All comics by Semprini_Goat

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by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
We join our heros in the randy room of DEATH
I am the anus monkey!
I have a problem with your company you selfish oaf
Please shut up before I break your leg
SHUT UP I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU YOU POUNCE!
Fine, I will leave you you anus cheese wart
Whatever, go away before I insert a monkey in your jaw!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
So elephant walks away, rejected by his cruel opressor
That stick guy has no sense of humour, I wonder why he doesnt enjoy my outbursts of happiness? That is one sad fuck!
Elephant man meets a man
Hey, free elephant skin!
Elephant skin? Are you implying that you wanna skin me and kill me? Not a chance in hell bucko!
Yep. May I use my knife to cut up your skin? Please?
No you fickle fucknutter lampshade! TUT TUT!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Elephant is mad at this town
This is the most retarded place I have ever seen. Look at the prick in front of me!
I'M NAKED! WEEEEEEEEE!
HEY YOU LUGHEAD! PUT ON SOME PANTS!
Who the hell are you to intrude in my master plan!
I AM THE GRAND MASTER ELEPHANT OF WHICH ALL HELLSPAWN DECEASE!!!!
Oh please, you look like a oversized newt

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Elephant is getting really mad at this individual offender
I suggest you put on a tie at least before I snap your neck in half!
You idiot, I don't have a neck. Think of something clever for once in your life!
Well, okay, how about this: You have a gut like my uncle kool-aid!
You don't have a goddamn uncle kool-aid stupidarse
Meanwhile...
Oh cmon, not even a sip?
No, this beer is mine uncle kool-aid!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
OMG SHOWDOWN LOLZ!
That's it, you are getting an ass whoopin!!!!
I would beware, I am deadly with an axe
FIGHTING ENSUES LOLZ OMGOMGOMG
YOU ASS...OW FU...SH...DAMNIT!
I am here to fill up the frame. Tra la la
OMG DEATH LOL *dies*
Heh, that was easy
Ow, it tastes like burning! AHHHH! OOOOH! EHHHH! FIRE ORGASM AHHHH!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Oh shit, the cops are here! Gotta run!
So, we have a crime scene here, of all places!
Yeah, go figure eh?
...boo?
Hey, have you ever noticed how much we look alike? It is rather creepy eh?
Wha? Huh? Sorry, I was mentally undressing you

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Elephant is on the run!
So now I'm a fugitive. This is a new experience for me, like when I had sex with that stapler once
Did I just hear a sex confession???
Uh...no?
Pinch me, I'm dreaming? A talking elephant of all things? How intriguing!
I get paid for being able to talk ya asswipe
....tell me more about your stapler sex!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
More chitchat
Why should I give you any details? You might blab about it, you do look like an important scientist after all!
That's not entirely true...
Heh, just between you and me, I stole this suit from a real scientist. Wonder where he is right now
Over here
I wonder where that crazy person with my sciency suit went off to
DONT ASK ME BESTEST FRIEND! I'M JUST A THUMB!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Will you shut up Dan, I'm trying to locate the asshole who stole my suit!
MAYBE IT IS IN MY HAPPY THUMB PLACE THAT I LOOK IN AND TOUCH BESTEEST FRIEND!!!!!!1
Hey, I have a good question for you
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOWS BESTEST FRIEND OF ALL THE FRIENDEST FRIENDS EVER IN FRIENDLAND???
DO YOU EVER FUCKING SHUT UP???
MAYBE BESTEST FRIEND, I'D KILL MARTHA STEWART AND HER LAWYER JUST FOR YOU BESTEST FRIENDLY FRIEND MAN!!!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Dan has a revelation
Does it ever end? The torment of life upon severed souls that ruin the misfortune of life?
Is there any hope for mankind in this divine paradox of life?
Possibly, there is only one man ready to take on the job of saving humanity!
ME, SUPERTHUMB DAN! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
AND MY BESTEST FRIEND SHALL HELP ME IN MY QUEST RIGHT BESTEST FRIEND EVA???
God kill me now

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
The guy that we havent given a name yet, how about Fred, is at wit's end
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
Why isnt this killing me??
Who the hell are you?
I am the gay dog, and I have a letter that relates to your lost scientist suit!
HEY BESTEST FRIEND, WANNA GO THROW STONES AT ME>??!?>!?>!?#
Shut up, a gay dog just gave me a letter...oh my god...no way...*flashback*

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
We flashback to some time ago!
How are you doing Ralph?
OH, BETTER THAN YOU COULD IMAGINE FRIEND!
Wait a second...where did you get that suit
Most certainly not your closet...
WHAT? Give me back my suit you halfwit!
Bye

