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| In a move that shocked the world, Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad today announced that Iran was replacing Islam as its official religion with puppies. | |
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| "From now on, whenever the US does something stupid, we will simply smile and send them a fuzzy puppy," he said in a prepared statement. | |
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| The US immediately reported a huge increase in the number of southeastern Asian immigrants wielding forks. The administration denies any correlation. | |
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