Hello. My name is Rumple Holstoy, principle of Flabbercarp Academy Private School.
We here at Flabber Carp academy care about your children. Our highly educated faculty spends countless hours every day preparing lessons and working to make education fun, and interesting.
YOU GET BACK IN THE BATHROOM!
Can I stop scraping the gunk off the walls with my teeth yet?
This, ladies and gentlmen, is Lost. If you've ever had a previous encounter with Lost, then you know full well that he is a confused, illiterate, incoherent individual who serves no particular purpose
Papafoo?
But Lost was not always this way. No, he was once a rich and powerful man. He had money, women, respect. He had it all. So what happened?
Goopherglabben!
What turned Lost into the confused individual he is today? To find out, we must take a trip into the past, and examine... The Origin of Lost!
I'm very glad that you've chosen us as your son's elementary school, Mr. Elph. I can assure you, he will recieve only the best of care and the highest standard of education.
Of course. If you'll just send him with me, we can begin immediatly.
Yeah, sure, whatever, great. I don't care what you do, so long as you keep him out of my hair for a few hours every day. And for the third time, he's not my son. I just kind of found him in a corner.
It seems as though we have a few more characters to introduce, who I neglected to remember earlier on.
Because I'm a dumb cracker and stuff like that.
Anyway, this is Pinko, our resident... Pinko. She's really cool. Sometime's she throws stuff.
Wee!
I believe I told you NOT to tell them that.
And this is Keith. He doesn't show up much, because he does top-secret work for the government, but whenever he does come by for a visit, we usually end up with at least three dead bodies.