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
WHAT IS WRONG BESTEST FRIEND!
...Ralph is the one who stole my sciency suit...
BUT THAT IS UNETHICAL, FOR YOU ALREADY KNEW HE HAD IT BECAUSE YOU HAD A FLASHBACK ABOUT IT, SO WHY DIDNT YOU CHASE HIM BEFORE?
Er...
SOMEONE IS A HYPOCRITE BESTEST FRIENDLY MAN!
Shut the fuck up Dan

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Back to Ralph and Elephant
So that's why paper is white?
What the hell are you talking about? Sex with objects again?
You are a pervert
Funny, you arent the first person to state that
Oh?
Yeah, my last 30 patients complained about my looking at their testicles

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Yes the background is weird...
Woah woah woah, hold the phone there, you are a doctor?
Why, whatever gave you that thought?
You talk about your patients and their testicles...
Uh...well...HEY LOOK OVER THERE!
I'm gay
Stupid Ralph

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
The deer is quite fruity
My nose grew because I'm horny and gay
Shut. Up.
I am looking at your thick nose...mmmm
Okay, I'm not gonna look at you no more
I have changed into my true form. YOU WILL PERISH! TO THE DEATH ARENA!
I still think you're gay

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
FIGHT TO THE DEATHATHA!
FEEL THE WRATH OF HELLHAMMER DEATH!!!
I'm shaking in my hooves...okay sorry for the lame elephant joke
NOW TRY TO DODGE MY ANUS ROCKETS OF HELLS ANGEL WANKER WITCH BURN! ROOOOAR!
This is the stupidest thing ever
NO, I HAVE LOST THE BATTLE AND TURNED INTO A PHONE! A HORNY PHONE!
Good for you

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
What about Fred, where is he?
No, I can't kill you little asian kid, it isnt right
I thought you wanted the golden sarcastic beeper
But then the contradicting panda comes and reckons that we need service
You are better than that get up!
AH, WHERE AM I?
Go back to sleep, dont think about me inserting this flag into your anus

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Now wait one second scary army man, where am I and why am I glued into this trash can?
If you must know...
We saw you wandering around, you had the perfect head
We needed your head to make a tasty milkshake
YOU ARE THRISTY AND PEOPLE ARE DYING RIGHT NEAR THIS BUNKER?
Well excuse us for wanting brains to drink!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
What kind of messed up army is this? I demand to speak with the general!
Fine, I guess we will need to unglue you from the trash can. SERVANT????
Uhoh...
TIME TO REMOVE! TIME TO REMOVE! TIME TO REMOVE!
Random Sound Effects > j00

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Gah, thanks a lot, now I can't feel my ass
You dont even have a goddamn ass, now come, we are walking down the death hallway to see the general
Wow, this hallway is so dark, I can't see my arms and legs! Freaky stuff!
We are almost there ya whore...we just need to pass by Tommy
Uh...who the fuck is t...HEY WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO YOU BASTARD?

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Fred is out in the dark
AHHH I CAN'T SEE A BLOODY THING IN THIS DEATH HALLWAY! AGH!
AH, A ZAP IN FRONT OF ME!
...I assume you are Tommy
EXCELSIOR!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
So who the hell are you Tommy, and why are you here, and where did that gay army guy go?
I have perfectly square glasses!
You say that like you are proud of it you nerd!
I am no nerd, just because I know all the constellations and made up my own martian language means nothing!
No, I think you are a nerd
I watch Hamtaro

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
I've had enough of your banter Tommy, you are gonna die
Oh goody, are you gonna use moves from Dead Or Alive?
Actually, I was kinda gonna clobber your head with this hammer until you fell down
Dead or Alive makes me horny.
Wow, I didnt know hammers could do that

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Well, I'm out of that dark tunnel...THERE YOU ARE ARMY DUDE!
Sorry, I was getting this flag ironed. Anyways, the general is right over there
So you are the retarded general of this gay army?
No, the guy that my horse is pointing to!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sometimes I wish that inserting this nail into my skull actually killed me...

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Here is your general
I cannot fucking believe you are the general!
HELLO THERE MISTER, WHAT IS YOUR NAME? WHAT DO YOU WANT MISTER MISTER?
Dan, why the hell are you general of this army?
WHO IS DAN? IS HE THE GUY ON THE OATMEAL BOX! LOLOLOLOL!
...You've become stupider than possible
WHAT? IS THAT FUNNY OR WHAT? YOU MISTER MAN PERSON! LOL! LOL! LMAO!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Woah uncle kool-aid, this linkin park concert sucks ass
You sure are correct sir
I mean, look at that mosh pit. What the hell?
Holy shizzle
Yo yo yo, uh, yeah, yep, high five!
Belly slam jump kick blah blah hug hug hug

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Hi, I am a nerd with a gay shirt
And I'm a whore, and now you shall learn how to say flume!
Just give it some gusto!
And pronounce it clearly, like Fl ooooo meh. Try it out!
Flumdum? Frumdum? Friend, help me out here!
Sorry, I was mentally undressing you and pretending to penatrate your anus...what did you say?

