All comics by Kazagistar

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by Kazagistar
4-07-07
Somewhere in deep space(civ)...
Kazagistar: Hi there, friend! Would you like to join my very big and powerful alliance? If so, please take your fleets to fight the... BIG ENEMY over there, far away from your planets...
n00b: Alright! a big alliance sounds great! I will do whatever I can to get in!
Haha! With his entire fleet gone on a mission for an imaginary alliance, I can proceed to take all his systems with my fleet parked just out of his sight radius!
... I'm not seeing anyone...
BATTLE REPORT: ALL YOUR SHIPS DESTROYED! ENEMY AT 97%! YOU GOT PWNZRD BY DEFENCES!
Um... that was a test! We were... um... using a minor portion of my, I mean our fleets to test your defences any you passed! Wecome to the alliance!
Sure...

 

by Kazagistar
4-07-07
Welcome! Today, all the evil secrets of the mastermind genius are revealed!
Hi, my name is Astax, and today I shall share my SpaceCiv-dominating secret strategies with you all!
First, I never sleep. That way, I can never be caught off-guard, so don't even try. I also encourage people to band together and attack me because that gives me planets with no reputation penalty.
And most important of all... the one that I have never told a living soul: all of my soldiers are cannibals!
HUMAN FLESH MAKES WARRIORS STRONG!

 

by Kazagistar
4-07-07
Turn 211, Galaxy 13, SpaceCiv:
Baller101: who do you think u r take planet in my solar system r u new player r not dont try to pull anything i send you a treaty
?
in case you havent notice u r surrounded by my planets and i do have a strong military i gave u a chance no feel my raft!!!
BATTLE REPORT: Baller101 vs Minkis Planatery-defense damage: 0% Baller101's ship damage: 100%
you're strong lets protect each other man
...

 

by Kazagistar
4-07-07
Astax finalizes his plans for the day...
Finally, I can sleep tonight. My fleets are so big I can just send them blindly and nothing will top them!
WE CANNOT FAIL! WE WANT BLOOD!
ZZZzzzzzzz.......
Zap! Bang! Crash! Boom! Aiiii!
The next morning...
CRUD!!! WTF just happened here? It can't be... NOOOOOOOOO!
THEY WERE TOO SMART FOR US! WE ARE VANQUISHED!

 

by Kazagistar
4-07-07
Aboard a Colony Ship, Turn 68
The star system is coming into scanner range. It has 2 colonized planets, and 4 empty ones, brimming with resources.
What is it's name?
It apears to be named "Meh, I'm not playing".
I'm so happy I think I could cry...

 

by Kazagistar
4-07-07
So Erwin, many people have astutely pointed out that it is in fact impossible that you created a game as good as SpaceCiv on your own. What is your secret?
You are right. I do not do this on my own, as I have previously claimed, but rather rely on a large amount of help from various sources...
... First, I have a team of proffesional developers, as well as robot, to help me manage the forums.
We work 16 hours a day without pay, but we still are the best programmer, graphics designer, and software tester in the known universe. Boo-yah!
I AM ERWIN. HEY GUYS WHAT DO YOU THINK? IT IS LOW PRIORITY. THANK YOU. IT IS LOW PRIORITY...
I also have a few... other friends...
Hear ye! We of the Knights Templar pretended to disband our order to hide 'till such a day when humanity would be ready for SpaceCiv.
We help make SpaceCiv to train commanders for humaity's future space wars. Without your help, the evil Zorgokians shall destroy all sentient life in the universe!

 

by Kazagistar
4-09-07
High Priority To-Do List
Medium Priority To-Do List
Low Priority To-Do List

 

by Kazagistar
4-09-07
Hi! I'm new to this game. How do I make a ship design? I am going to do some serious damage with these Colony Ships. How do I send you a treaty?
?
Do you think I should build some light turrets, or will a shuttle in each system be enough? I am in 28th place, so I know I'm doing pretty well.
newbie = free planets...
Lesson 1: Do not advertise that you have no idea what you are doing. It does not make you friends... it makes you a target.
Now where was I?

 

by Kazagistar
4-09-07
Erwin asks the players their opinion...
...so therefore I want to know what you guys think. Should we implement the new changes, or not?
Astax: No. Stop trying to gimp me just because I own you all.
Pretap: Nah, it's fine how it is. Lets keep the diversity.
Kazagistar: I don't think so. Better to keep it as is so I can betray, erm, play better.
Rismagi: Yes, because I like it better that way.
All right then, yes it is!

 

by Kazagistar
4-10-07
Leet: Yeah, I already have horrible reputation so destroying another mini-empire will only help...
n00b: u better watch out, i almost got all technology researched!
All technology? Oh well, I guess it's worth the risk.
He must f33r me now. he knows i 2 good!
Lesson 2: The research tab has this thing called a scroll bar. Make sure this gets used.
That was easy... corvettes? Light turrets?
OMG! how u do that thos ships wer crazy fast! WTF is destroyers?

 

by Kazagistar
4-21-07
Every comic strip creator has at least one random comic that no-one understands, so I feel obliged to add my bit. I'm so sorry...
Ow, my head.
OMG! WTF!
Easter is when Jesus came back as an egg laying bunny, right?
eye lub Diablo 2! eye cn rush j00 wit my lvl 99 nerco for hell! forge cow runs are roxor! selling eth selling eth selling eth...
Ah! Not the friction! I moved to fast again!
Let's say butt a lot, because its a funny word! Butt butt butt butt butt butt butt butt butt butt butt butt....

 

by Kazagistar
6-03-07
I am Garthox123, ruler of the mighty Xelaxtronomega empire, and I demand...
quickstrike: Score: 234534 / Rep: -2.34 Garthox123: Score: 5435 / Rep: 0.00 Difference = 4315%
...that you surrender to my approaching attack fleet and pay due tribute!
This means a giant rep loss capped at 20% for only one system, making such action... wait, did he just say ATTACK?!?
Lesson 3: If your score is a lot lower then that of the leaders, then their potential reputation loss is the only thing keeping you alive. DON'T ATTACK THEM FIRST!
5 free planets + 0.00 rep loss = GOOD!

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