All comics by crovax7

 

by crovax7
5-04-03
Once upon a time, a crazy pirate discovered a computer.
Yarr... what be this computing device?
lol n00b
After he figured out how to use it, he discovered the internet.
Yarr... what be happening when I push yonder funky icon shaped like an 'e'?
lol n00b
He figured that since he could never get any help for Counter-Strike without being laughed at, he made a site dedicated to game help.
Yarr... With a push of a button, I shall be creating GameFAQs!
Oh god. Kill me now.

 

by crovax7
5-04-03
However, the computer's last prayers were answered...
Yarr... WTF be happening?
thank... you...
...and a man appeared out of the ashes.
Yarr... WTF are you?
I am the saviour. I come from the future... TO WARN YOU!
This guy's crazier than me... and I'm a freakin' stick-figure pirate!
You will repent for your sins if you create GameFAQs! Don't do it!

 

by crovax7
5-04-03
Finally, the saviour from the future bid farewell.
sheesh, finally... there be barnacles growing on yonder foot already...
Well, I should go now...
But there was something else to be done first...
[pirate swear word]
But FIRST! I must show you something!
fuck.
Oh, one other thing... I'm a magic priest. I can read your thoughts. You are SO going to hell.

 

by crovax7
5-04-03
That evil laugh doesn't sound good...
This is the... GALLERY OF HORRORS! MWAHAHAHA!
yadda yadda yadda...
These... what I am about to show you.. are your very own creations, no, abominations!
Fine... stupid priest dude
I can read your ****ing mind. Can you at least pretend to pay attention?

 

by crovax7
5-04-03
what?
This is DarkCobra. He has... well... you'll see.
crovax7 apologizes for trying to be funny.
Stop scratching yourself. I can still see with one eye.
I'M AN ATHEIST ATHEISMISM >>>>>>J000 GOD DOESN'T EXIST SPAM SPAM SPAM!!!1!!one!11!!exclamationmark!11!

 

by crovax7
5-04-03
Big deal. I'm still gonna make GameFAQs. Now move over.
No.. wait! Then... let me just show you ONE more...
shimina-what?
Now you shall see... Shinigami!
(No hard feelings, Shini)
. . .
LOOK AT ME I'M AN ATTENTION WHORE!!!

 

by crovax7
5-04-03
IT IS DONE!! WASUBI-YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Beep be-boop boop bee! Congratulations, CJayC , http://www.GameFAQs.com/ is online!
Now what?
We put up banner ads and attack the competition to make more money. We're in hell, I'm a satanic PC!

 

by crovax7
5-04-03
One day, CJayC got drunk and made a terrible mistake.
YaRR... I ShALL mAEK a PLAEC tO tAElK aBoUT sTuF aND iT sHaL bE cALLeD LUE... *hic*
I am a satanic computer. Thus, I am inclined to accept your hellish request. LUE has been created!
And that is when everything began...
Yay. I have 75 Karma points. I can go to this thing called LUE.
ERROR: Your topic was baleeted and you were notified for being a n00b. You must wait another 3 days!
One day, CJayC got drunk and made a terrible mistake.
What?! The person that did this should rot in hell!
OMFG LIEK J00 SAID HELL U LOSE 10 KARMA@(@*!(*(*!$*(!@$#*(%

 

by crovax7
5-04-03
13 days later...
w00tage I have 75 karma points! I can go to 'LUE'!
No! Don't! I'm a good PC... I've heard of LUE... it's bad! bad!
Shut up. You're just a piece of machinery. Take me to LUE.
Fine.. if you insist... but don't blame me for the things my monitor says!
Wang... wang... waaaaang... @_@
WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG

 

by crovax7
5-04-03
You know... I don't know if this was intentional...
...but you have your right hand down your pants.
IT'S CALLED 'WANKING' AND IT'S PERFECTLY HEALTHY!
Uh-oh... it might be too late to save this one from LUE!

 

by crovax7
5-05-03
Soon, more and more users were brought to LUE by word of mouth.
Hey man, you gotta try this 'LUE' thing.
Yeah, sure, whatever you say...
Hey... this is the kinda stuff I like!
My user is a sick freak.
Meanwhile...
Yay!
We're up to 3 members!

