All comics by Mike_Fireball

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by Mike_Fireball
10-05-01
I like root beer.
Me too.
No... I really like it.
Well then why don't you marry it, motherfucker?

 

by Mike_Fireball
10-05-01
If you were a shellfish, which one would you be?
Um, starfish don't fall into that category, do they?
Let me think. No, dork. No shell.
I'll pick. You're a clam.
My gym teacher in grade school used to tell us to "be a clam" as an alternative to "shut up."

 

by Mike_Fireball
10-05-01
But, my computer... it is still broken.
Um... it's just a computer?
Think of bunnies and flowers and other beautiful things! Those will always work!
Yeah, but they tend to work a lot better when the other beautiful things want to make out with you.

 

by Mike_Fireball
10-05-01
That's it! I want a divorce!
But... we were never married.
That's what makes it so difficult!
I love you.
I want to believe that...

 

by Mike_Fireball
10-06-01
In this scene, the part of Karen will be played by a dolphin, & the part of the magic stones will be played by some seaweed.
These stones are smooth & pretty.
Yes. And they are also magic!
Hey, mine has a crack in it!
Well, you don't have to be perfect to be magic!
You're wonderful!
Tell every girl you know.

 

by Mike_Fireball
10-06-01
Devil dogs & root beer... the man's dream life.
Minus the devil dogs, that is.
We can't all be real men I guess.
Fine. You can HAVE your smelly old devil dogs!! I'll just sit here & eat my Cheerios in peace!
Hold me.
Dude I think my mom's watching porn.

 

by Mike_Fireball
10-16-01
I'm drunk with buttershots!
MWAHAHAHAH! I am invincible!!1
So, what's a good job? I want a new one.
Gynocologist.
Yeah, but that requires more schooling.
Damn.

 

by Mike_Fireball
10-16-01
How about a rockstar?
But... hrm... I would have to sell my soul, right?
Not necessarily. You could just like, have a gimmick instead. Like wear stupid masks, or write songs about fucking dogs in the ass.
Hrm... but that would require musical talent.
Oh yeah. Guess your soul it is, then. Or... you could just be a ninja.
That's it!

 

by Mike_Fireball
10-16-01
I'll go apply at www.ninjaburger.com!
Welcome to Ninja Pizza: home of the nice slice!
What aboot driving instructor?
Sure, if you enjoy danger.
Danger is my maiden name, baby.

 

by Mike_Fireball
10-16-01
How about a Front Loader operator?
A what now?
Those thingies that have the big scoop in the front for moving snow & dirt, but I dunno... me and heavy construction equipment sounds... dangerous... for all parties.
Like Mr. Plow?
Sorta, but more lifting, & less pushing. Probally the guy that scoops up the snow piles Mr. Plow makes.
Mr. Very Large Shovel, perhaps?

 

by Mike_Fireball
10-29-01
I have a confession to make.
Yes?
My culturally deprived smelly ass has never heard an Ozma song.
AHEM... whoa.
Dude, I thought it was gonna be something else, like bigger. Haha, I was all worried.
Oh yeah, & I was born a woman.

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