All comics by abxurd

 

by abxurd
7-01-03
In a Civil War Reinactment, an african american boy wanders on to the war grounds.
Look, a slave got out!
Gotta go!
This Rave is Great
What the fuck?
Meanwhile
Do you have insurance
No, but you've caught me at an excellent time.

 

by abxurd
7-01-03
Herro Cindy
Herro Lucy
What aw your views on todays weather
My views include the fallowing, bad weather, bad fun, not having good time.
All of those views on todays weather are valid, but I would like to add a view of my own, on our views on todays weather, cloudy.
Ah, a very good view, but one thing, do not ever go against the family.

 

by abxurd
7-01-03
ugh, what's the day of the week snitch.
I dunno and i dont care, cuz jimmy crack corn and i dont care
Something wrong snath, you look different
I dunno and i dont care, cuz jimmy crack corn and i dont care
Fuck dis.
I dunno and i dont care, cuz jimmy crack corn and i dont care

 

by abxurd
7-01-03
Hello My bretheren, why are you not in our normal skins, we are in a sanctuary from other humans.
You're Funny Mister
Hahaha, Embracing your human roots, practicing your human identity Clock dock 9?
The hay are you talking about you silly guy
oh.. um, want to see something sillier, just take off your human pantys turn around, and you'll feel something in your pooper.
Um...ok, but I'll go get my other friend Lucy too, she told me her dad did this to her so she has better expierience, oh, and my 2 fathers do this all the time

 

by abxurd
7-08-03
Dude, your such a freaking copy cat
No I'm not you are, and on top of being a copy cat you are also a dork
shut up you stupid xbox owner.
Dude, xbox is the best system ever created, and the atari.
Oh ya, well xbox owners dont go threw puberty, while ps2 owners do.
Oh ya... well...xbox is cooler

 

by abxurd
7-09-03
Herro Cindy
Herro Lucy
What aw your views on the interior design and decorating of my house?
To tell the truthLucy, it is quite plain, but simple and subtle
Cindy, first of all, I must warn you, that I have became suicidal in the last three seconds.
Well, as a friend, I advise you to kill yourself.

 

by abxurd
7-09-03
So let us recap cindy, you want me dead.
Well, not me, but many people.
Tell me of these people.
Well, when our rival gang, the bloods, did a drive-by, on your house last night, it made me think, and i came to the conclusion that people want you dead.
to be continued...
So You are just want me dead for the overall welfare of my being?
yes..and 1 more thing

 

by abxurd
7-09-03
The continuance of Views II-2
What is that?
I'm 9 months pregnant, and my water just broke.
Dramatic music starts to play
Holy shit dude
We must get a doctor here, I fear, if we go outside, we will be assasinated
To be concluded
ok im sorry, but, are you on crack cindy, we're not in a gang, you're not pregnant, and um, stop doing crack.
I'm not on crack, but I have something to tell you...

 

by abxurd
7-09-03
the conclusion of Views II-3
yes, tell me.
We must go back...
Normandy, Germany, 1942...
Shit cindy, someones been cheating on my boyfriend
It was me
END?
Ok Cindy, you gotta hook me up with your crack dealer, I mean, I can't wait to tell you about this
I'm a cyborg, FROM THE F*&%'n FUTURE, sean conners, it is time, she is the T-1000, and im da T-850

 

by abxurd
7-31-03
Are standing there, with a hammer in your hand, about to kill your self?
Yes.
Have you already lodged a nail into your forhead, about to hit that nail in as hard as you can.
Yes.
To be continued...
Theeeeeeeeen...I guess we can't really help you...

 

by abxurd
9-14-03
Yet another day, in a life were Arnold lost the election
Hey wanna buy some mescaline
Sure, this i might as well day clean, using soap.
Your gonna use it for soap! I aint gonna give it to you then you whore
Right now, I'm going to go to Safeway, and i'm going to buy some eggs. Then I'm going to make a boiled egg, and I'm making it a runny one
IS this even funny? No.
You idiot, I am a cyborg, now you will pay your taxes, or i will kill you.
SHIT, this is the third time today i've been caught telling people about me buying my eggs.

 

by abxurd
11-19-03
Another Day In the stajer family
Hey Jeffrey, guess what daddy just let me do!
WHAT!?
He let me suck his popsicle, just like you!!
Yea, well i guess it is time you grew up and took it in the mouth like a man.
End
....
Dude, you suck your dads dick.

