All comics by albee

 

Hentai by albee 12-01-03
Yet another day... Dude, what's the matter? I lost my job.	Holy cow. Why? Well...it had something to do with all the hentai on my work computer...	You dumbass. Yeah, rub it in, beakface.

 

Therapy by albee 12-01-03
Beakface Killah goes to his therapist So my buddy Raoul lost his job today cause he's all hooked on some Jappy cartoon porn. Yes, he likes the Hentai does he?	Yeah, and you know...he's been sleeping on my couch for six months and not paying any rent and eating all my corn. You realize you just rhymed, don't you?	So what? That's not the point... Two minutes down, fifty-eight to go. *sigh*

 

Corporate Hooker by albee 12-01-03
In the meantime, Raoul gets something in the mail... Well...a letter...it's from my mom!	Hey baby, wanna have a good time? What the hell is a hooker doing in my strip?	We offer competitive rates on sexual acts ranging from the mundane, typical missionary position to freaky stuff with stirrups and whipped cream... When did prostitution become so...wordy?

 

Dark magick by albee 12-02-03
Happy December my ass. What's your problem today, Doug?	I just...see, I know that some kid built me...like they do every year...and I'm just gonna get neglected and melt in about five days. Well, at least you get to enjoy a little time in the world every year. Look at me, I'm dead. In fact, I'm not really sure how I'm even sitting here fraternizing with you in this strip...	...it's because of the dark magick of these two forces of evil... Hey, let's go pee in the yard. Brill!

 

David Bowie by albee 12-02-03
Beakface Killah meets a superstar... Hello, I'm David Bowie. Who?	You know, "ground control to Major Tom"...the guy that did "Let's Dance"? Uh...wait, you look familiar. Were you in that movie 'Labyrinth'? Didn't you have that crazy big hair and a codpiece?	Yes, that was me. That movie was lame-o, man.

 

David Bowie, part two by albee 12-02-03
...later, at Beakface and Raoul's humble abode You met David Bowie and told him he was lame-o?? What were you thinking??? Dude, I hated 'Labyrinth'.	Bowie is the coolest, man. 'Labyrinth' or no, this is the man who invented glam rock!!!! Augh! Hey, I say it hows I see it. Not even Jennifer Connelly could save that sad flick.	...meanwhile, dark magick looms in the distance... Well, we peed in the yard, now what? Well, I just saw David Bowie in the last strip, maybe he'd sing that "Dance Magic Dance" song for us....

 

Fake Plastic Thoms by albee 12-03-03
Our dear friend The Therapist receives a strange visitor at his door... I. am. Thom. Yorke. and. I. am. here. to. destroy. your. planet. Oh really? Then tell me this, Mr. Yorke...why was Amnesiac so damn boring?	It. was. brilliant. though. Kid. A. was. better. Rubbish! You're an impostor! Amnesiac WAS boring and you know it!	...and so the 'fake' Thom Yorke leaves just as Beakface arrives for his session... Hey, wasn't that Thom Yorke? Dammit! Should've asked for his autograph...

 

Doug vs. the fake robotic Thom Yorke by albee 12-03-03
Doug the Snowman meets up with the fake robotic Thom Yorke... I think I'm catching a cold. I. am. Thom. Yorke. and. I. have. come. to. destroy. your. planet.	Sorry, what's that? Why do you want to destroy the world? Don't. you. know. who. I. am? I. am. a. grumpy. rock. star. and. the. overlord. of. artsy-fartsy. music. My. ideas. are. genius. My. killing. abilities. inhumane. and. ruthless.	Oh, rock music. I'm more of a Lawrence Welk fan. Oh, and Debby Boone. Love that "You Light Up My Wife" song...do you like Perry Como? Your. bad. taste. dictates. I. will. destroy. you. first.

 

Evil Sisters by albee 12-04-03
So, what did you do yesterday? I wreaked havoc in the world of man. I turned several into frogs.	That's pretty rad. I put a firecracker in a dog's bottom. Oh my! That's evil!!	Then Mom called me inside for dinner. She's next!! Your evil knows no bounds, sister girl.

 

Raoul and the Fart Car by albee 12-04-03
Raoul catches up on the news after a long day of nothing-doing... "...and in other news, a technological breakthrough--an automobile that runs off flatulence..." Hey...that's big news...	...I wonder who I could call and tell...	...then again, maybe I should go out and find a job... Oh Jesus...don't make me look at Hentai again...

 

So Indie it hurts. by albee 12-15-03
Two random scenesters discussing their credibility... I am sooooo fucking indie my Guided By Voices seven-inches are all signed by Bob Pollard! Oh yeah? Well, I'M so fucking indie I have a picture of me with D. Boon from the Minutemen!!!	Oh yeah? Well, I'M so fucking indie I totally had sex with Chan Marshall! Oh YEAH? Well, I'm so FUCKING indie Thurston Moore comes over to my house for tea!	I had a three-way with Chan Marshall AND Kim Gordon! That's disGUSting.

 

Butt Pirate versus Big Pimpin' by albee 12-15-03
Arr...I'm a butt pirate!	I'm heeeere for yer booty!	Prepare for boarding! Bitch! You betta have my chedda, or someone's gettin' slapped!

 

Work is a four-letter word. by albee 12-23-03
Daddy, what's a job? Well, it's this place you go, where you do something and they reward you with money. You use money to buy food and diapers and all that good stuff.	Wow. That sounds great! It can be. Your mommy has a wonderful job with people who are really honorable.	Do you like your job, Daddy? Once upon a time I did...

 

Reactions by albee 12-23-03
In their neutral background, Raoul and Beakface discuss the gutwrenching strip that immediately preceded this one. That last strip was unbelievably depressing. Tell me about it!	It's the holidays! It's time to make jokes about stupid things like the government or celebrities. Hey, everybody takes a knock once in a while. I'm sure this strip will be considerably funnier any minute now...	...across town, Binky the Bear takes a knock of his own... GWAH! THE CAFFEINE! IT BURNS LIKE WHITE FIRE IN MY VEINS! That wasn't caffeine, Binky, that was diesel fuel.

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