All comics by TheDaveFanclub

Profile

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-20-05
Oh my next little "friend"
Why are you looking at me like that?
I was just admiring you hair !?!
Alright!!!
Smooth
FREAK!!!!!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-20-05
Based on a True Story
Hey! You should have seen what i just did!
What crooked shit are you up to now?
I Hate Pigs
You remember those B and E guys we raided
Yeah, i remember those guys! We didn't get any evidence searching thier house did we?
FUCKING DIE ASSHOLES
No, but i stole thier bongs! Wanna go test them out?
Hell yeah!!! You know were gonna go to hell for this!!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-20-05
Are you done of the search yet?
Yeah... we are done but we found no evidence on the Break and Enter so we are taking you bongs!
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THAT! WHY I SHOULD JUST...
AAAHHHHHHH
Oh i wish i really had mind powers
Why are you staring at me like that?

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-20-05
Oh no reason... Just trying to accept my loss!
Well deal with it!!! I have no sympathy for stoners!
Yeah, don't fuck around with me! I know you pigs test out our shit in private!
You stop with talk like that now or i'll take you in!
I know the truth Assholes!
He knows too much!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-20-05
Oh yeah... I forgot to mention... We also found a Kilo of Marijuana behind the Sofa! You're gonna have to come with me!
WHAT!!!! If i had a kilo i would have smoked it by now! and why did you only mention that after i asked about the bongs?
Oh, shit how do i get outta this one?
Well, are you gonna answer me PIG?
Thats it you comin with me For Assaulting and Officer!
Fuck of tool! Im going inside!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-20-05
Thank god i got rid of that Pig! Fucker took my Bongs though!!!
I cant believe i'll never get to see my friends again! Clifford, The Blue Bulger, all the boys are gone!!!
Enter Jesus, The Roommate
I think this is the worst day ever!!!
It'll be alright, they forgot the "lamp"!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-20-05
Come on Jesus, i mean sure they left the lamp but... CLIFFORD! He was so young and he never hurt anyone... This is the end of the world!!!!
Quit being so melodramatic... Its only a bong!
What do you mean quit being so melodramatic? You don't understand... Blue Bulger was broken and you got some time with it... Clifford was just a baby!
I know how you feel! But get rid of the drama and this apocolypse Bachground is drivin' nuts!!!!
Way to burst my Dramatic Speech Assclown! I could have won an Emmy or some shit!!
I don't think the academy is big on Stoner drama... Good try though!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-20-05
Flashback: Week of Aug 26 - Aug 31
Happy birthday man! What do you wanna do to celebrate?
I don't know... Im sure well thinkl of something! How much you got anywayz... I got $700!!!
I got $450! That should be enough to keep us partying for a few days...
Hopefully, lets go over and see Butler!
Jump to 5 days later
Where the hell are we and What have we done for the last 5 days?
Not a clue but im poor as hell now... Ah fuck it we musta had fun!!!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-20-05
Seriously dude! Do you have any clue what we did or where our money went?
I remember Goin over to Butlers and spending $180 but after that its all a blur!
HA, a clue! Here is some ground Percocet on the back of my card... Well, i'm not as curious on how we spent all that cash now!!!
Yeah, once you get that Poor man's Coke in ya there ain't no tellin' what you'll do!
Yeah, but i was talkin to Kenny and he said we were only on Perc's for a night! What about the other 4 days!!!
One of the great mysteries of life my friend... Like "How do they put caramilk in the caramilk bar?" or "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?"

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-20-05
Back at The Apartment
So i was talkin to John MC and he said he was partying here with us on the third night! He said it was sweet as hell and there was alot of stuff floatin around!
I knew we had fun! Damn i wish i could remember it!
I know! He said i passed out but never missed a toke! Pretty Sweet eh!
That's awesome, did he say how many people were here?
Yeah, he said there were about 20 - 30 people here that night!
Really, you figure we'd be able to find out more than how much you smoked then huh?!?

