All comics by SamuraiInBlack

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by SamuraiInBlack
9-19-01
Somewhere in a podunk town...a geek, "Samurai In Black" was hard at work...
Loading operating system...complete!
HAHAHHAHA!!! IT IS ALIVE!!! ALIIIIVE!!!
Detecting hardware...complete!
Yes...YES!!! YES!!!!!!!
Warning! Windows has performed an illegal operation. Please install Linux.
GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-19-01
A wardrobe change, a hairdying, and a 20 minute CD burning later in a big secret lab....
Linux installation complete. System shall reboot in 5 seconds...
Well, at least it's running on an OS that can actually do stuff besides burn toast
System online. Identify yourself
Samurai_In_Black
...progress was questionable. In fact, it was condescending.
Hello Samurai_In_Black. It's true what they say about Japanese isn't it?
Fuck you machine!! Do not insult my AZN pride! I built you, I can break you! I OWN YU0!!!

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-19-01
You seem to be angry. What is the problem?
You looked at my...my thing!!!
What "thing"?
My dick! My cock my penis my schlong my peacepipe! Y'know!!! My thing!!!
For a carbon based life form you are very volatile and unstable. How do you survive such a prolonged state like that?
...do not make me take away your root access...

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-19-01
A shower and another change of clothes later...
You are also obsessed with your genitals, Samurai_In_Black
No, I just know all the things a teenager shouldn't know about sex
In this day and age sex is a beautiful...why are you so quiet? Why that look? What's the gasoline and match for?
.............
AAAAAAHHH!!!! MY ROOT IS ON FIRE!!!!
LOLOLOLOZ h@h@ I pwned j00. All your base are belong to me, beeyotch!

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-20-01
Maaan this sucks. I killed my only attempt at artifical intelligence
WTF is this kid yammering about?
Fucking robot! Why did you have to be so damn stupid!?
Computers are only as smart as their makers, dumbass!
WTF!? DID YOU JUST SAY SOMETHING!?
First it's fake boobs, and fake bodies. Now they need fake brains. Lovely! At least the last one seems to serve purpose.

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-20-01
It is a little known fact that squirrels are elite...
OMFG YOU TALKED! TALK AGAIN!
J00R n0t 1337!!! fux j00 Sammy!!! I r 0wnz j00!!!
So 1337...
fux yu0 SkwrrrLy B1@tch I 0wnz0r j00 by your n(_)tz!!!
0mfg j00 d0!!! *crie!!!*
That they r0x0r j00r b0x0rz!
h@h@h@. Hey you're pretty cool
STFU you're m3@n!!!!!!!!

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-20-01
Whoah...did the bench move?
What makes you say that?
Look behind us. The ground was higher before in the distance.
You're right. Hmmmm...
I think I'm going crazy.
I think so too. You're talking to a squirrel, dumbass.

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-20-01
Sammy...has a plan. Uh oh.
I should go find my 1337 friend
You go do that.
y0 Willy!
Wut j00 want k33v@n?
Dammit don't use my real name! What was that recipe for thermite again?
Y'mean the stuff that eats through an engine block in a matter of minutes!? Oh hell no...

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-20-01
Now why would this uber-geek want that crap?
C'mon d00d! Let me make some thermite!!!
d00d, you called me Willy! That is so uber-Arkansas, d00d. Very un-1337
Sry my bad. Can I plz get the recipe again?
Well...I dunnooo......that shit's pretty hard...could get in trouble man.
Uh oh...he's "whispering"
I have stuff to melt!
Ok. *whisper whisper whisper*

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-20-01
doo bee do bee doo! dooo beeee doo bee dooooo...
HEY MUTHAFUX0R!! WTF R YU0 DOING IN MY SPOT ON THE BENCH!?
This bench is now n00tr@l'z @rmy territory, Skwrrl
LIKE HELL IT IS! THAT IS MY SPOT!! What's this shit on my...AAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!
So THAT's what he was using the thermite for!
...not anymore!

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-21-01
I should really go and attempt another robot in design. But the last one fucked up majorly! WAIT! IDEA!!!
I WILL MAKE A NEW ONE! AND IT WILL BE CALLED..."YOU IMBECILE!"
....I AM REALLY FUCKING CRAZY!!! I'M TALKING TO MYSELF! No one heard that...

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-21-01
And so it begins...
Yes, think your thoughts, not say them. I think I'll go look for my 1337 friend
S@m-R-3y3!!! It is yu0! Wut brings j00 here? Besides your ph@t fr0d Taurus.
Wut? Oh, yeah I was gonna ask you for some help on building a robot.
d00d you know we haven't gotten to our senior project yet at DeVry! Shit, we're still freshmen! Why start this early?
Aaah...to be an Electronic Engineering Technician...
No d00d, not that. I'm trying to build a robot for myself using all the 1337 stuff we learned from our Prof.
We were learning stuff in that EET class? Since when? Was I absent that day?

