All comics by neema

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Yeah, this one time I saw a car go screaming down the street, and off the side of the road. It hit some steps and flipped up into the air where it burst into flames and came crashing down into a swimming pool where it slowly sank to the bottom. I could see some guy in the driver seat freaking out trying to get his seat belt off so he could escape. He really looked like he needed some help, but I was too busy thinking about other people that I wished were in his position.

Andrei's sex life.

by neema
1-28-01

Here we come upon Farmer Andrei and his talking goat.


	Farmer Andrei, you realize your farming methods aren't in the least bit efficent.


	Uh, K...


	Your fertilizer gets half the goats sick, which prohibits growth and fertile milk production. Your "scraps" you feed the chickens is actually old shoelaces and you abuse the animals by beating them.


	And I guess my raping you up the ass don't help none either?


	No, no, that can continue.


	Yeeeeehaw!

The people that teach our schools...

by neema
1-28-01

Enter: A middle age, fat ass school teacher at a local high school and an Alien disguised as a TV.


	Awww shit, ain't nothing on TV no more.


	The earthlings are losing their trance status with me. I must devise another plan...


	Shit, I guess I'll turn the TV off and read a book or some.....


	This just in! Exclusive girl's room toilet cam found! Snapshots on the news at 11!


	Well, it's 6 now... I guess I can wait 5 more hours.


	Alien-Tv... sometimes you amaze yourself.

Alien-TV Attacks!

by neema
1-28-01

Enter: A small girl and Alien-Tv, the alien disguised as a TV.


	Yay, Pokemon!


	"...Gotta catch 'em all!... on this episode, Ash and Pikachu run into some trouble on Snorlax island..."


	Awwww! I already saw this episode before... I'm going to call Billy and Sarah so they can play outside instead!


	WHAT YOU SAY BITCH?


	AHHHHHHHH!


	Charmander action beeyach.

Alien-TV and Ricky Martin.

by neema
1-28-01

Alien-TV's mission: Hypnotize the humans with gay ass music.


	Yeah, this music is the greatest!


	"bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh, Livin' la vida loca! Bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh, Livin' la vida loca!"


	Getting my groove on!


	Hey! You got to stop that. Come on man... your diginity! HEY! I said stop... stop.... fine.


	HELP! MY EYES! AHHHHHHhhhhh...h...h......


	Alien-TV to mothership: Mission Failed due to circumstances out of my control.

Trippin' balls.

by neema
1-28-01


	What's up with you man?


	Shit girl... I'm tripping my balls off from this drink.... shit... I'm seeing shit


	Really? Like What?


	Shit girl! People are getting killed all over the place. My grandma just got beaten to death! They killed my dog! The pain is too much, I'll tear my flesh off! And you look like a donkey!


	What drink was that again?


	Yoohoo. Why?

Does anyone hear the Twilight Zone theme playing?

by neema
1-29-01

Enter: After being killed by Alien-TV, this man was sent to hell to pay for listening and actually liking Ricky Martin music. Here we have Satan discussing his various plausible torture scenarios.


	Ok.... so run the tortures by me again.... one of those don't seem very torture and pain like....


	Again? Ok, we saw the whips for 300 year thing, beaten by images of your enemies for 32871 years, having your penis castrated and regrown for 567 years and the blowjob that lasts 1023 years.


	Are you kidding me? The blowjob, obviously! I saw the girl, she was pretty hot! That lucky bastard that was getting it! Hell yeah, I'm going to love hell!


	Ah.... ok, if you're sure. It will last 1023 years though... the person currently in is just finishing up... I guess we can set that up right now. Let me tell them they're done.


	Ok, we found a replacement for you.... you may go.


	Thank god... my jaw was beginning to hurt. Who's the sucker who's going to be giving head to that guy for 1023 years?

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