All comics by Ceejay9

 

by Ceejay9
7-06-07
5...4...3..2...1....Calculating New turn!
WHAT! I lost my entire fleet? What kind of idiot is that Admiral I assigned?
The Turn before Onboard the Admiral's Ship..
Admiral Moo, The planet is in sight, they have a heavy defensive ring of turrets and strong shields. What are your orders?
Transport the Military off of the Planet and take them to Planet D-4 in the Duro System.

 

by Ceejay9
7-06-07
Ok, That should Do it. I love these Governor's, It makes things so much simpler! Time for bed.
Governor Moo, our people are starving, there isn't anyone Farming. What should we do?
Ok, convert all workers to Farmers. Then Convert all Farmers back to workers and build Light Turrets as long as the population is at least 1. If anyone complains, shoot them with the turret.

 

by Ceejay9
7-06-07
Onboard The Admiral's Cruiser..
Admiral Moo, Sir! We are prepared to Defend planet A-4. What are your orders?
How many other ships do we have in the system?
19 Frigates, 24 Destroyers, 30 Cruisers and 10 Battleships, Admiral Sir.
Very Well, These are my orders...
What the hell? I lost planet A-4, I have twenty two different two ship fleets at planet A-3 and all of my transports are manned with rank 4 Military!! Argh I hate Defense Admirals!

 

by Ceejay9
7-06-07
Admiral Moo, Sir, I regret to inform you that another of our systems has been overrun. We are down to 3 Systems!
This isn't good. What type of systems are they?
We have one Research system, a production system and a whiskey system.
A whiskey system? What the hell is that?
Sir, it's a new policy Erwin introduced. When you go inactive, your systems begin producing only whiskey. Keeps the military happy, but really pisses off the farmers. But population growth skyrockets
So that's why I keep getting reports about farmer's daughters. I was beginning to wonder.

 

by Ceejay9
7-06-07
Admiral Moo, Sir, our fleet is assembled and ready for attack.
Excellent, Captain. Set a course for System 2/0/2 immediately!
Sir, you do realise that our fleet speed is only 0.2?
I know! It was an ingenius move on my part to only install a single nuclear engine on each ship to pack in more weapons!
392 turns later...
Admiral Moo, I regret to inform you that the Galaxy has ended.
Blast! And only 84 more turns until our strike force would have been in scanner range! Ah, the weight of genius, it burdens me.

 

by Ceejay9
7-06-07
Sir, the men are complaining again.
What do they want now?
The same thing as last time sir, we need to stop at the nearest Planet.
Argh! If we keep stopping like this it will take us a hundred ticks to get to our destination.
Yes sir. Perhaps next time we shouldn't leave out installing Bathrooms on the ships in order to fit in an extra Proton Laser.
Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

 

by Ceejay9
7-08-07
Sir, my unit is prepared to assualt the planet with unstoppable force!
Excellent, Lieutenant. Send out your dropships immediately!
Alright Men! When we reach the surface we have special sealed orders. Prepare for anything!
Yes sir, lieutenant! We're ready!
Ok men, Destroy that Sod! Rip out those weeds and throw their bloody corpses on the Dungheap! Move it, Move it!
This isn't quite what I thought he meant by "special orders."

 

by Ceejay9
7-08-07
Finally, My fields are full grown, and I can pick them shortly. Man, that was a lot of work.
Calculating next turn....
Oh no! All my crops are gone! Hey, where did you come from?
I don't know. One minute I was watching Oprah on T.V. and the next I was here.
Sigh. Well we better get to planting those crops again.
Do we have a T.V. here? It was a pretty good episode.

 

by Ceejay9
7-08-07
Sir, my marines are ready to assault the planet!
Excellent, Lieutenant! You may begin your invasion. And I have special orders for your troops when you land!
Ok men, When we hit the planet, hit 'em hard and fast!
Yes sir, Lieutenant! We're ready!
Ok Men!, Destroy that Sod! Rip out the guts of those Weeds and throw them on the Dungheap! Move it, Move it, Move it!
This isn't quite what I had in mind when he said "Special Orders."

 

by Ceejay9
7-11-07
Admiral Moo, sir, we just got our research report in. It will be anorher 50 turns before the new technology is available.
They've been working on that for ages! What the heck are they doing down there?
Meanwhile at the Research Center..
Haha Bob! Now drink the blue potion!
Wait, wait. Watch this! Hurry, call the cat in here.

 

by Ceejay9
7-11-07
Alright, Music is soft, lights are low, adn the apartment is clean. I sure hope this blind date goes well!
knock knock
What the heck, you're not a girl!
Dude, Erwin hasn't implemented female population yet.
This is so gross. Why don't you just go.
Can I at least get dinner first? It's a long walk from the next farm you know.