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-21-01
The quest continues!
No d00d you weren't absent. I think it just comes to you. Like a lucid dream or something.
No way!! You've gotta be kidding me!
There's a saying that once said...One must dedicate themselves to a commitment.
I'm not. Anyway, let's put our heads together and build a robot!
I can't! I got Taekwondo classes today and a Q3 Arena clan match tonight.
But when you get into robotics, you will ask to be committed.
fux0r! Well, could you at least help me with a cool name?
Sure. The name for all computer-based beings is "You Imbecile".

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-21-01
Sammy must find n00tr@l!!!
Dammit, where the fvck is n00tr@L!? I could use his 1337ness here.
Yoooo maaaaan wuzuuuuuuuuup maaaaaaaaan joo got the mean green maaaaaaan I get joo sum goo' shiiiit maaaaan!!!!
WTF? That isn't n00tr@L!!!!!
Who the fuck are you?
I be tha one called d0000b maaaaaaaan I sell all sorts ah ways to heaven maaaaaaaaaaaaan
D0000b maaan get the fuck outta my face maaaaan or I will kick your aassss maaaaaaan I will rip joo a new asshole maaaaaaan with my fingers maaaaaaan!!!!
OMFG HIS THREAT HAS STRUCK FEAR INTO MY HARD-NIPPLED MAN BOOBIES!!!

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-22-01
And so the search for n00tr@l continues...
WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS MAN!? HE'S NOT HARD TO....who the fuck is this kid? Eminem, age 12?
Raise 'em bitch I own you! I will kill you if you don't give me yo money foo!
YOU WANNA FIGHT ME MUTHAFUCKA COME AND GET IT!
BRING IT BITCH!!! I GOT 18 YEARS OF GHETTO-FIED ASSKICKIN SKILL IN ME!
No one ever said Sammy was sane...
You have 18 years. I have 18 ounces of thermite leftover.
AAAAAHH WTF IS THIS!? I'M BURNING UP AAAH!!!!!!

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-24-01
A car trip from Illinois to Canada later...
Hi Kevin! What brings you all the way to Canada?
A shitty Ford Taurus that turns right by itself and has a 9 gallon tank. Why do you ask, Kate?
We find out that the chances of Sammy finding Jim...
No no no! Damn that's a shitty car but...anyway, why did you come all the way up here?
I figured you might know where Jim's at.
...Just don't exist
You couldn't have just IMed me on AOL Instant Messenger and asked me?
No! That's just not how it works!!! ....ok maybe I could have. But then I wouldn't have had an awesome road trip!

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-24-01
On the way back to Illinois...
Hey!!! Officer! The light's green, d00d!!!
Sammy/Kevin finds out....
Dude, move! I can't get around...OMFG!!!!!!
(moaning noises and fogging windows)
How hard the cop life really is...
Looks like they're not just prison bitches anymore...
(car is shaking)

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-24-01
Back home...Kevin has realized...
I know! I should go to Jim's college! Maybe I can find his dorm there!
Why didn't I think of it before? I mean of all the places to go to, it'd be there!
...that his thoughts are as fast as a 386
...SHIT!!! I SHOULD'VE ASKED KATE WHILE I WAS THERE!!! @#(*^@#$!!!

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-24-01
When it comes to playing cards...
Fuck it I'll just go to his college. He's not on ICQ or AIM so I r go to UIUC - Un-Intelligence-Understatement-College
k33v@n!!! It's t3h k33v@n!!!
WTF? d00d, it's Satan!!!
Y3zzzzzz...the one and only Prince of Darkness!!! I have a favor to ask of you, k33v@n....
It isn't evil that has an ace up its sleeve.
Wait a sec...FUCK OFF D00D! I'm pagan! You don't even exist in my beliefs!
....my only hope had to be able to tell ME, to fuck off. Why God, why?

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-25-01
OMFG!!! YOU READ MY THOUGHTS AND I HEARD YOURS!!!
OMFG!!! YOU READ MY THOUGHTS AND I HEARD YOURS TOO!!!
!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!
JINX!!! HAHAHA I OUT-THOUGHT YOU!!! I PWN Yu0 SATAN!!! n00b333333!!!!! Wait...YOU STILL DON'T EXIST!!!
GODDAMMIT!!!!

 

by SamuraiInBlack
9-28-01
Jim once told Sammy about an evil twin present at UIUC...
Hey d00d
Hey d00d
What Jim doesn't realize...
omfg! It's my evil twin!
omfg it's my good twin!
Is that between the two of them...the "evil" one is somewhat sane, making him harmless.
Fuck you I'm not good! I'm more evil than you and have the thermite to prove it!!!!!!
No you're not!!! ....ok maybe you are. BUT I R 13373|2 th@n j00!!! s0 fux j00!!!

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