All comics by highwind

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by highwind
6-15-02
So ya see, Swabian, pot really isn't that bad afterall.
But...but....mommy said it was bad!
Well your mom is a stupid whore.
No she's not! She's the reason I'm super intelligent. Right Jesus?
No, Swabian. Your mom is a whore, you don't know shit, and quit asking me to send you a male lover, I don't condone Homosexuality!
Jesus is so Jesus.

 

by highwind
6-15-02
Jeroak Nelave Finds An Innocent VideoGame In A Back Alley
So babe, whats your name?
I'm a demon from the new Diablo knock-off game, "Devil Time!!"
Jeroak makes a proposition
Whaddya say you come back to my place and I test you out in my new rhinstone covered PS2?
But I got horrible reviews from everyone!! And I'm not even on the PS2, I'm on XBox!!
Later that night.....
Ohhh yeah. That's nice. Now push that block onto the switch to reveal the secret room. Ahhhh yeaaaaahhhh....
Yes, master. Just don't bitch slap me again...

 

by highwind
6-15-02
Hey Blaze, ready to go out?
I'll be right there, Highwind! I'm almost ready!
Highwind Gets Impatient
Man, what the hell is takin' him so long??
What the hell?? I said we were going to the METALLICA S&M show!! "Symphony & Metallica"!! Not an "Slave & Master" show!!
Dammit!! The left nipple ring alone took my 2 hours to put in!!! A whole night ruined!

 

by highwind
6-15-02
Serge is telling a story to his friend, Mora.
So there I was, surrounded by ten nakid chicks when all of a sudden.....
YOU SPELLED NAKED WRONG!!!
What the fuck? I didn't SPELL anything! I'm trying to tell you a story about my 10-way group sex with super models last night!!
Meh, I'm done with you. I think Cowboy Bebop is on anyway....
Mora scurries home.
Hey!! Come back!! I was just getting to the part where I devoured their edible-panties!!!!

 

by highwind
6-15-02
Gray and JlaCroix meet up on the street.
Hey Jeremy what's up, man?
You're not Gray. I read on a Geocities website that "Gray" doesn't exist! It was a government consipiracy!
You're a freak. I'm leaving. Watch my Locke-like ass cheeks pump in the opposite direction!!
Fine! Leave, you imposter! I'm going home!!
Back at JlaCroix's House....
You're not really a telephone!! Only I know that you're really a refridgerator and no one is going to change my opinion of you!!!!
He says this to me every fucking day!

 

by highwind
6-15-02
You ever seen a Dingo do this???
Of course!! I'm Captain Limp Penis!! I've seen everything!!
Oh..well I also eat babies?? Does that do anything for ya??
Nope, pooch. Nothin'. There's only one thing that gets Captain Limp Penis erect!!
Later that evening, back at the Penis Cave.
Big Daddy's back, Sejon. And I see your "special ear" is ready for lovin'.
*Gulp*

 

by highwind
6-15-02
Skylure gets frustrated with Cow..
Ok, now I'm going to explain "jacking" to you ONE MORE TIME!
Moo?
No no!! Your penis! PENIS!! Stop swinging your tail!!
Moo???
Dammit!! Come here! Let me just do it for you!!
Hehehe, it works every time..

 

by highwind
6-15-02
Ezalb meets a stranger....
Hey!! You look weird!! Who are you?!
I'm Mrs. Sejon Sol!!! Wanna do it??
Ok!! Cool!!! I'll go get my dreamcast!!
????
Ok, now I get to be the Blue Bomberman!! He's totally the coolest!!!
You can be whoever you want, babe. Now drop those pants, Mr. Bomberman. It's bunny humpin' time!!

 

by highwind
6-16-02
So, Mr. Eric Novak, how did you come up with the idea to start a website based on RPG Maker??
Wha..? What?? Who are you? Why are you in my house??
I'm John Doodleshit from the Daily BJ newspaper. I'm here to interview you. Remember?
No, no! I have no pants on!! I haven't seen the sun since.....Oh my god! What day is this?? I started working on a 3-d rendering of the Mona Lisa fighting a Mutated Cyclops in a cage match and......
Christ! Shut the fuck up!! You think I WANT to be interviewing a worthless, no one like you?? The only reason I'm here is because I got demoted for exposing myself to a blind kid.
Oh yeah! Mopery! I got busted for that too. Hey, come back to my office, I got some wicked child pornography to show ya!! I got naked pics of the Olsen Twins AND Punky Brewster!!

 

by highwind
6-16-02
Terr gets angry...
Fuck you Martha Stewart!! You're gonna get a special devilery from Terrorist420x!
Later, In Terr's bomb lab....
Just a twist here.....and a pinch there and........done!!
One Week Later...
Martha Stewart:: "Today on 'Living', I'm gonna teach you how to turn a mail bomb into a coffee table. A special thanks to Mr. F.U. Stewart for sending me this bomb."
FUCK YOU STEWART!!! You always ruin my plans by turning my bombs into furniture!! I'll get you next time, stewart!! NEXT TIME!!