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Death is funny
I have to die? Are you su...
Uh...that's actually all I wanted to kill...now what the hell do I do? It isnt like there is no one around to just randomly kill these days? Argh!
Ahhh...come to daddy
Remember me? The Skinner?

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Back to the fuckholes
No, Ralph Nader is not a worthy president!
STOP TALKING OUT OF YOUR ASS NEW FRIEND! LOL!
Wait a second...new best friend? That's not....
HEY, WHO IS THAT UGLY PERSON BEHIND YOU NEW FRIEND LOL
WOAH FRED MY BESTEST FRIEND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THIS PLACE HUH FRED HUH HUH BESTEST FRIEND OF ALL!
I'm gonna go slit my wrists now okay?

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
The thumbs find themselves in a socially fun NICK NICK
WOAH MISTER, YOU LOOK LIKE ME IN A LOT OF WAYS WOAH MISTER MISTER OH MY GOD WOAH!
OMG LOL WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THAT HAPPENSINGS OF THAT PROBLEM LOL OLOL@iobN
HOLY CRUDSICLE NESTICLE PLOPPER, YOU HAVE THE COOLEST LOOKING EYE BALLS EVER IMAGINABLE MISTER PISSER MISER!
YOU ARE COOLER THAN I OLOl!o!lo!LOLOMAO LMAO !
I thought life was supposed to be survival of the sane?
Like that's ever true

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
When you think about it, what the hell is up with Ralph?
Boy, this graveyard sure is creepy at night. Hope I don't run into any ghoulie whoulie phoulies!
AHHH, WHO ARE YOU?
I am the zombie of hellllllll
No seriously, who are you, you look like bill gates with a fish
You don't have to rub it in!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Okay then, if you are so tough, what are you gonna do to me? EH?
WATCH THIS!!!!!
Oh god...
PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS
Effective...
Oh, it isnt that hard...

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
What plan does Ralph have now?
Hmmm, it seems that I could use the same tactic to turn her into a pussy skeleton!
I dunno if I'm a girl or a guy, hehe
PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS
Aw shit
Silly skeleton! MWAHAHAHAH BLARGH!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Satan has taken Ralph into the depths of HELL!
So this is hell eh satan? Looks pretty clean
Well I try
What do you want filthy demon?
Just wanted to tell you that the torture has arrived
Oh my eternal hellflame (well I can't say god, now can I?)
NO! NOT BOB SAGET!
Why hello there...hey, you look a little BONEY TODAY! HAHAHAHAHA!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Well, Fred and the two thumbs have walked out, and Fred still wants his scientist suit
We are on a quest, a quest for the suuuuit!
WOW BESTEST FRIEND, YOU ARE THE BESTEST SINGER EVER IN THE BESTEST WORLD EVER OH MY GARSH!
Will you shut up General!
I AM NOT GENERAL BESTEST FRIEND, GENERAL IS OVER THERE BESTEST FRIEND OF NEVERLAND!
SO THEN I FOUND A NICKEL AND IT SAID I WAS GOD AND I SAID NO AND THE NICKEL WAS MAD AND ATE MY FRIEND SO I CRIED FOR 3 SECONDS AND LAUGHED LOL!
How intriguing. Tell me again what it is like to be as gay as you are?

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
STOP YOU ARE HURTING ME DEARLY ARGH!!!
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE ARGH!!!!!!!!! F....u...c....oogh
Uh...Dan...that guy over there looks dead
I WAS JUST SINGING LALALALALALALALALALALALA HEHE BESTEST FRIEND!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
So the cops come to save the day!
STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!
I think...
Fellow cop, why do you never ever ever ever help me you bastard!
Huh? Oh sorry, I was...
No, I was wrong I guess
OKAY OKAY, YOU WERE MENTALLY UNDRESSING ME YOU GAY COPPER! GAH!
Actually, I was contemplating the mysteries of life.........perv

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Are you gonna chase those murderers cops?
YOU are calling ME a PERV? Are you kidding?
Well, quite frankly, I'm tired of your perverted acts
Are you even gonna attempt to care?
You are the one mentally undressing me every time we try to stop crime!
Pish posh, my good man. You are the one that is looking at my package all day long, I can tell
*sigh*
*coughTheGreatGatsbyRobberycough*
Oh yeah.....that....

