All comics by jjwings12

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
Eh, such a lovely day out.
Ooh...I don't feel so well.
...Damnit...I missed my chance again. I can't perform under pressure.

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
Well Tim, it seems you've only successfully carried out 12 deaths this week. That puts you 9,088 off the pace.
Am I in any danger of losing my job?
Uhm. No...well...not really.
I'm gonna get back to work.
Later, Tim.
*Sigh*

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
*Baa*
*Slash*
I mean...I guess it's a start.
*Baa?*

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
Woah...
Aww. Shit.
Are you alright sir?

 

Why are you looking for a job here?
Well, once that damn roadrunner started taking steroids, I knew it was time to throw in the towel.
by jjwings12, 1-11-12

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
You can just set the mail on the table.
What do you have for me today
A letter from CPS telling you they're taking away your child.

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
Whatcha looking for?
Clues, dumbass.
What kind of clues?
Footprints, wallets, fingerprints, weapons. All that. Please go away.
Well uhm...good luck finding the guy who did all this. He could be closer than you think.
Get lost kid.

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
Sometime in the future when virtual reality games were commonly played.
Come on hurry up I don't have much time.
This level isn't as easy as it looks okay?!
Ugh...you're terrible. Let me try!
I could just kill you.
I'd just come back to life in 15 seconds.
I'm not talking about the game, Jerry.

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
Hello sir, welcome to the altar.
*PUNCH*
Agh! Sir I'm going to have to ask you to stop--
*SMACK*
>:(
*THWACK*

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
Alright, you all set to trick or treat?
I'm not leaving while your wearing that ridiculous costume.
Oh please, like yours is any better.
That's it...no sex for you tonight.
Dammit Sharon come on.
You're a sad excuse for a superhero, Harold.

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
*squirm*
*squirt*
Well this is awkward.
*wiggle*

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
Thank you everybody for coming out tonight!
So, why did the boy drop his icecream?
Because he got hit by a bus!

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
Ok folks, I just need somebody brave to please come up and have a seat.
Don't worry, it won't hurt...
Alright...it'll hurt for a couple hours...but I'll throw in some coupons for free surgeries in the future. Please, come up.

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
Mark, who's in our yard?
Don't worry. I'm sure it's nothing.
Please go out and check!
Why don't you just use laser vision or something stupid?
Stereotypes like that are very, very offensive.

 

Dammit...I fell again.
by jjwings12, 1-11-12

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
How am I gonna explain this on to mom and dad?

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
I told you I don't need a therapist.
I'm here to help you. You can tell me anything.
No.
Has anything been troubling you lately?
...well, actually there's this new goat in the barnyard...

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
So this is what my daughter meant when she told me she was out "playing with a bunny she found."
Pedophile rabbit wins again.
Pretty much. Whatcha gonna do about it?

 

So you said there was a doctor left who could deliver my baby?
Yeah he was somewhere over here just a minute ago...
by jjwings12, 1-11-12

 

by jjwings12
1-11-12
I do.
I do.
You may now kiss the bride.

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