All comics by Ciaran

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by Ciaran
7-09-03
A humourous reference thinks me.
It could have been your twin sister meuriel
?
NEGATOR!
Take me now Lord!
?
I LOSE!
!!!
It appears you have come to a fork in the road.

 

by Ciaran
7-11-03
Indecent exposure: Adam wins by default
Oh yeah!
Too much facial hair: Adam wins by default
Oh dear!
You Lose!!
Hello!
Though I shall walk through the valley of death...

 

by Ciaran
8-22-03
Adam makes a fair observation
Gregory, you smell of onions.
Non, c'est ne pas vrai.
Adam reinforces his observation
No, really, you smell of onions.
NON, Non! C'est ne pas vrai!!
The Frenchman loses patience with his bearded accuser
I'm sorry but you are French after all.
Casse toi!!

 

by Ciaran
8-22-03
Adam makes yet another splendid observation
What are those wasps like Nick, so small and yet they think they can attack us.
He then reinforces it with some criticism
You misely, good for nothing teeny weeny wasp.
Target zone: the neck
We will fight them on the beaches, we will...
Ahhhh, it stung me Nick!
Haha, victory is mine!

 

by Ciaran
8-26-03
Ohh, suit you sir!
Would you like to give it to me sir!
Don't be such a fag.

 

by Ciaran
8-27-03
Hello, my name is Owen and I have a fetish for cats
Hello, I am a killer squirrel and I like to kill small, white, furry things
HELLo, my name is Lucifer and I like to make people do really horid stuff like abuse cats and kill small, white, furry things

 

by Ciaran
8-28-03
Can I please?!
No.
Can I please?!!!
No!
Pretty pretty please?!!!!
Ok

 

by Ciaran
9-01-03
Please allow myself to introduce...
Myself.
Shit.

 

by Ciaran
9-01-03
To all the continent and the incontinent...
in this season of great joy and celebration...
I wish you a dry, comfortable and shit free Christmas.

 

by Ciaran
9-01-03
'Fuck you all'?
or 'To all you bastards'?
Good evening

 

by Ciaran
9-01-03
I bet your wondering why my hands are so far down my pockets.
You are aren't you?
Well, keep wondering.

 

by Ciaran
9-01-03
Once upon a time, there was a cow.
It was called Daphne.
Then I ate it.

 

by Ciaran
9-01-03
Once upon a time, there was a boy.
He was called Ryan.
Then he fell off his bike.

 

by Ciaran
9-01-03
Once upon a time, there was a boy.
He was called Adam N.
Then he fell down some steps and couldn't go to Slane.

 

by Ciaran
9-01-03
Once upon a time, there was a boy.
A small boy, called Adam.
Then a boy called Beano stuck a cigarette into his arm.

 

by Ciaran
9-01-03
I once knew a taxi driver called Pete.
At least I think that's what he was called.
At the weekends, he was known as Meuriel.

 

by Ciaran
9-01-03
I lost my keys once.
Then I found them.
But meanwhile, my car had been stolen.

 

by Ciaran
9-01-03
There once was a bunch of pestering first years.
Ahh, they thought they were so funny.
Then I killed them.

 

by Ciaran
9-03-03
Louise Akrylie
Louise Akrylie
Louise Akrylie

 

by Ciaran
9-03-03
She sayed
She sayed
She sayed

 

by Ciaran
9-03-03
Yeah.

 

by Ciaran
9-03-03
Go to Greece Ryan.
Yeah man?
Go to Greece Ryan.
Yeah man?
Yeah.
No.

 

by Ciaran
9-10-03
Why is everyone looking so morose today?
I don't know, maybe cause your here?
I feel so maligned.
Shit happens.
How about I go purchase us a sanctified, ubilescent cup of coffee?
How about you cut the superlaterious crap and go sup some milk?!

 

by Ciaran
9-10-03
Good evening sir, would you like a drink?
Yes, could I have a Ryan Walsh on the rocks please?
A fine choice if I may say so sir.

 

by Ciaran
9-10-03
Are there any samples of, of...
Of, of, of...
Urine?

 

by Ciaran
9-25-03
A waitress finds herself locked behind a disconcertingly closed door.
Excuse me, can you open the door!
Her frustration grows.
Pleeaase!
As does the smile of the person on the other side of the door.
No.

 

by Ciaran
9-27-03
Hey Walsh, watch me fly with your long coat as wings!
Stupid idiot. (although i'm hardly one to talk, I'm stoned)
Museli!

