All comics by melvin2345

 

by melvin2345
1-16-08
Hey Jeff, did you hear about the big merger?
What fuckin merger?
We're merging with GloboCon Tech. Starting next month, all their people will be in this building with us.
Not if they don't make it through the night......
Jeff, you can't just murder all your problems away.
I could if you'd let me.

 

by melvin2345
1-16-08
Hey Jeff.
AHA!! Steve. You'll help me right?
Of course not. You freak me out man. What is it you needed help with anyway?
Well I was going to stop the unholy merger with GloboCon Tech, but instead I must deal with a traitor to the cause!
I hate this place.
You brought this on yourself!!!

 

by melvin2345
1-16-08
I'm telling you that guy is crazy.
So he actually kicked your ass?
Yeah, he's a friggin nut case.
!!!
That's not a very nice thing to say Steve.
Dammit......

 

by melvin2345
1-16-08
Hey Jeff, what are you doing with all those paper clips?
Can you keep a secret?
Nope.
...
So you gonna tell me whats going on or not?

 

by melvin2345
1-16-08
Excuse me sir. Some guy named Jeff just attacked me with paper clips, and took my chair.
Are you sure it wasn't just a misunderstanding?
I don't think so. He said if he saw me near him again he would take my briefcase and shove it up my ass.
Hey hey. I'm sure it was some simple razzing of the new guy.
If you say so....
That's the attitude sport! But just in case Jeff decides to pull en encore of June 2005, I'm gonna ask you sign this waiver.

 

by melvin2345
1-16-08
I told you what would happen if I saw you near me again right?
But Mr. Perkins said you did all that as a joke.
You told on me!! You know what happens now right?
What?! You can't possibly be serious about shoving my briefcase up my ...
How's that feel cupcake.
OH MY GOD!!! How did you get it in sideways!!!!

 

by melvin2345
1-16-08
Jeff, do you know why I've called you in here today?
You're too stupid to do the job for which you are paid 3 times what I make, so you get me to do it for you so you can leave early and bang your wife.
Touche.

 

by melvin2345
1-16-08
I asked you in here to talk about what you did to Kyle.
Who the hell is Kyle?
He's the young man you assulted earlier when you shoved his briefcase up his ... Where are you going?!
You're really boring. Talk to my assistant about this.
Who are you?
Just a guy.

 

by melvin2345
1-16-08
Mr. Perkins is really pissed at you man. You better lay low for a while.
He won't be bothering me for a while.
How can you be so sure?
I've given him something else to worry about.
Who the fuck are you and how did you get in my house?
I hear you like to party......

 

by melvin2345
1-17-08
So if you look at this next flow chart I've drawn, you'll see how different my style of management is from the last guy.
So.
So that means I'll be switching things up and you and your team will have to get used to doing things a different way.
Is that so?
Was this really necessary?
You left me no choice.

 

by melvin2345
1-17-08
Now Jeff, we need you to be more of a team player during this merger.
I hate your face.
There is a lot going on, and it would be just great if you could be a little nicer to the new people coming on board.
Throwing paper clips and setting people on fire is as nice as I get.
So let's put on our happy face and start spreading some company cheer. Remember, we're all one big family here.
I wish science would develop a way for me to kill you more than once.

 

by melvin2345
1-17-08
Got any spare change?
If I did I would have thrown it at your face already.
C'mon man, just a couple bucks, no big deal!
Yeah, you wait here, I'll be right back.
Is that guy coming back with my change?
You smell like pee.

 

Would you hurry the fuck up and die already. I can't eat you while you're still squirming, it's creepy.
by melvin2345, 1-17-08

 

by melvin2345
1-25-08
Based on witnessed events...
For too long we have lived in fear of what awaits us when we step foot outside of our humble homes.
Oh christ....
Dear sir, won't you help us defeat the scourge that lies in wait just outside the safety of the Newland City walls?
Don't ever talk to me again you fuckin fairy.
Dude, that isn't necessary. I'm just trying to make the game more interesting. I'm gonna petition you for harassing me.
Go ahead. I'm gonna petition you for trying to infect me with super ultra mega gay.

 

by melvin2345
6-08-11
Just wanted to give you a heads up. I'll be sending you an e-mail later regarding the changes to the new product specs.
I don't need a god damn heads up, just send the e-mail dipshit.
Well?
Ok, sounds good. I'll just stop by after you get it so we can go over the details. I just want to make sure it all makes sense.
Unless you plan on writing it in latin, I'll understand it just fine. I don't want to talk to you anymore today!

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