 

by abxurd
11-19-03
Sup
Hey man, your that jesus dude, I got like a shit load of questions to ask you man, fucking shitload, scuse my french.
Thats ok, go ahead, ask.
Fucking, heres my question man, could God create a hot dog so fucking big he couldn't eat it himself?
End, no there wont be a sequel
I believe if you search yourself, you will find out, the true answer is within you, let your heart guide you, along with God.
I was fucking looking for a yes or no question man, this aint the matrix, oh shit, thats my other question, is this the matrix?

 

by abxurd
11-19-03
Finally, after paying millions of dollars, Jack gets to the moon...
Hey KYLE!! HOW ARE YOU PAL, OH BUDDY OL' PAL IT's BEEN AWHILE MAN
Dude, fucking leave, I was just about to jack off, now I got...what squirells on this bench, I came all the way to the moon to jack off man and I got squirrels
I'm sorry man, maybe I could help man, I mean it's probobly better having someone else do it, you know?
I guess, if you weren't a squirell, how the FUCK! did you get here man, you should be dead, we both should ok, we're on the moon, the pressure of like space should like fucking explode our heads.
I know, so what. THE END
ok.
Look, we're on the moon, I'm probobly in a dream or on smack, so just go ahead and jack me off, if this is a dream, i'll cry myself a river, I mean whats the big deal anyways, a squirel jacks me off?

 

by abxurd
11-19-03
Here, we eavesdrop on a lil conversationaroony
Welcome to Fatfood- exuse me Fast Foods R us how may I help you?
Oh God, I forgot what I was going to order.
How may I help you ma'am?
FUCKING WAIT A SECOND WHORE GOD DAMN, YOU CAN HELP ME BY WAITING, ALSO OF COURSE YOU CAN HELP ME, I FUCKING CAME HERE, WAITED IN LINE FOR 5 MINUTES TO GET FOOD, NOT TO BE BULLSHITTED!!
End
I'm, sorry, I just, it's pms, and I'm 20 months pregnant!
Maybe if your would stop stabbing knives in your pussy, and poking the babies head, maybe, that would stop the bleeding

 

by abxurd
11-19-03
Welcome little girl, TO HELL!!!
I'm a boy, an african american boy, my people were free'd by the emancipation proclamation
Shut the fuck up, you've never done one ounce of labor in your life, you fucking have a rich ass dad who gives you everything
yea, maybe, but just because my Ancestors faught hella dood. Hey, what the fuck are you talking for, fuck you beelzebub, lucipher, satan, fucking whatever your name is.
Hey, have some sympathy for the devil
Ay, thats a rolling stones song, you fucking prick, come up with your own shit, I mean I'm black and i know that song.

 

by abxurd
2-06-05
watup asian dis COMPTON
AY dis Jiggas crazy
Ay yo I'm not gonna make it
What do you mean? Do you mean that this corner of the angles of all rationale
Whence did you concur?
ALl together now HO-TELL MO-TEL, HOLIDAE EEN

 

by abxurd
1-14-06
New York, 2007, Ducks
Is this seat taken?
Quack
Oh please, posing as a disillusioned duck does not fool me for a second. What's your name?
...Winston
Where are you going Winston? Stay here, I'm oh so lonely, and this could be the begining of something great.
Damn Hoochie Mama's think they know me, THEY DON'T KNOW ME.

 

by abxurd
1-12-07
den ah was like SHIET JIM
o word?
Excuse me sir this seat is taken.
...
oh my...
Listun heauhr ya lil' ol' whate lady ya better respect me now. Else ahm gon' take mah pimp han' n slap your righ' cross da leips.

 

by abxurd
1-12-07
(2)fosho
(1)Clip, show dis nigga how we roll
FUCK DIS BITCH PACKIN PAPER CLIPS! SMOKE EM ROCKO!!
Sho thang boss.
....
No one fucks wit granny.

 

by abxurd
1-12-07
And Then your grandma smoked the evil man away with one clip and the help of my alien friend Charles.
Badass.
Althought Charles was an alien, he disguised himself as a duck as all aliens can do, so that our foe would not know that we were amongst him.
FUCKIN RAD!
So you see your a hermaphrodite.
Sweet

 

by abxurd
1-12-07
oh how sad...
What is grandma?
Poor Thing, he doesn't know what that is. O i just CANT do it, i cant tell him. I CANT.
why is she not talking? Does this mean i'm gay? I only did it cuz stifler did it in american pie II.
O God what do i tell him.
wait, i can hear her thoughts, fuck yo Maybe this means i can read minds.

Showing page 1.