 

by crovax7
5-05-03
Now... we must get more members, and treat them even worse! Advertise on every porn site you know! Lower the age limit! Make a flyer and stick it in the local newspaper!
I'm not drunk anymore, you know.
Good. Then you should know by now you're just my puppet and I'm doing everything myself.

 

by crovax7
5-05-03
*GASP* You mean to say that GameFAQs isn't run by some pirate named CJayC.. but by a satanic computer?
Well, gee, aren't you special, it only took you 13 comics to figure that out! Hey... wait...
...The way you spoke about yourself... You're not CJayC! That could only mean...
PWN3D!!!
You're my arch-nemesis, Priest Dude!

 

by crovax7
5-05-03
*GASP*
But that's okay, I still have a trick up my sleeve. Why is there a priest in hell?
Must... fight... logic... NOOOOO!!!
Now who is doing the pwnz0ring?
Quiet, you. I'm not done yet.
A winnar is me.

 

by crovax7
5-05-03
*POOF* I AM JESUS
Huh? But... if you're really Jesus... what are you doing in hell?
JESUS CAN GO WHERE EVER THE HELL HE WANTS
NOW I SHALL SMITETH THEE...WITH MY GOD POWER!!!
Aaaaargh!

 

by crovax7
5-05-03
WELL... NOW THAT I HAVE KILLED YOUR PC, MY WORK IS DONE
Thanks, Jesus. Now I shall get back to building GameFAQs.
WHAT? HAVE YOU NOT LEARNED FROM YOUR MISTAKES?
Pshht, hell no. I got wasted and brainwashed by a computer... what is there to learn from?
GOOD POINT.
Well, see ya later, Mister Jesus.

 

by crovax7
5-05-03
Even though that satanic PC was taken care of... I fear that CJayC was not cured.
Perhaps LUE will continue, forever, no matter how many hellish demons I destroy... perhaps...
Meanwhile... (Note: The computer was not destroyed, just exorcised. Very poorly, I might add.)
*hic* wONdER wHAt HaPPeNS iF I *hic* PuSH thIS bUttOn *hic*
Are you sure you would like to download "PerkyTits.exe"?

 

by crovax7
5-07-03
Even though the computer was exorcised, LUE still lived, and was forgotten by CJayC
I am doing very important stuff on my computer.
Are you sure you would like to run program "C:/WINDOWS/My Documents/CJ's Secret Porn Stash/PerkyTits.exe"?
And the power of LUE drew stronger... and stronger...
I've GOT to try these.
Life, The Universe, and Everything: Topic: Evil things to do to a Telemarketer
And then... Ceej noticed something was amiss.
Stupid computer, get back to my pr0n-- I mean.. my 'important stuff'!
WARNING: Board 402, 'Life, the Universe, and Everything', has 4 times the moderations than any other board!!

 

by crovax7
5-07-03
LUE.. that sounds familiar... wasn't that board deleted?
Er... no...
Damnit! I thought I did delete it! Ah well... I need to think of a way to get rid of it...
ZELDA SOCIAL BOARD: Topic: Hey, guess what? I'm gonna get a tattoo just like the Master Sword!
It's perfect... GWAHAHAHA!
Reply: AdmiralViscen: GO AWAY N00B LIEK I PWN DIS BOARD U SUCK!!$@*)%@)*@%)*

 

by crovax7
5-19-03
First, I shall cripple LUE by baleeting several prolific users... including Mr. Wangsock, the Ace of Spades on my deck of 'GFAQs most wanted terrorists' cards.
Hooray!
Then I shall... er...
...press the pie button?
Shhhhh! Walls have ears! FOR THE RECORD THERE IS NO PIE BUTTON NOR DID I MENTION A "PIE BUTTON"
okay...

 

by crovax7
6-05-03
My plan is not going as well as planned, the people of LUE are revolting!
Oh no!
Don't worry, I still have a backup plan. All I have to do is threated to delete LUE... that should demoralize them...
*click*
...then I will raise the Karma limit to 150, ensuring that none of the important LUEsers, who I banned earlier, return before the board is cleansed!
Yay!

 

by crovax7
6-05-03
Meanwhile, some innocent users are caught up in the plan
Time to see what's going on in LUE...
ERROR: You need 150 karma to go to LUE now.
What?!
Posted by CJayC: lol PWN3D
OH, that's it, you're going down! Time for a slanderous petition!
www.petition-online.com: Create the "CJayC should be banned" petition? |YES| |NO|

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