All comics by longpig2go

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by longpig2go
2-11-04
Little Girl, feast your eyes on the destruction I hath wrought upon the earth.
OK
No, look! With the wave of my hand I brought Human civilization to it's knees.
Uh huh.
Little Girl, can't you see how powerful I am, how Evil I am. Why aren't you scared of me?
I can see your weiner.

 

by longpig2go
2-11-04
What's This!? She's Leaving Me? For Ronaldo, Who's Ronaldo?
Excuse me Sir, but this hamburger has pickles on it, and I clearly stated that I can't eat pickles because of my allergies and there's still pickles on my hamburger.
And she's moving to Spain? She always told me how much she hated Europe, and now this!?
Sir, Sir. I don't think he can hear me. Nobody listens to me, I might as well be dead. Why is life so hard to understand? I'm going Home!
Now, Where did I put that hammer and nail?
Oh well, at least I have my internet and my lotion, they'll always be there for me.

 

by longpig2go
2-12-04
Good Day Human! Do you know where I may find some 10W-30 to quench my squeaking bolts.
10W-30, 10W-30. Mmmm, yeah, uh, I don't know, let's see, lets' see. 10W-30, 10W-30, huh.
Please Hurry, It burns!
Burns? Huh, ummmm, I don't know. Let's see, let's see. Burns, burns. Oh, Yeah! Oil.
Randall does his part to prevent Robot Domination
Must you torment me with your species' horrible calculatory inefficiencies you fleshy orb of water and protein.
Right, right, I don't know, I don't know. Let's see. Hummmmm.

 

by longpig2go
2-12-04
Hey, Tom Cruise!
Wow, you're Barry Williams, Greg Brady on TV's the Brady Bunch!
Yup!
What's with the Union Jack vest?
It's a Political Statement.
Touche'

 

by longpig2go
2-13-04
All work and no play makes...
Jack, I need to talk to you outside.
Yeah, what's up.
Jack, I don't know how to say this. Well, yes I do. I had sex with your brother.
I don't even have a brother!
Then it was just some guy, I guess.

 

by longpig2go
2-13-04
Hot Space Station Justice
Rock and Roll Reggae Balloon Star
Bizarre Must Awesome Want
Outrageous Bay Leaf Power
Delicious Motor Pocket Album
I've got nothing!

 

by longpig2go
2-13-04
Oh, no. Here he comes. I know he wants this seat, but damnit, it's mine this time. MINE!
C'mon, c'mon just try you asshole, gimme a reason.
Today sucks!
That's right bitch, MINE!

 

by longpig2go
2-13-04
So, anyway I said to Kenneth, " Poofy is allergic to fish so you can't keep giving her fish flavored Kibbles-n-Bits and he was like, Oh my God lay off me, please!"
Queer
And I was like, 'Clearly Poofy means nothing to a lazy slob like you!' because Kenneth is the worst slob I have EVER lived with, oh my God! You should see his car! Eww!
Damn Queer
Any way, so, like where are you from?
Kentucky

 

by longpig2go
2-18-04
"KNOCK- KNOCK!"
Who's there?
Aww, Shit!
Don't feel guilty, and don't be it's bitch.
Did I just see you reading a book!?!
No, no I swear, there's no book. I was just looking at the TV guide, yeah that's it, TV guide.

 

by longpig2go
2-18-04
Hmmmmmm.
You got a quarter?
Nope.
But I do have a hammer, a nail and insecticide for blood.

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