All comics by jewtoy

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by jewtoy
5-17-06
I like Rabbits.
Arrgh!! I be thinkin about cuttin off your arm.
Arrrgh! He really be upsetting me
I SAID I LIKE RABBITS!!!
I best be walkin away from this one

 

by jewtoy
2-24-07
Your parents are both dead, there was nothing I could do.....I'm sorry.
But, we only came in for my mothers ultrasound!
Funny thing, turns out the umborn fetus was a demon child not of this dimension. We had to put down the host and the carrier.
Are you even a real doctor?
If by doctor you mean, THANOS Keeper of the Light, then yes...I'll be a doctor.

 

by jewtoy
2-25-07
Hey kids...I'm Smokey and I'm here to tell you that smoking is cool and healthy.
But Smokey, How can inhaling chemically enhanced to tobacco products and its biproduct be health

 

by jewtoy
2-25-07
Did you go to SLAYER on friday?
SLAYER blows! I went to TOOL
You're a TOOL!
Yeah, ...well your a Slayer.
brought to you by SLAYER!!!!
..........??
You're right, I'm a tool.

 

by jewtoy
2-25-07
Fraid, I'm gonna have to write you a ticket.
This is because I'm a lesbian isn't it?
You're a dyke huh? I thought that mustache was poorly kept.
You're a sexist pig!
Do you know MSNBC'S Rita Crosby?

 

by jewtoy
2-25-07
and then he touched me with his hands....down there.
I'm ashamed and might hurt myself or others.....and I can't help but feel like I put myself in these situations. Aren't you going to say anything?
I have some chocolate candies in the storage room.
dark chocolate?

 

by jewtoy
2-25-07
In North Korea we barely eat. Instead of Barbie, we have barbed wire.
Near the North Pole we live and play in snow. I eat baby seals all the time.
But, in America we both run conveniant stores--
now I eat cats!

 

by jewtoy
2-25-07
At the Office
Letter for Mr. Bob Whitefield......Mr Bob Whitefield??
Yo dawg....I'm Bob Whitefield.
But you're an African American.
And you're a nutjob cracker!
I paint my toenails !

 

by jewtoy
2-28-07
Wanna touch my kitty cat?
Wanna touch me?
If I touch you will you give me candy?

 

by jewtoy
3-02-07
Yo granny! Wanna make some money?
Aren't you a sweet thing, but I haven't turned a trick since Roosevelt was running things.
You so old I bet its like dried leather down there.
No, Its 4:30!
I said dried leather!
Bad weather? not really.

 

by jewtoy
3-02-07
.....and my bass player won't practice but I can't fire him cuz he's my friend.
???
I'm a rockstar ya know. I met Billy Idol once. We're friends on myspace now. I call him all the time.
???
Do you prefer breasts or the butt?
Will you just turn the pump on now, I need to refuel.

 

by jewtoy
3-02-07
So did you and Jim go all the way last night? You have a certain glow today.
You're probably just refering to the vinegar that I have smothered on my body.
Vinegar?
Jim says that a rotten tramp like me needs to smell the part.
He treats you so bad.
He just keeps me in line. Pushing me down stairs means hes hungry and wants dinner.

 

by jewtoy
3-02-07
Says here you can walk on water, and heal those that need healing.
..and that your infinite love will guide those who need guiding.
uh dude, I had 3 chimichanga's last night and the evil is trying to escape my colon.....you mind.

 

by jewtoy
3-03-07
Oh my god man....get back....geez....I what are you????...some kinda freak?
I want to eat your brains.
Oh mygod....no!
Just kidding...Bob Dole.

 

by jewtoy
3-03-07
Young hot singles in your area..AdultFriendFinder.com
ooh Natasha, looking good.
only 35.99 a month
Natasha you whore!

 

by jewtoy
3-03-07
Tom is your friend
Whats up Tom, wanna hang this weekend.
Network error, Tom is working on server.
So...shoot some hoops?

 

by jewtoy
3-04-07
Hi, I'm a PC
And I'm a Mac
I do lame boring stuff like keeping track of Apple's stock and financial records.
I'm hip and artsy. I do cool stuff like play music.
Your hip and artsy marketing campaign is costing you millions in adult consumers. They make up 87% of computer users.
I was in Dodgeball....sweet!

 

by jewtoy
2-27-08
What choo want man!
You angry wit me or sumptin?
I found your puppy.

 

by jewtoy
2-27-08
And Britney Spears lost her keys today..she couldn't start her car to go home. What a stupid whore..check out the video.
Ah..Preash.net, greatest contribution to society yet!
Hey bloggers, remember Slater from Saved by the Bell? He made a porn....Check it out!

 

by jewtoy
2-27-08
Hey Lee, Did you catch dateline last night? They said Asians live up to more stereotypes than any other race.
So I guess that means you eat dogs...huh?
I will take your heart first!

 

by jewtoy
2-27-08
If I don't think about him, He'll just go away.
Peanut Butter?
I don't have any DAMN PEANUT BUTTER !!!!!!

 

by jewtoy
3-07-08
2000 yrs ago
What do you think you're doing my son?
Its cool Bro. I'm you from the future. In 2013 Christianity hits a dry spell and the world loses their faith. I resorted to some crazy shit to make people believe again.
I found that Crystal Meth regains peoples trust in me and the good book. But dammit if I didn't get hooked!

 

by jewtoy
3-07-08
Man, I could sure go for some Ramen right now
Too bad I spent my last few bucks on that hooker with a mustache last night.
Wait a minute.......I do have some Ramen left!

 

by jewtoy
3-07-08
I couldn't agree more. Animal Cruelty has gone on for too long, and our elected officials need to step in and take some action.
I'm actually lying through my teeth right now. I hate animals, especially cats.
Later...
Asian Bukkake? Sounds fun.

 

by jewtoy
3-12-08
I've come for your Soul!
But the females of my species just learned how to give Rad BJ's
I can wait....

 

by jewtoy
3-14-08
It was a cocktail of horse tranquilizers and low-grade industrial strength cleaning solvents, taken with a syringe between the toes, that first sparked the idea .
I need more THIMBLES!
Little did Rich Uncle Penny Bag's know that he would change the world forever.
You see constable, I have one free pass to get out of jail !
Thus, the children's game of MONOPOLY was born.
I'll take Baltic Avenue for 500...Alex.

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