for the sins of all mankind.
Why?
So that they may partake in the happiness of the kingdom of my Father and the fruits of paradise.
...what'cha doin'?
That's it, I'm leaving.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-18-02
Well little boy, who might you be?
I'm James.
...and you are?
I'm Ryan.
...and what's your name?
Stu.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-18-02
Laugh...
People say I look happy.
Clown!
...but I'm not...
LAUGH!
...so I'm going to kill myself.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-18-02
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-18-02
I'm a faggot.
Me too.
Hi, I'm Jason Lee, I'm a homosexual too.
I'll bet you don't know if I'm a feminine man or a really ugly woman.
Hot bagels 4 eva'!
HOT BAGELS?!

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-18-02
Wee wee
Moo, why the umbrella got the doody and the front door?
Why?
Because you got the glasses in the disk and the lamp.
Really?
NO! I EAT YOU! SUCKAAAAAAA!

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-18-02
What's this?
I wish to be your friend.
Really?
Yes, it is my wish.
I don't have arms to open it so just tell me.
...gloves.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-18-02
Hello.
Hi.
Hello.
Hi.
Hello.
Hi.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-18-02
So she fucked up my goddamned manicure.
That blows.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-18-02
The pitch...
Hey baby, let's fuck.
Okay.
The swing...
Oh yeah baby.
Mmm.
...and the miss(ter?)
What the hell is that?
That's my penis, now bend over BITCH!

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-18-02
Whoa.
Like coolsville, daddio.
Whoa.
Like coolsville, daddio.
Whoa.
Like coolsville, daddio.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-18-02
You hear the news?
No, what happened.
Your mother died.
Really?! OH MY GOD!
Just kidding.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-19-02
Wanna do drugs?
Ummm.
Come on, don't be a chicken.
I'm not a chicken! You're a turkey!
...
AAAAAAAHH!!!!

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-19-02
Hey Todd, I j ust got an A- in math.
Todd?
What?
Are you listening to me?
No, I was busy thinking of whether or not the hair on my ass was growing or not.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-19-02
I can't feel my arms.
Bummer.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-19-02
Good evening, Klaus. I'll bet you're wondering why you're here.
HO HO HO!
So I'll just explain everything to you. I want all the toys in the world and you're going to go out this Christmas and take toys rather than give them to the wretched brats of the world.
HO HO HO!
Are you even listening to what I'm saying.
HO HO HO!

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-19-02
Ho ho ho ho ho, ho ho.
Ho ho ho? Hooo! Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. HO HO HO!
I see.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-19-02
Hey Mr.
Why'd the dinosaurs go 'stinkt?
Because you touch yourself at night.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-19-02
So you're really going to give me new skin?
eee hee heee heee!
Good, because this whole no touching thing is really getting to me. I've got a wife and we're both in our sexual primes.
eee hee heee heee!
Stop smiling at me you dirty faggot.
eee hee heee heee!

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
10-19-02
Don't talk about Fight Club.
What do I do to join?
Hit me as hard as you can.
Can I kiss you instead?
Sure.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
11-05-02
I can't stand it. They always just fly away.
Don't let it get you down, you'll get some food soon.
Yeah, but have you actually ever tasted canary?
You're a goddamn pussy.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
11-05-02
Hi Craig.
Hi Carlos.
Where's Joe?
I dunno.
What do you know?
...nothing.

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
11-05-02
Rrrrrrrrrrring!!
Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!!!
Um...
Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!!!
Can someone get that for me?

 

What's that?
A letter.
Is it good or bad? What does it say?
..."R"

 

by CarbonadiumCoils
11-07-05
So this is my place. I'm sure you'll find the bed EXTRA comfortable.
Nice place. But um...uh...why would I care about your bed?
Well I invited you up for coffee. I knew that from the moment I met you I wanted you. I don't give myself up to just anyone. Only guys who are sensitive, caring, and in touch with emotions.
Wow, I'm flattered and I care about you very much.
So do you want to undress me or do you want me to strip?
Neither, I don't do fatties.

 

But he hit me! My car was damaged on the side!
Riiight.
How could I possibly even hit him with the side of my car?!
Sir, are you not Chinese?

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