All comics by I_want_a_TB303

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by I_want_a_TB303
3-17-05
I'm sorry Sir, but I'm going to have to ask you to vacate that dustbin. It constitutes vagrancy
Shit
What do you mean, "shit"?
Nothing, it's just...
The only other picture of me available on this make-your-own-comic website has me hammering a nail into my skull. I liked the dustbin better, if I'm honest

 

by I_want_a_TB303
3-17-05
Right, got to remember this. Won't have my notes on the night... A man walks into a pub and asks for a large scotch...
And the barman says "Would you like an egg with that?"...
Later...
Cobblers. What was that joke about the scotch egg?

 

by I_want_a_TB303
3-18-05
It's a letter from Mickey Mouse
Hooray! I knew he'd write back! What does it say?
He says he's sorry he can't come to your party as he's taking Pluto to the vet on Saturday. "Happy Birthday, love from Mickey"
Aww... I love Mickey Mouse. I'll write and ask if he can come at Christmas
It's a gas bill really

 

by I_want_a_TB303
3-22-05
We've had a nice picnic, but it's time to go home now
Why?
Because it'll be dark soon
Why?
Because the Earth will have revolved so that the opposite side is facing the sun
Why?

 

by I_want_a_TB303
3-22-05
Because it's spinning on its own slightly irregular axis, whilst rotating the sun
Why?
Because it's not perfectly round
Why?
Because it's a relic of the 'big bang' that created the solar system, possibly the entire universe
Oh, I see. We should go then

 

by I_want_a_TB303
3-23-05
Doctor! I Can't feel my legs!
That's to be expected
But there was nothing wrong with my legs!
That's right...
But we had to amputate your arms

 

by I_want_a_TB303
3-24-05
This is your Captain speaking... A bomb has gone off in the cockpit, killing the entire crew
You may experience a little turbulence. Please observe the seatbelt sign. It'll the make identification process much simpler.
And don't worry, being a ghost is great fun. Soon you'll all be able to go "Woooo!" like this! ... Can I have your muffin if you're not going to eat it?

 

by I_want_a_TB303
3-30-05
Today in Central Park, three old ladies were shocked when a pervert exposed himself to them
Two of them had a stroke...
... the other couldn't quite reach

 

by I_want_a_TB303
3-30-05
Hey everybody! The peanut cupboard's unlocked!

 

by I_want_a_TB303
3-30-05
I've got this great idea for a website. I'm going to be rich!
Oh yeah? What are you calling it?
Ask-the-pig.com. You type in any question and I find out the answer, then email you back. I'll make a fortune in advertising!
Cool!
One month later...
How's your website going?
Not great. When I look up a question in Google it sends me right back to Ask-the-pig.com

 

by I_want_a_TB303
4-01-05
Hi Bob, haven't seen you in ages. How's things?
I've just been through a really painful separation
Oh?
Yeah, I should never have married my siamese twin

 

by I_want_a_TB303
4-06-05
Hi Bill, are you ready for gym?
Yeah, send him in

 

by I_want_a_TB303
4-21-05
Hey Marvin, are you dead yet?
I'm not sure if I am or not, but my headache has cleared up
I reckon I could get used to this

 

by I_want_a_TB303
4-21-05
I've got to hand it to those maggots...
...they've really cleared out my sinuses

 

by I_want_a_TB303
4-29-05
Hey Marvin, I just thought of a way we could get off this island
We could signal to planes flying overhead by forming a message in morse code
What's "dot dot" in morse code?

 

by I_want_a_TB303
7-21-05
Hey Marvin, what was your favourite part of the decomposition process?
For me, it's got to be when the flies ate my scalp
It was like that time I bought menthol shampoo by mistake

 

by I_want_a_TB303
8-22-05
Hey, Marvin, I'm almost as bored as the bloke writing this cartoon strip
Today he's working on a trade paper, editing a story about the new signposts in Birmingham University
He should think himself lucky - at least he's got internet access. I haven't checked my Hotmail for weeks. People will think I'm ignoring them.

 

by I_want_a_TB303
8-31-05
Marvin's been acting kind of weird lately
He hasn't said a word since I made that joke about him looking a little drawn
Sure, it wasn't my best gag, but that's no reason to start ignoring me

 

by I_want_a_TB303
9-15-05
Things that look the same on the way out as they did on the way in...
Snickers, sweetcorn, chilli con carne, chicken tikka masala...
... orange vitamin drinks, chopped liver, doner kebabs, and my favourite, fig jam

 

by I_want_a_TB303
12-07-06
Someone's started putting comic strips on the notice board
So I see
I think we should tell facilities
They're wasting paper, for one thing
I wouldn't mind if they were funnny
I know, this one doesn't even have a punchline

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