 

by Ceejay9
7-27-07
Admiral Moo, sir. Our fleet of Battleships has finished it's bombing runs.
Excellent! So the planet is ours?
Not quite, sir. We've destroyed all of the citizens and buildings, but there is a small shuttle in orbit holding the planet. It seems we forgot to add any weapons other then bombs to our fleet.
No weapons?! Who's bright idea was that?
Uhm, yours admiral, sir.
Oh. Well tell Captain Carrot to ram his battleship into it then. I never liked him anyway.

 

by Ceejay9
7-27-07
And today our interview is with Admiral Moo, an admiral in the SpaceCiv Game. Good day Admiral. Can you give the readers any tips on the SpaceCiv Game?
Of course, Steve, I'd be happy too. First of all, fellow gamers, remember to always install bathrooms on your destroyers.
Won't that cause problems on your ships admiral? Those larger ones must take quite a lot of crew.
Yes, it can cause all sorts of problems, Steve. But I have an open-airlock policy. Give me problems, and I open the airlock.
Err..Let's move on to another subject. How has the transition of planets you conquer been going?
Oh, that's another easy one, Steve. I also have an open-bomber door policy.

 

by Ceejay9
7-27-07
And today our interview is with Admiral Moo, an admiral in the SpaceCiv Game. Good day Admiral. Can you give the readers any tips on the SpaceCiv Game?
Of course, Steve, I'd be happy too. First of all, fellow gamers, remember to never install bathrooms on your destroyers. It saves space for mroe weapons.
Won't that cause problems on your ships admiral? Those larger ones must take quite a lot of crew.
Yes, it can cause all sorts of problems, Steve. But I have an open-airlock policy. Give me problems, and I open the airlock.
Err..Let's move on to another subject. How has the transition of planets you conquer been going?
Oh, that's another easy one, Steve. I also have an open-bomber door policy.

 

by Ceejay9
8-01-07
Admiral Moo, sir, our bombers are ready for the final attack run.
Excellent, Lieutenant. Please remind them this time that only defensive installations are our targets.
Yes sir, Admiral!
You know they're going to bomb all the citizens again anyway don't you?
Sigh, yeah. I will never send another pilot to that stupid Bird's Eye Bombing School ever again.

 

by Ceejay9
8-01-07
Welcome to the Galactic Military Training Facility. Here, we will teach you farmers how to become tried and true soldiers!
Here at the GMTF, we will provide you with thousands of hours of training, so that when we are done, you will be THE BIGGEST BADEST SOLDIERS AROUND!
After three thousand hours of training and pure physical hell, you will be ready and fully trained to become Military in your Admiral's Fleet!
Great, I train for thousands of hours, and all my admiral does is right-click. That seems fair. Sigh.

 

by Ceejay9
8-28-07
Admiral Moo, Sir, we have arrived at the target planet and bombed their defenses and entire infrastructure into oblivion.
Excellent, Lieutenant, Send in the troopships Immediately!
Sir, uhm, we don't have any troopships. I've been going over the blueprints and we built pilot cabins instead of troopbays.
What?! Execute the fool who designed those ships!
That would be you sir.
Oh. Well..Belay that order then. Hrm, you think it's too late for a peace treaty?

 

by Ceejay9
8-28-07
Admiral Bozo, Our nefarious plans to destroy Admiral Moo's fleet is underway.
Excellent, Robo Sergeant. I take it things went smoothly?
Yes, Admiral, i was able to sneak into their main headquarters disguised as an ATM machine and replace the maps they have of our systems. Plus I got 2 ATM cards.
They will never find our planets now!
It's true sir, we bombed our own planet!
Damnit, that's the second time this week. Well, I can't use the "I thought i saw my mother-in-law" excuse this time. Just tell them it was a munitions delivery and then get us out of here.

 

by Ceejay9
7-23-08
Aboard Admiral Moo's Flagship...
Admiral Moo sir, All the preparations are complete and the Fleet is on it's attack course for the enemy's system.
Excellent! With only 49 Units to traverse he'll never have time to respond! Muhahaha!
The enemy will never know what hit him! The entire galaxy will bow in fear of our power!
7 Turns Later...
Admiral Sir, I regret to inform you that our entire fleet of 2 ships has been destroyed.
By the galaxy gods what does it take to defeat this enemy? Obviously more then simple firepower and Speed! Ok scratch the 1000 bombing speed 6 shuttles. Let's try 1500 bombing speed 6 corvettes.

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