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-20-05
Dammit! I've been askin everyone around for days what happened!
You find anything new out?
Not a thing! Except for Lucas was here and he passed out in the bathroom from your bong!
That's awesome! Duh Duh Duh ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST...
You are so stunned! Wanna just say fuck finding out what happened and just accept that we will never remember!
...And another goes, and another one goes! ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST! Sorry, you saying something?

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-21-05
Hey man... Who are you talkin to?
Did you just see that penguin?
Are you goin on about that fuckin penguin again! I told you he doesn't exist! I'm goin to my room to get high! I can't listen to your stunned shit right now!
Alright guy!
All he's gotta do is read Roomies and then he'd see! I'm not crazy!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-21-05
I can't believe he thinks i'm lying about the penguin! Ever since the day he told me to smoke all his pot he never liked in the penguin!
Flashback to that day...
Hey guy! He left all that pot just sittin on the coffee table! He wouldn't mind if we had a bong!
No penguin That's wrong! That's Dave's pot he paid for it, i couldn't smoke any of it!
15 minutes later
Hey dude! You know where my pot went? I had like 4 grams on the coffee table and there is like 3 bongs left!
You see, there was this Penguin...

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-21-05
Come on Dude! You gotta let the Penguin thing go... It's over!
Yeah, i guess so...
AAAAHHHH I NEED HELP! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?
Get your penguin friend to save you ASSHOLE!
You know your mind powers still dont work so quit staring!
One of these days you mindless fucker!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-21-05
In an alley down the road...
Hey dealer man! What are you saying?
I'm saying a bit... Why? Are you looking?
Yeah, My stunned ass roommate just smoked my last shit... You got something good
I got this shit... I promise you he won't be able to walk long enough to steal your weed!
Sounds good to me! Give me an eigth!
Awesome that'll be $40!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-21-05
Yeah! My roommate will hopefully be crippled good enough to forget about that for fucking penguin for a little while!
WHAT!!! You live with that stunned fucker Jesus!
Yeah! So what...
Tell that fucker that he payed for his last gram with Monoply money!!!
Yeah, that sounds like him! You can't really call him stunned since you were dumb enough to take the monoply money!
Alright listen! Just take the shit and go! Thank you for shopping back alley stoners!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-21-05
Hey! I just went to the dealer man and he gave me this sweet shit!
Sounds good! You get much?
Yeah, i got an eigth so lets spark up!
Awesome!
Goddammit I'll never escape that penguin as long as I live!
Man this shit is great!! I'm gonna go tell the penguin about it right now!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-21-05
Not sure... Hey think i could get another bong?
So Brian, How long are you planning on staying?
I guess so! Why you got a problem with that cuz the penguin said it was cool!
So let me get this straight! You plan on staying on our couch, eating our food and smoking our weed?
Sounds about right to me! So how about that bong now!
Great! NOW I GOT TWO RETARDS WHO DON'T PAY SHIT AND SEE FUCKING INVISIBLE PENGUINS!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-21-05
Man this is some kick ass pot! If any of this goes missing i'm killing the penguin!
You wouldn't do that! You'd get arrested!!!
COps don't care about invisible, imaginary penguins!!
Yeah, i bet your right!
Meanwhile, in the evidence locker
Holy fuck this bongs hits hard! I'm glad we stole it from that Dave fella!
Teach that dick to tell everyone i'm not real!!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-21-05
I think i'm tweekin out bad man! All i see is dead bodies and shit!
Yeah man! This pot is sweet! Hey look at that dude, he got his leg blown off!
Holy fuck dude this is crazy! I'm freakin out man!
Don't worry bout it! It's all in your head!
Maybe your right. I'm must just be seeing shit because of this weed!
Have fun figuring that out! I'm leaving before those Bombs get here!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-21-05
Hey Jesus... Where are you dude? I'm lost and alone!!!
I could help ya!
Who is that?
Do ya really wanna know?
Yes... JUST SHOW YOUSELF!!!!
if you say so!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-21-05
Alright, who is it?
It's me... your conscience!!!!
Does that mean i'm dead?
No, just really fucked up right now!
Oh, well that's cool! Atleast i'm still not seeing penguins!
Oh, give it time!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-21-05
So, how the fuck do i get outta here?
Not sure exactly!
What's the good of you then?
I was wondering that myself!
Well, your really usefull!
I aim to please!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-21-05
So you have no use to me then!
Afraid not!
Then why in the fuck are you here?
Not sure, I'm in your subconscience so you brought me here dumbass!
Oh, get the fuck outta here then!
Cool with me, Peace out and have fun escaping your mind!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-21-05
Now how the fuck do i get outta here?
We don't want any!
What in the hell was that?
I'm freakin out man!
Sounds like Jesus... I'll just follow his voice and be free!
Hey! i found one of those Hippy guys! Lets beat him and take his drugs!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-21-05
Man you should have seen the crazy shit i just went through!
Oh, yeah! Trust me you have no idea on crazy shit!
YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO TRY TO OUTDUE ME! BURN BITCH!!
Wow, you almost had me that time!
Eat Shit!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-25-05
Hey man whats up?
What the fuck?!? Your not Brian! Where did he go?
I don't fuckin know... I'm Tyler, I'm here to sleep on your couch, eat your food and play the PS2 too!
I see... so whats the difference?
I don't smoke pot so what you got is yours!!!
SWEET!!! you stay as long as you want!!!!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-25-05
10 minutes and 8 bongs later
How many times do i got to tell you NO!
Come on man... just smoke one! Its not as fun gettin baked alone!!!
3 minutes and 5 bongs later
I'm serious man! I don't want any!
Come on... One bong never killed anyone ( I hope! )
GODDAMMIT MAN STOP PRESSURING ME!!!!!
I'm sorta startin to miss the old couch guy!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-25-05
You there Dave Man?
Who's Dave man? It is only I... THE GREAT COUCH GUY!!!!
Dave, one of the dude's that live here!!! Who the FUCK is couch guy?
COUCH GUY RULES ALL!!! BOW DOWN AND BRING ME FOOD AND SMOKES!!!!
Something stupid everytime i try to visit!
Godammit, Tyler! Do you have to do that to everyone that comes here?!?

