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| Kajun Firefly once ate 27 uncooked hotdogs for a nickle. | |
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| Kajun Firefly still believes in Santa. | |
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| Kajun Firefly was arrested for grinding his crotch against homeless people as they slept. | |
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| Kajun Firefly used to mail people his toe nail clippings to strangers. | |
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| When Kajun Firefly was born, the doctor spanked him, then he crawled into the doctor's mouth and ate him from the inside. | |
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| Kajun Firefly used to wear a helmet to keep gremlins from eating his brain. | |
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