All comics by Kaimon

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by Kaimon
1-07-01
MUST CRUSH HUMANS!
Uh, hello?
Jerk-off.
I've got to work on my pickup line algorithm...

 

by Kaimon
1-07-01
Dig it.
Yeah.
You know, we're too cool for this comic.
Let's roll.

 

by Kaimon
1-07-01
Great, another strip that doesn't make sense.
Wazzap in the hizouse!
Don't look at me.
What? We do make sense!
We're just being translated from Japanese.
Well, that's alright then. Carry on.
WHAT YOU SAY?
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!

 

by Kaimon
1-07-01
So I decided to have a sex change operation, but there were complications.
They had to make me one and a half inches tall, and Asian.
I figure the movie deals should come pouring in now.

 

by Kaimon
1-07-01
Dude, your resolution is low. Turn to 800x600, at least.
Really?
Yeah, we look like crap at this rez.
Hold on, I'll switch it up...
Hmm, maybe that was a bad idea. We're tiny!
This sucks.

 

by Kaimon
1-07-01
I wonder what Matt Groening thinks.
About what?
You know, using us without his permission...
I'm sure he's got other things to worry about.
Damn you, NFL! Damn you, Rupert Murdoch!

 

by Kaimon
1-07-01
BOW DOWN BEFORE GAN! HAIL THE ALLIANCE!
E-MAIL THE SCIENCE?
TRAIL THE DEFIANCE!
HAIL THE CRESCENT WRENCH!
RAIL THE COMPLIANCE!
IDIOTS...

 

by Kaimon
1-07-01
Damn unions. How am I supposed to come up with $40,000 a week salary?
No money, no funny!

 

by Kaimon
1-07-01
Why are you smiling?
I gave into her demands.
WHO LIKES MONEY? I DO!
what a bitch...

 

by Kaimon
1-07-01
I wanna be a Pokemon master!
Shut up.
...
Thanks.
You're welcome.
What did I just say?

 

by Kaimon
1-07-01
Rate this comic -5!
You know you want to.
Bring it on, we can take it.
We've got masochistic tendencies!
You think it worked?
Dude, reverse psychology ALWAYS works.

 

by Kaimon
1-07-01
Have you noticed that most people will rate their own comic +5 right after they make it?
Democracy doesn't work.
Then what does work?
ROBOTOCRACY!
HAHAHAHAHA!
Screw it, I'm giving myself a +5

 

by Kaimon
1-07-01
Hey, wanna menage-a-trois?
Sure!
Um...
Huh.
Two-character limit sucks.
Oh yeah.

 

by Kaimon
1-07-01
I know how to make people rate this comic highly...
how's that?
BOOBS!
BOOBSBOOBSBOOBSBOOBS
Boobs.
Yeah. Boobs.

 

by Kaimon
1-07-01
clone staring contests: not much fun.
he's gonna fold
he's gonna fold

 

by Kaimon
1-08-01
Give me a reason to live in 5 seconds, or nail goes into forehead.
Well...
...
Your blue shirt is really nice.
Ngghh...
Hey, I tried...

 

by Kaimon
1-08-01
You know what sucks? Being clip-art.
You know what sucks even more? Dying for humanity's sins, being made clip-art, and being used by a comic-site for humor.
Hmm...
I won the west...
Give up now.

 

by Kaimon
1-08-01
That's it, my comic's off the top ten.
You know what that means.
You thought I was going to make a funnier comic, didn't you?

 

by Kaimon
1-08-01
Hey, wanna menage-a-trois?
Sure!
Um...
Huh.
You don't speak French either, do you?
Nope.

 

by Kaimon
1-08-01
Remember when we were young and innocent?
Yeah...
Meanwhile, 20 years ago...
Hey, wanna play doctor?
Sure!
Yep. Those were the days.
We were pure as newfallen snow.

 

by Kaimon
1-08-01
This comic would be funny...
..only if...
...it had a fourth panel.

 

by Kaimon
1-08-01
You make over 12 comics.
You check every 5 seconds for updates.
You find this comic funny.

 

by Kaimon
1-09-01
You know why I'm always holding my chin like this?
I always figured it was some sort of horrible, disfiguring scar.
...
Shut up, just shut up!
I'm right, aren't I.

 

by Kaimon
1-09-01
Well, that ends our comic strip for today...
We'll see you next week with more sex jokes. Ha ha!
This is Helmut, signing off.
And this has been Clango Cyclotron. Gnight, folks!
This comic is property of Major League Baseball. Any duplication or retransmission of this comic without the express, written consent of Major League Baseball is strictly prohibited. Violators will be

 

by Kaimon
1-09-01
So, this is Hell, huh?
Nope, this is Heaven, and I'm St. Peter.
There was a mistranslation in the Bible... turns out you have to be EVIL to get into the good place. Oops.
Meanwhile, in Heaven...
Yes!
Mass genocide, horrible crimes against humanity... go right in!

 

by Kaimon
1-09-01
It's an ear, OKAY?
Nobody asked.

 

by Kaimon
1-11-01
And now, with this rocket, I shall destroy the world!
Not so fast, Dr. Maligno!
Ach, my plan! You have ruined it comple-
Due to lack of special effects funding, we must cancel your comic in progress. Instead, here is a bird.
Man, what a lame gig.

 

by Kaimon
1-11-01
Put your hands up in the air!
And move them around like you just don't care!
You're stuck too, aren't you?
I knew we should have been oiled before we went to the dance.

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