 

by highwind
6-16-02
Hey dick head, what's that smell??
Whaddya askin' me for?? You're the one with the super long dicknose!!
Well, I smell something FUNKY.
Oh no!! It can't be!! IT MUSN'T BE!!
That's right, little johhny!! It's none other than....
FUNKIDELIC THE IMMORTAL!!!!!
You may be funky, but you got no dick so I'm outta here. Maybe I can find that Elephant and the Bunny somewhere around here....

 

by highwind
6-16-02
KefkaJr Pops The Question...
Hey, Alzar, why do you always carry around that sack??
It's for makin' babies, yo!
Uh...No, not THAT sack!! The one in your hand!
Oh right! This is my latest grand prize!! I won it in the 'Angry Asian Expo 2002.' I beat Margaret Cho for "Most Sarcastic Asian"!! It's a PS3! No one has one but me. OMG OMG !11111
You can't tell by my animation, but I'm stabbing you in the face...
Oh. Ok.....Well, Fuck...Um..Ouch......I guess...

 

by highwind
6-16-02
Shinanign finds a friend....
People say I look like Tidus!!!!
Who the fuck is Tidus?? How did you get in my secret cavern??
Well...I uh.....
????
Um...People say I look like Tidus!!!!
You're sooooo gonna get eaten by my robotic monkeys.......

 

by highwind
6-16-02
A chance meeting in the graveyard..
You can call me Bill Cosby.
Hey, Bill. I'm MisledJeff.
Do you like jello pudding??
I like to make emoticons....
So...wanna fuck?
I thought you'd NEVER ask!!!

 

by highwind
6-16-02
Cutter sees a female!!!!
I love you!!!!!!!!!!!! You love me????
Get outta here, freak.
He sees another!!!!
I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!! You love me????
Beat it, asshole!!!
Satisfaction!!
I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!! You love me????
Yes!!!!! I love you!!! Let's go sip grape cough syrup out of the same bottle with two straws!!!

 

by highwind
6-16-02
So anyway, I was just about to cross the road when all of a sudden...
Woah, woah. Hang on. You're a chicken, right??
Yeah, so what??
Well, I was just making sure you weren't BigRickCook or something random...because I'm really a dancing Hippo with a Top Hat and Cane...
Oh...Do you sing too??
Hell no. What do I look like? Fuckin' Liza Minelli?

 

by highwind
6-17-02
I'm pSyChoTic
So. Everyone is.
I can hack your computer!
I don't have a computer.
I love nuts in my mouth...
Me too. Just look at my T-shirt. Lemme go get my buddy Angelsboi and we'll hold each other's nuts in our cheeks.. (which cheeks, you ask?? That's for you to decide...)

 

by highwind
6-17-02
Hey Osiris, why do you always sit in that trash can?
What trash can? This is my body, asshole!!
Oh...um.....sorry. Can you help me with my computer?? The bearded lady downloaded tons of animal porn and I got viruses up my colorful ass!!
Ok. Hit Start > Cntrl > Alt > Prop > 1st Tab > Del all. If you got a virus killer use that but do live update and scan C:.. Fuck Quarantine, go for perm. del...
To tell ya the truth, I don't have a computer. I just wanted to see if "freak garbage boy" talked...
Oh. Well come close and I'll show you whats in my trash can. (it's a big knife...he's gonna kill the clown.. Ah fuck it, this comic sucks.)

 

by highwind
6-17-02
Um..hey Matt!!! What's up!! Hey, did you see the new Kevin Smith movie? It's awesome!!!
No way, Ryan. I don't like Kevin Smith movies. They suck.
Oh yeah, you're right. Me either. He's stupid!! I HATED Chasing Amy! It was so dumb.
I actually liked that one.
Yeah, me too. I was just kidding.. Heh.. So, I bought Waking Life last night!! That's my new favorite movie by far!!
Shut up.

 

by highwind
6-17-02
I don't understand how you can put so much faith into something that has become so bastardized as religion.
Shut up, stoner. You're ignorant for not reading the Bible like me!
How the hell does reading the Bible mean that you're smarter than me??
..............
Well??
Infidel!! I use proper english and can recite Bible passages!! You cannot fathom my intellect!! Go toke another doobie, pothead!!!

 

by highwind
6-18-02
One day in a field somewhere...
Hey, starmandx878. Why doesn't anyone make a comic for you??
I guess it's 'cause I have no personality..
Oh, man. That sucks. Why don't you just copy Blaze?? It's the cool thing to do!!
Hmm..........
One Week Later...
Hey, starmandx878!!! Found a personality yet??
Well yeah. But we have to debate, and you have to let me win. And I'm gonna listen to the Cardigans while we do it. Ok?

