All comics by bloodysteak

Profile

 

by bloodysteak
6-14-02
These aren't the forms I ordered.
Why didn't they send the forms I ordered?
Did I hear something?

 

by bloodysteak
6-14-02
"Step 1. Remove unit from packaging. Insert slot 9 into plug C."
"Step 2. Connect the transformer to outlet G as shown in diagram 69-C."
"Step 3. Confess."

 

by bloodysteak
6-14-02
Some day I will have to pilot this spaceship.
I will explore new planetoids and make contact with unforeseen life forms.
HEY!

 

by bloodysteak
6-14-02
I look pretty good today.
God I'm awesome.

 

by bloodysteak
6-14-02
Onward, men!
It is imperative that we reach the fort by nightfall!
Rally your spirits, and pray to God in Heaven that the accursed Yankees do not spy us!
If the location of our stronghold is discovered, all is lost!
Oh, no.

 

by bloodysteak
6-14-02
LET THERE BE LIGHT
LET THERE BE LIGHT!!
LET THERE BE LIGHT!!!!!

 

by bloodysteak
6-16-02
I hereby claim this moon in the name of ... WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?
I ... I'm scared to look.
I won't.

 

by bloodysteak
6-17-02
Hey man, being skewered on a spit is crazy painful.
You said it, daddy-o.
Oh maaan, did the spit just get THICKER?
I'm in so much pain I'm smiling!
Well, at least we're on fire now.
HELLS YEAH!

 

by bloodysteak
7-01-02
When I was a young Christmas tree, my mother would tell me the legend of the White House elves!
Umm.... Which state do you represent?
Every Christmas Eve, they rise from the ground to prance about with the ghost of Checkers, the cocker spaniel!
I see.
I am the White House. What is going on out there? I am the White House!
Then they spread merriment and delight through the Oval ... HEY!
I have to catch on fire now.

 

by bloodysteak
7-03-02
Yes?
Good morning, ma'am! I'm going door-to-door today to tell people about a very special offer!
For a limited time only, if you sign our petition to save the rainforest, you will receive not only a handy tote-bag, but a free plush poison-arrow frog as well! It's cute!!!
Thanks, but my husband died today.

 

by bloodysteak
8-18-02
I hereby claim this land in the name of ... WHAT THE HECK IS A DEER DOING ON THE MOON?!?
Don't everybody raise their hand at once, now.

 

by bloodysteak
10-06-02
Come on baby
Let's do the twist
Take me by my little handsies
And go-uh like this

 

by bloodysteak
10-06-02
Someone is watching me...

 

by bloodysteak
10-06-02
YAAYYY!! HAHAHA! WHEEE!
Rot in hell, you godfucked cocksucker.
OOP!
Why, hello.
BUUURP

 

by bloodysteak
10-06-02
It's going to go perfectly this time.
Nothing will get in the way of me performing this task flawlessly!
sniff

 

by bloodysteak
10-06-02
Sur le pont d'Avignon L'on y danse, l'on y danse, Sur le pont d'Avignon ... HEYYYYYY
That's better.
HEYYYYYY

 

by bloodysteak
10-06-02
ICH BEFEHLE EUCH, IM TAL MIT MIR ZU SCHERZEN!
JA, UNSER HERR, FOLGEN WIR IHNEN!
UNSER SCHERZEN IST BEWEIS DER ALLMÄCHTIGEN STÄRKE DES GOTTES! KEIN BLATT DES GRASES UBERÜHRT BLEIBT!
JA, UNSER HERR, FOLGEN WIR IHNEN!
JA, UNSER HERR, FOLGEN WIR IHNEN!

 

by bloodysteak
10-06-02
Oh, man! We sure showed that industrial developer who he be messin' wit'!
Right on, ace partner in Fucking Wit Da Man!
He be runnin' back to his mommy, promisin' to be a good boy and never clear land for another strip mall!
You said it, my main motherfucka!
Well, in that case, gentlemen, I see no reason not to approve Item 65-B, a Petition for Commerical Development in Zone R-74 ... are there children playing outside?
I think so. Now, if I may address the issue of Item 76-I....

 

by bloodysteak
10-07-02
Right over there in that cave! I swear to Almighty God I saw something!
Probably a raccoon.
That's what you said last time!
Mr. President! Milton's being a dillweed again!

 

by bloodysteak
10-07-02
In the mornin'
In the evenin'
Ain't we got fun?
Not much money
But, oh honey
Could you PLEASE be quiet for once? Oh, and you're fired. Get out of my office. I'm a busy owl with no time for false pleasantries. My wife left me last week and is suing for 83% of my possessions.

 

by bloodysteak
10-14-02
That's a mighty HANDSOME lookin' book you have there.
It's written in a dialect which I can only understand when I close my eyes.
Maybe you should nail them shut.
*sigh* Maybe I should....

 

by bloodysteak
10-14-02
Question 74: How old is it, and can it be removed?
Processing...
Processing...
KA-CHING! BABY!!!

 

by bloodysteak
10-14-02
Go away.

 

by bloodysteak
11-06-02
Where is that man?
I don't see him anywhere....
Did I imagine it?

 

by bloodysteak
11-06-02
Dare I?
Could I?
Delicious.

