All comics by EMS73000

Profile

 

by EMS73000
11-11-02
I'm hungry.
Want to take my car and go someplace?
I've been up way too long, I'm really not safe to drive a car.
Why aren't you going to sleep?
I have a flight in the morning.

 

by EMS73000
12-04-02
It's beer! Reeeeddddd beer! Imported, Stamford, connecktikut
ta-HAHAHA du-HUDE! That's hiLAYrious!
Red beer! You're ugly! Now you're beautiful! Red beer! Connektikut connektikut connektikut
Please stop that.
You're Jewish and you licked a spatula.
I'm half Jewish and it wasn't a spatula. Anyway, I'm going to go fart on your chair.

 

by EMS73000
12-04-02
That rapper guy has a swimming pool in the middle of his house. That's styyyylinnnnnn'
Sup to my niggas in the A-T-L!!!
Sup to my niggas in the A-T-L!!!
I dunno, I'd rather spend my money on an education so I can have a fulfilling, worthwhile career that also happens to pay well.
The Federal government rejected United Airline's bid for a loan today, which means the airline will most likely go bankrupt. United has laid off 12,000 workers since 9-11....
Styyyyyylinnnn.....

 

by EMS73000
12-05-02
IP 360 learns the hard way....
That commercial student of yours was really well-prepared for his oral, you did a good job with him.
Thanks, Dave. *spit*
So do you spit like that ALL the time? *wink*
What's that supposed to mean?
YOU know......*wink wink*
Boy, I'ma nigga yo' ass up!

 

by EMS73000
12-05-02
Before.....
I'm really cute and innocent! My mom's craaaaaazy. Let's have sex!
Sounds like a plan to me!
During.....
Come back here! I want to have sex on the couch and then yell at you for an hour about messing up my pillows!
Pleeease, anything but the pillow speech!
After....
You never told me she was a crazy bitch.....
You didn't know that?

 

by EMS73000
12-08-02
I like reading journals of people I went to high school with. It makes me feel like I made such a smart decision to come to this school...
I mean look, I'm a commercial pilot at 19, I'll be a flight instructor at 20. Half these people are just living day to day, wasting their lives whining about how they haven't "found" themselves....
United Airlines is filing Chapter 11. And Jack Tamburri is getting more ass than you.
Remind me again why I don't drink heavily....

 

by EMS73000
12-09-02
Dominatrix porn
I wonder what these women do when they get old and can't get by on their looks
Old Dominatrix porn
OH SWEET JESUS.
We told you you should have stuck to asian girl porn!
That image will burn in your mind FOREVER!!! Me so vindictive!!

 

by EMS73000
12-09-02
:::ELEVATOR MUSIC:::
Wanna see the tattoos all over my back?
I'm blind, remember?
:::LOUDER ELEVATOR MUSIC:::
Oh yeah. I have to watch this videotape of a family I'm going to kill.
That's nice. I think I'll suck your dick while you do that.
Right before Ed Norton comes in.....
I'm not paying for that, you blind bitch.
OW! My eye!

 

by EMS73000
12-10-02
....but I got a lesson in life.
Well, it's been a pleasure teaching this class. If you need a reccomendation, call me. Just leave your tests up front when you're done.
Thanks, professor Garrett!
By the way, I'm dying of cancer.
.....
.......
So are we takin' this test or not?

 

by EMS73000
12-10-02
I love being back in New Jersey. Daytona's boring.
Yeah, so is Chicago. At least in Jersey there's always something to do
*whistle whistle whistle*
*scratch scratch*
Wanna watch me eat a jar of salsa?
DO I?!?!?

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