All comics by Fucko

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by Fucko
5-28-01
I'm the new warden around here and there's going to be some changes!
Oh yeah? Like what?
No masturbation, no smoking, no special meals and getting caught trying to escape will result in five weeks in the hole!
I hope he doesn't look under my Farrah Fawcett poster in my cell!
Boy this is very tempting to masturbate with the computer right in my cell!

 

by Fucko
5-28-01
wow.
I wonder how long he can keep this up.
Wait a minute your feet are glued to the ball!
You think David Copperfield never uses glue? HAH!

 

by Fucko
5-28-01
I bought a donkey under the impression that it would produce milk and that I would be able to make donkey cheese, now are you going to produce or what?!?!
HEEHAW
When I milk the cows on my farm, I allways warm my hands over the stove for a few minutes first, so it's more comfortable for them.
I'm beginning to wonder if should have even spent my $300 buying this stupid donkey from those gypsies, I might just butcher it and make soap from it's fat.
I don't know if I can do this, he looks so cute, but I need the soap, I have thousands of dirty little asian boys back at my ranch that need a good lathering.
Uhoh, back off mother-fucker, I know what your're up to, I've seen this look in your eye before.. yeah, like when you butchered the rabbits, yeah the rabbits, OH DEAR SWEET JESUS SAVE ME!

 

by Fucko
5-28-01
Hi, Dr. Grabow, Kenny Loggins sent me, he said you grew some killer weed and would sell me quarter sacks for 30 bucks!
How do I know your're not a fucking narc?!?! Give me one reason why I shouldn't throw you off my property immediatly young man!!
I could tell Kenny Loggins what really goes on here with you and the animals, I saw what you did to that donkey earlier! You know how Kenny Loggins spends thousands every year donating to the WWF.
Umm, that's World Wrestling Federation not the World Wildlife Fund that Loggins supports you moron, but never mind, I'll sell you some weed. You obviously have character.
I was only fucking around anyway Dr. Grabow, I wouldn't do that kind of shit, hehe.
Yeah, whatever asshole.

 

by Fucko
5-28-01
I designed this machine for you so that you may strip the fur from the llammas that you raise on the farm in less than half the time it takes your little asian sweatshop kids to do it now.
note to self: Diagnosis Murder is on tonight, that show rocks.
That means you will either have to get rid of all those asian kids somehow, kill them, or utilize them is some other productive or creative way.
I could sacrifice them to satan, but I give satan to much and never get back, maybe I'll just turn them all into my little sex slaves.
There you go dude, thats what I would do.
Pervert.

 

by Fucko
5-28-01
Hello little one, don't be afraid, I'm not here to harm you this time, I just wanted to tell you something.
please don't hurt me.
You kids had an outstanding productivity level yesterday in the llamma fur stripping shack. So I decided to treat you all to Mcdonald's for breakfast. Now get in the fucking van!
maybe this time I can escape
You little shit, you won't get away with this!!! I'll get bail and be back at the Farm before my dinner gets cold, and I'll hunt you down you little yellow shitbag!
That food from McDonald's was really shitty! I don't know how you Americans eat that crap on a daily basis!

 

by Fucko
5-29-01
What up, Dr. Grabow, I heard Brendan came by to get some weed and you were giving him a hard time. Oh by the way I need some more heroin.
I killed your friend and threw his carcass to the vultures Mr. Loggins, and you could be next so tread lightly you no-talent hollywood cocksucker!
Dr. Grabow, you are a funny mother fucker and that is why I fucking love you! I need you for my next video, you will play a mean candystore owner, the song is called sour candy.
I can't beleive you even bother making videos any more! Nobody watches them, do they? I am ashamed to even know your name.
Ha Ha! You should do stand up dude, seriously. Thanks for the H, my other dealer was eaten alive by polar bears, and his shit was weak anyhow.
I fucking love that guy, I wish we could be together, just me and him, he could sing me his beautiful music and hold me tight...

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