 

by bloodysteak
11-11-02
Here we are, masters of the universe....
This game sucks.
Masters of the universe....

 

by bloodysteak
12-06-02
Dude....
Work sucks today.
Tweet.

 

by bloodysteak
12-06-02
Call USA-100...
...then you can truly say:
Nobody bothers meeee!
Nobody bothers meeee!
Nobody bothers meeee!
Nobody boddas me, eeduh!

 

by bloodysteak
12-08-02
What's over here?
He doesn't know I'm RIGHT BEHIND HIM.
Hey, you're RIGHT BEHIND ME!
No shit!
Umm ... line?
That's it, I'm outta here.

 

by bloodysteak
12-08-02
Should I come in?
Millions of miles away, a priest, a rabbi, and a proctologist walked into a bar.
Come in!

 

by bloodysteak
12-11-02
BAM!!!
God, do I ever rock!
Man ... I am COOL!
I feel sick...

 

by bloodysteak
12-12-02
Dr. Spazmoddyxx, can you give me a cure for my hallucinations?
... Dr. Spazmoddyxx?
Oh, shit, he's CARDBOARD.
Yes!

 

by bloodysteak
12-13-02
Hey, dude, I was just wondering ... why are we made to suffer?
That's a damn good question, and I'm glad you asked it.
I haven't got all day, you know.

 

by bloodysteak
12-16-02
Land o' Goshen!
I don't believe a single one of my eyes....
We are doomed for certain.
The sheer horror....
We must pray to every divinity we can think of for succor.

 

by bloodysteak
12-16-02
Okay.

 

by bloodysteak
1-02-03
One night at a "party".
Oh, wow, that's really very innnteresting....
What, WHAT?
Oh, hah hah faaascinating.,,,
What the devil are you about, sir?
Oh, now it's even *more* interesting over *here*....
FLAMES?!?! WHY?!?!

 

by bloodysteak
1-04-03
A cool summer night in the swank part of the forest. The lights are low, and the atmosphere exudes elegance.
"Smoooker gets in your eeeyes." Thank you, you've been really super.
So he was really a wizard.... Darling, isn't that interesting?

 

by bloodysteak
1-05-03
Say something....
So ... Bob tells me you're a big fan of differential equations.
JACKPOT!!!!!!! XRXRXRXRX

 

by bloodysteak
1-05-03
Millions of years from now, scientists believe that the world will be overrun by little old ladies!
ooh
ehh
eee
aah
Time ta CLEAN THIS PLANET UP! Yippee-TAI-YAI-AY!!! Whoo!!
ey?

 

by bloodysteak
1-05-03
Millions of years in the future, scientists believe that the world will be overrun by little old ladies!
Rollin', rollin', rollin' -- keep those grannies rollin' -- keep those grannies rollin', rawHIIIDE!
erm
ehh
oh my
Just then....
WHUT IN BLUE GRAVY?!?!
MOSES. Moses?

 

by bloodysteak
1-05-03
Millions of years from now, scientists believe that the planet will be overrun by little old ladies!
Great jumpin' jackaroos!
I AM THE ALMIGHTY FLAME OF GOD. I COMMAND THEE TO GO FORTH AND PERFORM MY WILL.
ehh
You hearn the Flame o' God, Nana! Git along over there with the other ladies. I got somethin' ta say.
I AM THE MOUTH OF THE LORD. FROM MY TONGUE FLOWETH THE DECREE OF THE ALMIGHTY. HEAR AND REJOICE IN FOLLOWING THE WILL OF THE DIVINE.
ey?

 

by bloodysteak
1-06-03
Millions of years in the future, scientists believe the Earth will be overrun by little old ladies!
Well, shee-oot my dagbasters! I can't preach to a congregation that CAN'T HEAR A THING!
ey?
If I can't convert 'em, I might as well join 'em. LOOKIT ME, WORLD, I'M A GRANNY, TOO! AWOOHA!!!
ehr
ohh
ehh

 

by bloodysteak
3-18-03

 

by bloodysteak
7-07-03
Ohhhh man, did I ever eat too much.... What the hell is your deal???
Oh, MAN are you creepy.
Jingle, jingle....

 

by bloodysteak
7-07-03
VIOLATION.
VIOLATION.
DEFINITELY A VIOLATION.
OHHH YEAH.

 

by bloodysteak
7-07-03
I don't think I was really cut out for this after all.
I think you're doing it wrong.
As good as this feels, I DON'T FUCKING CARE!
LUMBERGH!
OHH YEAH!

 

by bloodysteak
7-07-03
AHH! AHH! AHH!
AAAAAHHHH!!!
Why couldn't you save me, Dad?

 

by bloodysteak
7-07-03
I think I am too fat.
Yep! Sure are!
Your shoe's untied!
Yeah, well, you're a BEE MAN. Wait a sec ... are we on the MOON???
TA-DAAA

 

by bloodysteak
7-07-03
Can't you smell me?
I'm better this way.
All day and all night...
...I'm a mad dog!
Did the ball just speak?

 

by bloodysteak
7-07-03
Hello, my name is Zleptonix, and I'll be your babysitter tonight. Please stop drawing on the wall.
...What are you drawing, anyway?
Sweet!

Showing page 1.

Next »