All comics by DarkRen

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by DarkRen
9-18-02
The Rapture - Ground Zero
Aren't you just soooo proud of yourself right now.
Well, the plan did just sort of come together.
Well, you demonspawn haven't won yet.. *Blah Blah* ..still got reserves waiting to crush the lot of you.. *Blah Blah* You will fall before the righteous might of.. *Blah Blah*
Jeeze, does this guy ever shut up? Maybe this will..
Demon Casts Flame Pillar! - 9999 Damage Inflicted! - Demon Wins!
Yaaargh!
~Zomi dubi badaba Boom ya badaba~ *Heh heh*

 

by DarkRen
9-18-02
A few hours later.
Finally pulled yourself back together, eh god-boy?
Yeah. Maybe we got off on the wrong foot here.
A few hours later.
I think that's a given.
Ahem.. well, nonetheless I don't think you gather the situation here. According to the prophesies, we're going to win and you're going to lose.
A few hours later.
Yeah, but I can still waste you a few more times before that happens. So what's your point?
Uhmm.. wait, you stay right here and I'll go look for it..

 

by DarkRen
9-18-02
Wooooooooooo! I'm going to get you!
Who are you trying to fool? There's no such thing as ghosts.
Hey, you're not scared? Is there a stain on my sheet or something?
Naw, nothing like that. I'm just not scared of ghosts or people pretending to be ghosts.
But I am a ghost! Why no.. uh oh..
Wanna see my favorite axe? Up close.. very close..

 

by DarkRen
9-18-02
Meanwhile, back in reality.
This site is pretty neat. Free comic creation and everything. I wonder what else I can make with it.
He explores further..
A FAQ, that should be interesting. Lets see. *Reads* Lots of common stuff so far.
What's this.. uh oh.. I'd better take a look out the window.
*Note: Comics created on this site may alter reality*

 

by DarkRen
9-19-02
The Angel gets beat one too many times. By the Demon and finds himself in hot water.
Woah, where am I?
Take a guess. It ain't no Club Med.
But wait.. I thought only bad people went to Hell!
You're thinking mortals. You had your chance up there and blew it. Time to face the music, bub. Those are the rules.
This isn't fair! *Pause* So what's my trial anyway? Hey, why are you backing up..?

 

by DarkRen
9-19-02
Meanwhile, back on Earth..
*Chop* *Scream* *Maim* *Argh*
Hey! The Boss is coming, everyone look busy!
Oh, hey Boss. Fancy seeing you up here on Earth. What's up?
Just checking in on the war front. Things seem to be going surprisingly well considering we're fated to lose.
*Heh Heh* Well, we do our best, Dark Majesty. Umm.. a question, though. What's with the suit?
*Insert Funny Thing Here - To submit ending dialogue, email it to darkren @opendiary.com*

 

by DarkRen
9-20-02
Big Red and Steel-o-matic finally hook up for some hot robot lovin'.
This is it, Steel'o. We're finally going to 'do it'!
So right, Reddy. This is going to be sweet!
But wait, I have a question before we start.
What's that, Red baby?
Which one of us will be the woman?
...

 

by DarkRen
9-20-02
Indecision reigns.
This is pointless if we can't decide who will be the woman! That's half of the whole point!
Reddy sure is pissed. There has to be a way to decide.
But Steel-o-Matic has a brainstorm!
Maybe this whole idea was a mistake.
Wait, I think I have an idea, Reddy.
There is but one age old way to solve any problem..
We could play rock, paper, sissors!
How can we play that when we have pincers for hands?!?!

 

by DarkRen
9-20-02
Meanwhile, back on Earth..
*Chop* *Scream* *Maim* *Argh*
Hey! The Boss is coming, everyone look busy!
Oh, hey Boss. Fancy seeing you up here on Earth. What's up?
Just checking in on the war front. Things seem to be going surprisingly well considering we're fated to lose.
*Heh Heh* Well, we do our best, Dark Majesty. Umm.. a question, though. What's with the suit?
I'm meeting my lawyer to see if the 'prophesy' is legally binding.

 

by DarkRen
9-22-02
Ren watches news shows..
...
Bush wants more power, more power, more power!
...
Power, power, power! Bomb, Bomb, Bomb! Lets make some Democracies!
You know, I'm really starting to wonder if being an American is all its cracked up to be.
That's treasonous talk! The Feds are on their way, biotch!