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-06-02
Hey guys, I hear screaming in the distance
Your tom-foolery has gone on long enough. You are fired from this job!
You can't fire me! I am the one that employed you!
Shouldn't you go...ah whatever, I'm gonna go see what Fred and Dan and the thumb are doing
That is true...but I could clobber you and throw you out to sea!
But then I'd hafta arrest you dumbass
Wow, murdering sure is fun! Say, can I...
No beer uncle kool-aid

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-07-02
So we watch these fugitives on the run
I cannot believe you killed that blue drop guy
LOL HE WAS PISSING ME OFF TO DEATH LOL
Wonderful...¬_¬
Do you even have any feelings at all? Murder is rather harsh general!
HEY I'M A THUMB, WHAT DO YOU WANT, A MIDDLE FINGER LOL LOL MY JOKE IS FUNNY I WISH I COULD WRITE IT DOWN BUT I HAVE NO ARMS LOLOLOLOl
Where should we go now? They are sure to catch us sooner or later!
HEY MISTER NARRATOR HOW DID YOU MAKE THAT FACE OMG LOL THAT WAS KEWL LOL!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-07-02
DISTRESS
Ah fuck, someone is coming! No doubt the murder is all over the news, so he will recognize us! Hide!
OK SMELLY LOL! LOL! LOL! FRIENDLY POO!
IDIOCY
I seem to have misplaced my pantaloons.
MAYBE THE GUY GENERAL MURDERED THAT HAPPENS TO BE HIDING OVER THERE HAS THEM MISTER!
ATTEMPTED SUICIDE
Cmon nail, go further!
DAN IS GETTING ON MY NERVES LOL

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-07-02
Uh oh! Trouble!!!1!!!!11
THERE YOU ARE!!!
PLEASE, SPARE US!!!
TELL ME THIS RIGHT NOW....
DON'T TELL THE POL...
Have you seen my pants anywhere? I misplaced them!
Urge to stick hammer into your gay boxers and twist hammer violently rising...

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-07-02
Cmon you asshole, where did you take my pants?
You moron, I don't have your fucking pants!
Yes you do, don't try to hide them!
Why the fuck would I have your pants anyhow?
You look like a suspicious type
I DON'T EVEN WEAR PANTS DUMBASS!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-07-02
I mean really, why do you think that I would have your pants?
Well that thumb guy over there told me
SO YOU ARE REALLY JESUS EH? YOU LOOK FAT!
Hey, it isnt easy being crucified you numbskull!
Alright? Will you leave me be now?
Fair enough

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-08-02
Our morons walk
Hey Dan, where did that puny general go?
I WOULDNT BE SURE ON MANY LEVELS BESTEST FRIEND OF ALL FRIENDS THAT MAKE ME NUMERO UNO NESS!
We oughta find him I say, he could have something to do with the plot
BUT IF HE IS PART OF THE PLOT, THEN HE SHOULD BE AWAY FROM US IN ORDER TO ADVANCE THE PLOT ALONG TO KEEP THE STORYLINE EXCITING AND FRESH BESTEST FRIEND!
I hate you
HAHA YOU SOUND LIKE MY UNCLE JOE!!!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-08-02
Dum de dum dum
Excuse me sir, have you seen a thumb walk by perchance?
No, why?
OH MY GOD YOU ARE THE GUY FROM PENNY ARCADE! WOW!
You sound like all the rest
I will commit suicide in your honor...IF THIS NAIL IN HEAD EVER WORKED!

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-08-02
Yarr
Okay, you said something about a thumb?
YOU ARE MY ROLE MODEL! HOLY SHPLATH!
Will you shut up? I'm not...
I mean, I have posters of you all over my room for god's sake!
Oh jesus...
I made a poem about you: Gabe you are god, you make me shine, I have yet to see a penis as big as mine...that didnt work well

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-09-02
The background creator machine is broken...bare with us
Uh, person, I have something important to tell you
I havent given you all my money yet! Hold on!
Wait...DID YOU SAY MONEY?
Of course! I love to give my idols money
This could work out quite nicely
Should I give you all 20 of my hamsters too?

 

by Semprini_Goat
10-09-02
What's going on with that Dan person
Hello Mr...Thumb, I am a salesman
YOUR FACE IS FUNNY TO LOOK AT YOU ARE MY HERO!
I am selling an amazing product that will interest you in many ways
I WILL TAKE IT YOU SEXY LIZARD MAN! COME TOUCH MY TOP!
OKAY OKAY, THIS WAS A BAD IDEA AHHHHH!
That top is kinda slimy...but I am aroused
YOU ARE HOT, LET'S GO SEX EACH OTHER!

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