 

by highwind
6-18-02
Hey, Blitz. Who would you rather bang; Rosie O'Donnel or Oprah withour her makeup?
Um....Fat Oprah, or Skinny Oprah??
Oh, shit. I didn't think of that... Um..Medium Oprah..
Eh....Probably Oprah. I've never done a black chick!
Have you ever done ANY chick??
Uhhhh............. My shirt has the britsh flag on it!!!

 

by highwind
6-18-02
What's up, DarkJester.
Hey, man!
So.......
Yup!.............
Later, Dark Jester.
Later, man!

 

by highwind
6-18-02
I have a wonderful eye!
So? I give wonderful head.
I'm not wearing any pants!!
Well then. I'll give you head.
A whore with a sense of humor. That's rare these days...
Sucky, sucky!

 

by highwind
6-18-02
Dude!! Homosexuals are sooo gay!!
No shit, man!!
I mean, havin' sex with the same gender!! How totally gay is that?!?
THE GAYEST!!
Well....bend over. It's magic time!
Remember to use extra Astro-Glide!

 

by highwind
6-18-02
At the Animal Porn Audition Waiting Room.
I hear the competition is really tough for the audition
Yeah, but I got a donkey dick, I'm pretty confident.
The Last Actor Comes Back From His Audition
Holy shit!
Hahah! Suckers!!!!
The Actors Accept Their Imminent Defeat
So what are you gonna do now??
Shit, I don't know. Maybe Juan Valdez will have a come back tour..

 

by highwind
6-19-02
Jesus and Godhead are not role models, they're cartoons.
Uh huh huh, Hey Jesus, your mom never scrored. Huh huh. And neither will you.
Heh heh heh. Shut up, Godhead. I'm gonna score!!
Some of the things they do could cause a person to get hurt, arrested, or possibly deported.
Hey check it out, Jesus! You've got wood! Uh Huh Huh Huh
Heh, heh! Ooh yeah. Heh heh heh. BOI OI OI OI OING!!!
Tor put it another way, don't try this at home.
Uhh.. This sucks. Whatddya wanna do now?
Heh heh. Let's create some sluts!! And then shoot Stewart in the butt with lightning! Heh hehe heh.

 

by highwind
1-15-04
Hey, bitch. You feel the SERGE?
Gaa gaa Goo Goo!
Lemme just look up "gaa gaa goo goo" in my baby-translator here...
gaa gaa?
"Put all three of your horns in my virgin asshole before I snatch that cigarette out of your extinct mouth, motherfucker."
GAA GAA GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!

 

by highwind
1-15-04
Blitz goes incognito...
They'll never figure this out!! Username: KeyMasterSora.
Highwind smells a rat...
KeyMasterSora? Yo, that is WAY too gay NOT to be blitz. :::::::posts::::::: "hello blitz"
Blitz will spend another night crying himself to sleep...
:::::::Reads Post::::: "hello blitz" DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by highwind
1-15-04
A chance meeting in on the street...
Hey Jeremy LaCroix! It's me, Loki!! From the pavilion!!
I don't believe you! Show me some ID!!
Does it look like I carry ID? I don't have any fingers to hold ID, let alone pants to carry it!!
That's no excuse, "Loki." If that IS your real name...
Whatever man, I'm outta here.
Yeah, you just keep walkin' buddy.

 

by highwind
1-15-04
BigRickCook approaches a lady...
Hi I'm Rick. But you can call me......... "Big Rick Cook."
You're not so big. Hell, I'm taller than you...
He Swings!!!
I'm big where it counts, baby. :::wink:::
...uh huh...
...He Strikes Out
I'm talkin' about my PENIS!
...I'm late for a lesbian, uh, thing. Goodbye.

 

by highwind
1-15-04
Elysion tunes in to watch a special Fox News Bulletin!
We have reports that tell us that Al Queda has built a giant robotic dinosaur with laser beam eyes! As a result, the country will invade the Moon.
Oh my God!
The U.S. will construct a giant robotic meteor to drop on the robotic dinosaur from the Moon!
Oh my Jesus!
Oh yeah, and the robotic dinosaur is located in...paris.
Oh my Bush!!

 

by highwind
1-16-04
Bio Hunter trys to make amends...
Hey Fushigi, I wanna apologize.
^_^
Seriously, though. You're cool. I dig those hot chicks you draw.
Those are men.
Hey, my motto is: "Even if it looks shady, just pretend it's a lady."
o_O

 

by highwind
1-16-04
Master Slow Poke searchs for a friend...
Hello?? Valk?? Where are you??
i'm. down. here.
What're you doin' down in that sewer??
scaring. children.
Well, I brought you the three pounds of ground beef, duct tape, broken light bulbs, and carpet samples you asked for.
good. now go grab my go-kart and a stop watch and don't call an ambulance until you hear me say "optimus down! optimus down!"

 

by highwind
1-16-04
Staffmaster seeks wisdom...
Almighty Goat! I've finally reached you!
I've searched long and hard to seek your wisdom! I have an important question to ask you that has been plaguing my soul.
???
Do you think this pink thing on my staff looks like a girl's woo woo?
...yes.

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