 

by Ciaran
9-29-03
David Blane outlines his next challenge.
I am going to eat 10,000 chick peas in ten minutes.
The reason why we all hate him so much.
Honestly, I am, I don't have any desire to live any more.
But why we have a deep, underlying sense of affection for the man.
Ah shit, fat and still alive.

 

by Ciaran
9-29-03
David Blaine stands 10,000,000 feet up in the air.
It's lonely up here but I have no desire to interact with anybody, especially not with a smile on my face.
Meanwhile, a rocket on its way to Mars is travelling at 10,000,000 feet.
The world can finally forget about the man.
No honestly, I'm still here! Watch me levitate!

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
Wooly Walsh spies beano's furry hat.
I want that furry hat!
Hey Ryan.
His fetish is becoming scarvy, I mean scary.
Polyester, polyester!
It's pretty cold out these days isn't it?
Ryan misses one detail...beano has been burnt, or as they say in America, killed.
Shit, I've burned the hat.

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
Hannah my child, are you sure you are old enough to drink from the fountain of lonliness?
Pretty sure, well, pretty anyway.
Oh, young one, do you have your forest of truth pass with you?
I'm sorry, oh master but I seem to have forgotten it.
My child, you have much to learn, we must move on to the next stage.

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
My child, watch how this earthly character holds his drink steady to disguise his drunkeness.
Hey, I'm Walsh.
No he's not.

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
My child, see how this 'lowly' individual, even in his unsurpressed drunkeness, manages to hold his bottle of beer relatively still.
Hey, I'm Andy Anderson.
Fuck off.

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
My child, we must prepare you to face the Barmaids of Mordor.
I'll do whatever it takes.
But first you must learn how to fight your way to the bar of darkness.
I have assembled some examples for you my child.
I am watching.

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
Get out of my way!
Ni.
But your smaller than me.
No, I'm not.
Yes you are!
Ok.

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
Get out of my way.
Axe nicely.
What did you say?!
I said, axe nicely.
Fuck off!

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
My child, have you understood the examples?
Yes Master.
And what did they tell you?
To be rude and use as many expletives as possible.
Oh young one, you are learning quickly.

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
It is time for you to face the barmaids of mordor.
I'm scared Master.
Oh little one, you must overcome your fears.
But it is hard to find the words.
My child, simply use the words of Aragorn, 'Budweiser'.
True.

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
Hello, can I have a budweiser please.
What?
I said, 'can I have a budweiser please.'
Oh, I thought you said, could I have some penny chews and a gobstopper please.
I hath been foiled.

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
Master, I hath been foiled.
You must not give up, you must use all means necessary to defeat the clean morality of this world.
Do you mean...
The pencil, yes, I do.
Whatever it takes.

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
I won't tell you again, go away!
You leave me with no other option.
SECURITY!!!
Haha, you hath been foiled.

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
Master, I have conquered and obtained a bottle of beer.
You have done well my child, but you still have far to go.
I am ready for whatever is ahead of me.
By the way, before we go on, can you get me a beer too.
Lazy bastard!

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
Master?
What is it my child?
I have spilt my beer, all over beano.
You idiot, we will have to dispose of him.
Leave it to me.

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
Hey Hannah.
Hello.
You spilt your beer all over me.
Ah, ye know, shit happens.
As Tommy Cooper would say, 'Just like that'.

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
The deed is done Master.
Excellant, but no more slip ups.
Don't worry.
Now go get another beer.
Lazy bastard!

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
YeeeEESS?
Master?
Erasmus?
I have spilt my beer again, all over the little one.
Ah, that creates a small problem.
No, Adam.

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
Hello, Hannah.
I don't know how to say this but, 'Your going to die soon'.
No I'm noootaaaHHHh!
Haha, you lose!

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
So, my child, you have split your beer over, and thus killed, everyone in the bar.
Apart from you of course Master.
Now, don't, no, NO NO AAHHH!!!
Maintenant, tout le monde sont mourent.

 

by Ciaran
10-11-03
Now that everyone is gone, so to speak, I can finally fulfil my desires.
Nightfever, nightfeever.
I may not be a competent beer drinker but at least I can still pop a pill.

 

by Ciaran
10-13-03
Ryan encouters Helen's coveted beast.
I spy a hairy creature.
Makes a valid, if not irrelevant, observation.
Its not beano's hat.
Then loses what sanity and credibility he had left.
But I will kiss it anyway.

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