All comics by Sephiroth84

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by Sephiroth84
7-29-02
Look, kids! There's Butch! What's Butch going to teach us, today? It looks as though he's in a SCAAAAARY graveyard.
Please don't involve necrophilia... Please don't involve necrophilia.
Why's Butch in a spooky graveyard, for? He's going to teach about death. Specifically... SUICIDE. Isn't that right, Butch?
Eh...? I didn't agree to that!
Now, kids... suicide is BAD. It's when you kill yourself, because of the fact that you've realized how worthless you are. Now, Butch isn't going to kill himself... that's why we're going to do it!
One gunshot and 43 stabwounds later, Butch is now experiencing the afterlife... IN HELL. You see, when you commit suicide, that's where you go. So, kids... say "NO" to suicide! Hehe... poor Butch.
Jesus Christ... not the Word paperclip!?
Hey, there! Microsoft designed me to randomly pop-up and annoy the fuck out of you! MUHAHAHAHA!!

 

by Sephiroth84
7-29-02
Hey, Kids! Butch has been very naughty! He was caught with over a kilogram of cocaine, in the boot of his car, and now he's been sent to prison!
NOTE: In no way did we plant the drugs on him so we could be entertained by his antics in prison. NO. WAY. AT. ALL. Stop looking at me, like that... He was always a drug pusher. I swear!
Butch isn't very talkative today... but Butch already seems popular in his first day, here! He's already made friends! Why, just a while ago, he helped someone pick up their soap in the showers!
His newly-found friend thanked him in a way he'd never experienced, before! One good turn deserves another, eh, Butch?
I wish I were dead...

 

by Sephiroth84
7-29-02
Location: Some underground comedy club... possibly in Glasgow.
*Phew* Boy, am I hungry! I haven't eaten since I died, 20 years ago!
... *cough*
Fuck you ALL! You know that shit's funny!
GET OFF THE FUCKING STAGE!

 

by Sephiroth84
7-29-02
Damnit...
*Ring* *Ring*... *Ring* *Ring*
...
*Ring* *Ring*... *Ring* *Ring*
COULD SOMEONE GET THE FRICKIN' PHONE!?
*Ring* *Ring*... *Ring* *Ring*

 

by Sephiroth84
7-29-02
Hi, little girl! I'll tell you what... I'll give you six packets of Skittles, if you come with me.
...
Give me $500 for sexual services, and I'll let you come in my mouth, instead.
Forget it...
Okay, but it's your loss!

 

by Sephiroth84
7-29-02
Hi, Butch! Butch is in a city being destroyed by various oversized and stupidly named creatures! Isn't that right, Butch?
Why me...?
I could've done horror movies that had countless sequels, each getting lamer and lamer, in their own respective rights.
FIRE BREATH!
Ooops! Silly Butch! Tune in again next time, kids!
Please, kill me...
ROOOOOOOAR!!!! FEEL INTIMADATED... and shit.

 

by Sephiroth84
7-29-02
Look... I don't think this relationship is working out, Michael. You're just impossible to talk to, nowadays.
But i 0\/\/n joo!1!
I'm leaving you. I'll stay if you ask me to. All you have to do, is ask-
Stfu!1
Bye, Michael. Don't bother calling me.
fag!!11 LOlOLOlololoL

 

by Sephiroth84
7-29-02
Whilst Butch was in hell...
Do you wish to save your changes? Do you wish to save your changes? Do you wish to save your changes?
20 mind-numbingly annoying hours later...
Do you wish to save your changes? Do you wish to save your changes? Do you wish to save your changes?
That silly Butch! *Sigh* Will he EVER learn?
C'MERE!
Oh shit!

 

by Sephiroth84
7-29-02
Geez... does the bus ALWAYS take this long?
Don't mind me. I'm only nailed up here, DYING FOR YOUR SINS!
Loony...

 

by Sephiroth84
7-29-02
Argh... this is crap. Better change the channel...
But Irene, you can't marry your brother! He's a 6 foot lizard!
Wait... I can't. Oh, well... I guess I can stick this...
It's not as easy as that, Keith... I'M CARRYING HIS BABIES!
Hoho... YOU GO, GIRL!
... Aren't lizards non-mammals!?

 

by Sephiroth84
7-29-02
Thanks for visiting me, Death. It gets so lonely out here, sometimes...
IT'S NO PROBLEM. I NEEDED SOME FRESH AIR, ANYHOW.
Hey! Now that you're here, we can play that fun guessing game thing. Okay... what am I?
...
Damnit... I'M A TREE! Isn't it obvious!?
YOU TRULY ARE SUPERIOR AT THIS DELIGHTFUL GAME, SIR.

 

by Sephiroth84
7-29-02
Go on... Your turn, Death.
OH... OKAY, THEN. GUESS WHAT I AM?
...
...
The end of life? The collector of souls? The reaper of spirits?
BRILLIANCE AS USUAL, SIR.

 

by Sephiroth84
7-30-02
Okay... let's make conversation.
OKAY...
So... umm... you like... stuff?
SOMETIMES.
...