 

by DarkRen
9-22-02
Ren tries reason.
Hey, wait. This is America, we have free speech here. You can't send the Feds. This is McCarthyism.
Blah, blah, blah. Now that we have this bill, Bush can do anything he wants. You should have known it wasn't just be for overseas. Now we can deal with all you dissenters.
Then again.
Umm.. I didn't know it was passed yet..
...
Saved? Maybe not.
You forgot that it wasn't passed yet, didn't you?
You just wait til agent Johnson and SWAT get there, buddy!

 

by DarkRen
9-23-02
Ren waits for the Feds to get to his place.
So you want to control what I can think? Isn't that sort of against what this country was founded for?
Ha ha, like it matters now. Terror is the order of the day and we're going to get all the permission we need to fight it, no matter what the cost!
That's pretty low, using people's fears like that.
Whatever it takes! All your freedoms are belong to us! Ha ha ha!
Ren decides to fight dirty.
You know, I could just turn you off.
You wouldn't dare!

 

by DarkRen
9-23-02
The Feds make it to Ren's place and knock on the door.
Are you DarkRen, misguided political pundit?
Umm.. sure, I guess you could say that. Are you FBI? You look a little.. rough.
It's been a rough year. We're all a little overworked, what with all the dissenters and terrorists.
Yeah, there must be a lot of those these days.. or something.
Right.. Look, come along quietly or I'll call over SWAT.
Of course I will. You are the brute thug authority figure after all. Lead away.

 

by DarkRen
9-23-02
That night, Ren paces in his cell.
Boy, this sure is boring. I've been here for hours.
It was a little exciting at first with all the Feds and SWAT scurrying around, but now.. its just blah.
Looks like things just got a little more interesting.
Hello, Ren, my name is John Ashcroft.

 

by DarkRen
9-23-02
Ren gets a visit from an ass.
Ashcroft, huh? You mean you're really..
Yes, yes. I'm a donky. I use camera tricks to appear human. Don't ask. Now, as I was about to say..
But why you? I mean, shouldn't you be busy with the War on Terror or something?
Never mind that. It's not important right now. What I was going to say was..
Hey, is it really true you lost an election to a dead guy?
Cut it out!

 

by DarkRen
9-24-02
Ren and Ashcroft chat in his cell.
So why am I here? Are you guys going to torture me, or something?
We don't like that term. Here we 'forcefully motivate' detainees to talk with us.
So I guess I'm just a detainee, not a political prisoner?
Exactly. That sounds so much better.
So I guess it would be alright to call this entire situation 'mentally challenged', right?
Don't push your luck.

 

by DarkRen
9-24-02
Ren is left to his own in his cell, considering his possible 'forceful motivation' in the morning.
This was not the day I envisioned when I got up. Looks like I'm going to have to bust out of here and go underground.
Ashcroft makes a new announcement to the American people under guise of his special effects.
..we've placed into custody a great danger to this country and its people.. *Blah blah*
This disguse dummy is great.
And the world is left to wonder..
Open Diary Readers > Where's Ren? He hasn't posted his dozen entries today.

 

by DarkRen
9-25-02
After some time, a simple possibility for escape comes to mind..
Hey, ole Asscroft left pretty quick, I wonder if..
Success! But still not yet out of the woods.
Yes! He didn't lock the door. I guess he can't take a few zingers.
Fortunately the guards are occupied with the a smuggled in TV.
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!
I was right, that show does rot the brain. *Sneak Sneak*

 

by DarkRen
2-03-03
Earth's Orbit...
Commander, we have activated the cloaking device. Shall we send down scouts to test their defenses?
Yes!
...
...
Guess who's coming to dinner.
Anywhere in particular or do you want to spin the random invasion wheel again?
Ohh, ohh! Maybe we'll win the vacation to Gurblesplektz!

 

by DarkRen
2-03-03
After the Wheel of Invasion..
So our first target is the United States of America?
Yes!
Sensors show they're currently at war with some sort of Axis of Evil.
This works out perfectly. They'll be far too busy with this Axis to defend against us!
Meanwhile in Washington DC.
Make Peace not War, man! You're gunna regret it.
Yeah right, you crazy hippie. That has as much chance of happening as an invasion by space aliens.

 

by DarkRen
2-11-03
Later in the Transporter Room
Are you sure this protective suit will work as a disguse?
Of course, the images taken from their primitive TeeVee communicators had many images that looked just like this.
Then why the disintegrator if I will blend in?
We can't be too careful, the TeeVee communications show these humans are violent primitives.
Anything else I should know?
If all else fails, say 'We come in peace'. They always fall for that.

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