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| Chaos at the North Pole tonight when one of Santa's reindeer snapped and went on a shooting spree. Donner, Comet and 16 Elves are dead. | |
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| Vixen and Prancer were seriously wounded. Santa is making his run with a skeleton crew of Cupid, Blitzen, Rudolph and Dasher. | |
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| The crazed reindeer is believed to be heavily armed, and flying in the direction of former child star Billy Mumy's house. | |
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| DANCER! DANCER, WILL ROBINSON! | |
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