All comics by Smokehouse

 

by Smokehouse
10-11-03
Behind the scenes at Rantmedia
Hey Sean, I really need to talk to you about the show. I've been e-mailing you for weeks.
I Know Smokey. I'm sorry, guy. It's just that this new diet is fuckin' killing me!
Anyway, I was thinking...
I had this really dope idea! I want to do a segment on the healing power of creme filling. You know, how twinkies cure cancer and shit! And my next guest is a guy who cloned a 6-cocked starfish!
...Yeah but...!
It's going to be FUCKING RAD, bro! I'm glad we had this talk, but I gotta run. Say, do you have any moon pies in that briefcase, there?

 

by Smokehouse
10-14-03
Deep in the bowels of Smokehouse's studio...
Man, These "Sean's So Fat" jokes really tear 'em up in the IRC. I'm a comedic genius!
Sean is so fat...
??!!
...that he was the stunt double for the Sta-Puft marshmallow man! Ha ha! Yeah, I rule!
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

 

by Smokehouse
10-15-03
Another long night for Smokehouse...
Record labels, DJ's, web updates, IRC! God damn it! I need a vacation!
I swear, I think Cimmerian is trying to give me a nervous breakdown!
Less mouth, more work!
Hey vegan! Why don't you shaddup before I throw one of Sean's shirts over you and turn you into a pup tent?

 

by Smokehouse
10-16-03
Smokehouse: Man of the People.
Hey, Smokey...
No, Mick.
You don't even know what I was going to ask you!
1. I don't care who you're mad at today, 2. You can't have the night off, and 3... You can't fucking quit. Go away.
I fucking hate you.
Yes! The status quo is maintained!

 

by Smokehouse
10-17-03
A hungry Smokehouse visits Don Harris at his day job:
Hey there, Smokehouse. Welcome to McDonald's. What can I get ya?
How's it goin', Don? I'll have a quarter pounder with cheese, french fries and a Coke.
You could have just said 'Number 4', you know. Thats what it is, a NUMBER FUCKING *FOUR*!
Uh, sorry, dude. I'll have a number four, then.
You know, man, I don't even know why they call them quarter pounders! I mean they weigh much less than that! Plus, the fries don't really come from France! It's a load of shit! ...And another thing...
That's it, keep talking, jerky. Another minute and I eat for free.

 

by Smokehouse
10-17-03
Hey, Smokey.
Can you chew quieter, Sean? I'm trying to concentrate.
Shut up and listen, Gimpy. I've decided to take your advice and change my wardrobe for the show.
Really? That's awesome, dude. Show me what ya got.
10 Minutes later...
Pretty bad ass, eh, guy?
Lord, give me the strength to endure that which I do not understand.

 

by Smokehouse
10-19-03
"....Here's one of Mom at the Grand Canyon..."
"...And a great shot of Mom and Dad when we took our trip to Washington DC..."
...Oh...and this one here...
God damn, I hate it when Cimm busts out the family photos.

 

by Smokehouse
11-06-03
Pressure can be a motherfucker...
Smokey's right, I'm wrong...Smokey's right I'm wrong...Smokey's right...I'm wrong...
Smokey's right, I'm wrong...Oh No...it's happening again...!
How many limbs should I cut off...How many limbs should I cut off...How many limbs should I cut off...How many limbs should I cut off...?

 

by Smokehouse
11-06-03
Reverse angle action, just like a DVD, baby!
What in the bloody hell are you doing, dude?
I'm gonna fuckin' kill you, Smokey, you know-it-all crippled bastard! I will be free of your tyranny!
Shut up. Sean. You won't either. I can prove it!
Oh really? What makes you so sure, Gimpy?
Look...Sean...A MOON PIE. Plenty more where that came from, buds!
Damn! Stop gloating and get me a glass of milk and some napkins!

 

by Smokehouse
11-25-04
Brotherhood. It has it's downsides...
Thats it Sean! I'm sick of your crap. I'm gonna kick your monkey ass!
Piss off, Smokey! I never gave you permission to talk to me!
PERMISSION?? You pompous sack of goo! If It wasn't for me, you wouldn't even know where you LIVE, Einstein!
Oh yeah?! Well, at least I CAN PUT MY OWN SHOES ON, 'Christopher Reeve'!
...Such as entertaining vegans.
...Hey, Tubby! Here's an idea: How about you write a HORROR NOVEL about the day you had a MOON PIE jammed up your ass!?
...It's nice to see them getting along again.

 

by Smokehouse
12-16-04
Why doesn't anybody know MY e-mail address?
What did you call me in here for, Smokey? Are you going to mock me again? Tell me I'm fat? What?
Sean?
What??!!
..I like you, bro.
Fag.

 

by Smokehouse
5-14-06
Hey Smokey. What's up?
Jesus Christ, Mark. Get a haircut before I stab you in the eye.
Seriously, dude...I know you've been complaining that Sean never answers your e-mails. I have something that will help you with the problem!
Really? Whassat?
"The Sean-Bot 4000!"
Wog-wog-wog..dope..fucker...don't listen to me, I suck...wog wog wog..
Woah! Full vocabulary and everything! Kick ass!

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