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-25-05
Fuck this noise... I'm leaving!
Whoa hold up... It's just Tyler! He's livin on our couch now!
I see! What happened to Brian?
To be completely honest I'm not sure!
Oh, Where is Jesus then? I haven't talked to him for like 2 days!!! Why are you looking at me like that?
I think i smoked too much!!!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-25-05
Kenny sober : Sings alot and bounces off walls
I FEEL GOOD!!! (NA NA NA NA NA) I KNEW THAT I WOULD!!! I FEEL GOOD (heh)!!!!
Kenny stoned : Sings alot and bounces off walls still but not as much
I FEEL GOOD!!! (NA NA NA NA NA) I KNEW THAT I WOULD!!! Oh fuck it!
Kenny drunk : A little different
SHOW ME YOUR TITS!!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-25-05
Dude, you'll never guess what i just seen!
Let me guess, Kenny is death... yeah been there, done that!!!
How did you know what i was gonna say?
You see there was this penguin...
GODDAMMIT YOUR NOT WORTH THE TIME!!!!
I knew that would make him shut up!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-25-05
Hey couch guy! You know where the Steaks went? and where is the rest of my milk?
I ate them! Drank that too!
GO TO HELL YOU BASTARD!!!!! ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS EAT SUPPER!
AAAHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
One of these days that'll work!
See, Jesus warned me about that!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-25-05
Man this Metal Gear Solid 3 is sweet as hell!
Yeah, they have been beating on him for like 20 minutes!
I know its so graphic and senseless!
Yeah, you wanna know what makes it so much better... some BONGS!
Listen Dave, I will never smoke pot with you, understand! Just quit this shit now!!!
Man, you suck as a couch guy!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-25-05
Dude, i wish my girlfriend was here!
What, someone actually talks to your stunned ass?!?
Yeah, you remember! You met her a few times next door!
Dude, Chad is dating Morgan! Don't try to pull that bullshit on me!
No, you tool not Morgan! but you did meet her next door!
Man, I don't think Cory would appreciate you spreadin shit like that!!!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-25-05
Hey dude, i got this new shit off of a hippie! wanna try?
Sure, smoke is smoke I guess!
A few bongs later
Dude, this ain't the normal stoner spot!
I know! It sorta makes me feel... Happy!
Dude, i need to get outta here before i snap!
Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows...