 

by Sephiroth84
7-30-02
Derek... I've got a problem.
What is it, Brandon?
Well... lately, I've been thinking of killing myself. Ever since I was made redudant, I just feel as though nobody listens to me. I bought this hammer and nail from the hardware store to do the job.
Uh huh.
EVEN YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! I HOPE YOU CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT AFTER YOU WASH MY BLOOD OFF YOUR HANDS, YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!
Sure thing.

 

by Sephiroth84
7-31-02
Simon... you've really go to stop. If not for your sake, then, at least for the sake of your loved ones. Just admit that you have a problem.
I haven't got a problem! And if my best friend doesn't believe me, then who will?
I BET YOU\'RE A JEW, AREN'T YA!? YEEEEAH... AND I BET YOU WEAR ONE OF THESE FUNNY LITTLE HATS, TOO, HUH!?
...!?!
This whole Jewish accusation addiction thing just has to stop, Simon.
Okay... maybe I do have a problem.

 

by Sephiroth84
7-31-02
Hello, everyone. My name's Simon, and... and... and I randomly accuse people of being Jewish, for no reason.
Hi, Simon!
Welcome to the group, Simon. I'm Pete. All of us here, are trying our best to pull through this tough time in our lives, so you won't be alone in the struggle.
Thanks.
Hey there, Simon. I'm - ARE YOU JEWISH!? DAMN... I KNOW YOU ARE! DON'T TRY AND DENY IT!
ENOUGH!

 

by Sephiroth84
7-31-02
STOP! STOP!
ME Jewish!? You're Jewish, just to look at! If you were any more Jewish, you'd be the Jewishiest person in Jewland!
"Jewishiest person in Jewland"!? Ha! That's pretty funny for a JEWISH JOKE!
STOP, GOD DAMNIT!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!! You're BOTH JEWS!
Did the kettle call the pot JEWISH!?

 

by Sephiroth84
7-31-02
Fuck. Who invited another Jew into this conversation?
WHO ARE YOU CALLING JEWISH? HUH?
Excuse me, but I am actually Jewish.
......
You mean... they really DO exist?

 

by Sephiroth84
7-31-02
Cal... I'd just like to thank you for all the support and the help you've offered me. I'm finally free of accusing people of being Jewish.
That's great! I'm really glad I could help. So, what made you stop?
Well, I met this Jewish guy in the meeting, and he seemed pretty cool. He was nothing like I expected a Jewish person to be.
See? They're just people, like you and I. I'm glad you've recovered, Simon.
Yeah, same here. I'm really grateful. Anyway, I better go. We're all going down the pub with that Jewish guy. He's really cool. Actually... you wanna come with me?
Sure! I have nothing else to do.

 

by Sephiroth84
7-31-02
You don't know the half of it, Cal. I'm finally cured.
It must be good to feel that you won't have that horrible urge again, eh?
...!?!
Hey, you! YEAH... I BET YOU'RE A HOMOSEXUAL, AND THAT YOU WEAR ONE OF THOSE DRESSES, AND HAVE SOME NAME LIKE 'MISTRESS REBECCA' ON SATURDAYS!!
DON'T BOTHER DENYING IT!
.....

 

by Sephiroth84
7-31-02
Look... Death... you've been here for a while now... don't you think you should be getting back to work?
OH, DON'T WORRY. THERE'S ALWAYS TIME.
What about the people who are dying?
WELL... I SUPPOSE YOU\'RE RIGHT.
Later...
It's about fucking time! I've been like this for at least 3 days!
YOU WERE? OH... I'LL BUY YOU A CURRY ON THE WAY, AS COMPENSATION.

 

by Sephiroth84
8-01-02
Why even bother making the joke? The fact that I'm standing drunkenly next to a goat in an open field, with no-one around, should be funny in purely the anticipation.
*Phew*

 

by Sephiroth84
8-01-02
There's Butch, kids! Wave to him! Butch is in the hospital. After he was cleared of all charges with the possession of cocaine, he decided to visit his doctor, Dr. Morrison......
I'm sorry to inform you... but after being molested in prison, you now have... AIDS... I'm so sorry.
I... I...
Hahaha. Dr. Morrison is renowned for his jokes, and he had Butch for a moment!
BWAHAHAHA!!!... Just kidding! Seriously, though, you have Anal herpes.

 

by Sephiroth84
6-03-06
HE WAS PUT BEHIND BARS FOR A CRIME HE DIDN'T COMMIT...
This is ridiculous! I'm innocent!!!
THE POLICE NEEDED A SCAPEGOAT...
This man clearly died of lung cancer!
'SMOKEY ISN'T THE BANDIT!' A STORY ABOUT ONE CIGARETTES STRUGGLE AGAINST THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES JUDICIAL SYSTEM AND THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH! IN THEATERS IN AUTUMN.
Starring Steve Guttenburg, Chevy Chase and Adam Sandler as Smokey the Cigarette.
Cameo appearance from Burt Reynolds and some old played back footage of Bob Hope's last moments.

 

by Sephiroth84
6-03-06
Look Christian I just can't do this anymore.
You never give me any attention you're always too busy playing with your balls.
I'm sorry. It's over.
She'll never could understand my love for Jesus.

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