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| And in other news, Justin Bieber's killer is in London today to be knighted by the Queen. | |
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| That's not surprising, Hank, he's a real hero. | |
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| Our sources tell us that Justin's parents paid the killer $1,000,000 to show their undying gratitude. | |
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| Which, the killer says he plans to use to take down the Church of Scientology. | |
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| This just in, Justin Bieber's killer has been tragically mauled to death by a horde of grieving Bieber fans. What a shame... | |
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| Remember folks, "Bieber-Fever" is a serious affliction, consult your doctor the minute you start to feel symptoms. | |
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