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-25-05
Man, this shit from the hippie is sweet! I'll stick it in my pocket and save some for later
YOINK!!!
Hey, where did my pot go?
Peace out, sucker!
After frantically searching through pockets...
Hey, Do you know where my weed went?
Why do you even ask... You see the penguin was behind you and....

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-25-05
Hey Kenny, Haven't seen you in a while!
Yeah, it's because of all the stunned fuckers you live with! Do you know anything about some government rabbits or someshit like that?
No... are you feeling OK dude?
No man, i didn't make it up... It was that stunned fuck Jesus!
Sounds good! Next thing your gonna try to tell me it was a penguin!!!
What the hell is the fucker rambling about?

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-28-05
Dude, I can't believe they fucking made me come work!
Yeah i know... Life's a bitch!
I mean, I've been up for the last 32 hours and i still have to work a 9 hour shift before i can get some sleep!
What can i say Man? Maybe if you call in dead you can get outta work! They can't make a dead guy work!!!
How in the fuck am i gonna call in DEAD?!? Are you brain dead?
Don't worry about it... Just leave it all to me and the penguin!!!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
1-28-05
All right! What is the plan, Oh great and wise Jesus?
I'm not sure yet... First some inspiration!
Hello Tech Support. Dave won't be able to work tonite! He slipped and fell down the stairs into a pile of broken beer bottles! OK, that's great! BYE!!!
I can't believe that shit actually worked!
Hey guys! What's up?
Holy fuck Jesus... I think our plan worked TOO well!!!

 

by TheDaveFanclub
2-01-05
Well, now I got 3 days off of work! What am i gonna do now?
Play some GTA!
The next day
Wow, this was fun but now i only got 2 days left off... I gotta do something good for that!
... and at the end of the 2 days
Wow, I can't believe i spent the last 3 days doing nothing but playing GTA and I still haven't beat it!!!
Yeah, Welcome to the world of a "Couch Guy!"

 

by TheDaveFanclub
2-01-05
Hello, any one there? It's me Ashton!
What?!? We don't want any!!!!
You know... Ashton! Is that you Jesus?
Why? Who's asking?
I told you already... It's me Ashton!!! I met you next door! I'm goin out with Dave!
I guess you can come in! But I can't promise your safety!!! Couch guy has been getting a little lonely and...

 

by TheDaveFanclub
2-01-05
Well, that was awesome that you came and visited on my day off!
Yeah, and its amazing! You haven't smoked any pot the whole time i was here!
Yeah, i'm pretty proud of myself! I normally can't stop smoking! I gotta tell Jesus about this!
I noticed... It's really nice to see you trying! Well, i gotta go! Miss ya!
5 minutes later...
Holy fuck, I'm wrecked! I feel like i had some thing to say but i... Holy fuck i'm whacked!!!
Ahhhh, Keep smoking young grasshopper... Soon it will be pointless to fight the addiction! hahahahahaha

 

by TheDaveFanclub
12-15-06
Ha, I just got a +2 sword from the Tomb of Horrors!
You just did that? You are slower than I thought
What do you mean by that Mr. "How do I use my new cloak of Invisiblity"
I WAS HAVING A HARD DAY, MY MOM WAS YELLING AT ME THAT MORNING!!! How's your mom doing anyway Mr. "I'm 45 in my parents basement?"
She's doing fine! How's that losing your virginity before you turn 40 going for ya??
YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN"T SAY ANYTHING!!! I'm outta here

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