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| Aha! I knew you were here all along! I am Captain Salmonella, and I have come to thwart your evil plan! | |
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| Um, my evil plan to get attacked by pirates, almost eaten by a sharkman, and anally raped by a cowboy? Because in that case you already failed. | |
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| You are a crafty advesary, Metacarpus, but you have not won yet. Captain Salmonella never accepts defeat! | |
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| Well then, how about I introduce your true identity, Vinnie the virgin chicken, to my good friend the suburban cowboy? I'm sure you two would hit it off well... | |
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