All comics by nelix

Profile

 

by nelix
1-31-03
Whoa dude check out the crazy colors
You Got any ZMA
this guy can't handle ZMA
I heard that
I'm pointing at your pecker

 

by nelix
1-31-03
How's that black thing working out for yeah?
I'm not black
But your skin color
I'm an african american
Uza Sooper Dooper Pimp
Got any crack....for my crack

 

by nelix
1-31-03
Tenacious D
I'm telling you dude. Jack Black smokes pole
No way man Tenacious D Rocks!
I'm telling you dude. Jack Black smokes pole
With karate I kicked your ass...oh yeah motherfucker
Gay....

 

by nelix
1-31-03
Tenacious D 2
kyle betrayed me
NWO was the greatest storyline ever
then he lied tried to hide
OWEN!
and I died deep inside and you know the reason why
pull my finger

 

by nelix
1-31-03
The truth and nothing but
GayPorn.com has really gone down hill
Hey dude whatcha up to
Pee on me
You sure you can handle all the pressure in this great big hose?
Please pee on me

 

by nelix
1-31-03
6:30 PM
Go to bed
8:27 AM
Go to work
9:15 AM Saturday
Go to Langley

 

by nelix
1-31-03
One man to another
So then I says to her 3rd leg!
I can see where this is headed
One man to another
I'm lucky if I can get up with 2
uh huh go on
One man to another
that's it
You Suck, DIE DIE DIE

 

by nelix
1-31-03
Suuuuper Pimp
Hey baby what's your name
Suuuuper Pimp
Do you want to ride the train
Suuuuper Pimp
Welcome to the fast lane
I'm getting wet

 

by nelix
1-31-03
You see the thing about lizards is that we're not all about our looks.
really
We're actually pretty LARGE in the sack
well its not all about size
Flux
I'm so in

 

by nelix
1-31-03
The setup
I don't know. I've never had sex with a cigarette before
Smoking!
Considering
I guess it could be fun
Alll Right
The Act
It burns it burns
Just wait until you pee

 

by nelix
1-31-03
A night at the comedy club
So i says to him I says to him...
This aint some barn yard in the wheat fields of alberta. Turn the fan on when you're finished
I tell jokes because I feel inadequate sexually. My Anus is bleeding
get off the stage!

 

by nelix
1-31-03
Flux why must you insist on me being gay?
You!
When clearly I like women
You're Right
hey buddy eyes above the waste

 

by nelix
1-31-03
Clearing the air
I'd like to clear this up once and for all.
ok
for once
Clear the air so to speak
I like it rough
and for all
I'm not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I'm a total fudgepacker

 

by nelix
1-31-03
It feels so good to finally clear the air
I ting me be too much women for you.
I'll split you like a lumberjack splits wood
oooOOoo I ting I change my small asian mind
Oh no it's you
You mind if I get first dibs on dry humping that sexy rock back there? As you know I'm a total man slut.

 

by nelix
1-31-03
Can't we just call a truce on this entire thing?
I'm not talking to you
I'm not gay. You're not gay what's the big problem?
I've smoked a snausage or two in my day.
It's ok, I don't judge you
I wish I had big problems. All my problems are small...extra small.

 

by nelix
2-01-03
Introduction
oh baby back that ass up
oh god please no
You're one fine piece of impressionable young dark meat
I pray to you jesus please, please help me now
how'd you like to pull my finger

 

by nelix
2-01-03
The apology
whoa geez sorry about that dude
it's ok happens all the time
haha just kidding
god not again
you're still one sexy piece of man meat though
must... not... look at sack...

 

by nelix
2-01-03
Did somebody say goat
Please...don't blame me I was paid to say those untrue things about Nelix
Whoad buddy that's to much info. I just came...well for the goat
Well I'll just be leaving now
Oh no you wont. BLAMO!
I'm fucked

 

by nelix
2-01-03
Yo Biznitch! Your biznitch is the shiznitz
He's making me feel uncomfortable
Mam is this African American gentlement bothering you?
Why yes he certainly is. Can you help me?
Sure! BLAMO!
eeee ee oo ah ah ah

 

by nelix
2-01-03
Will flux accept the quest
Hey do you want to play lord of the rings with me?
With you? I dunno you like a little ripe...ahh I mean young.
We have to destroy the ring and save the universe
Yeah I had a ring once that caused me a WHOLE WORLD of pain.
TO be continued...
Please sir. Don't make this quest out to be another one of your gay adventures. It's important that we complete our quest. All of mankind is depending on us.
All men eh...hmm well maybe this is something I can do. But I have to know first. Is that a bow on your back or are you just happy to see me?

 

by nelix
2-01-03
Flux avoids the situation
What the fuck dude. I thought we called a truce on this shit.
Oh shit, I better get out of here.
All this talk about goats and sex. What kind of sick freak are you?
You're right. I'm a total homophob
You got a sweet ASS!
Oh shit, I better get out of here.

 

by nelix
2-01-03
BB Kings - "The Thirll is gone" plays in the backset
It's not you. It's it's me.
EEEEOOOH EEEEOOH
Don't look at me like that. I told you this was just going to be a fun thing. I'm not looking for a long term relationship.
EEEEOOOH EEEEOOH
Little Kims - "Slob on my Knob" blasting in the background
Hey I'm not paying you to sit there and look pretty. Lets get this party started. Terrace Style!

 

by nelix
2-01-03
Meeting in a deep dark cave in terrace
Hey Baby. Whatcha going to do with that broom.
I was just getting ready to clean my Terrace Shanty Out
What would you say to a lemon, some baking soda, and a side of roast.
Sounds like a party
Fade back to reality
Bad chicken. Bad chicken. How you going to make it up to daddy.
Lets just hope his pecker is longer then that fingers he's holding out.

 

by nelix
2-01-03
Not....real...nelix...character
Can...feeel...body...changing
The New Nelix
That's more like it

 

by nelix
2-01-03
Flux on the prowl
Hey are you Pete Pecker? I loved you on gayporn.com
Who the fuck is this guy
BLAMO - I just cast my gay spell on you.
Feel so cold...so dirty...so used
k your turn. Do me do me
ur going to get it demon style

 

by nelix
2-04-03
Viking history show
The vikings raped and pillaged small children right in this very area.
wow this show is awesome
Channel change to CSI Miami
No sign of forced entry chief.....I wouldn't say that, check out the raw ring around our victims ass
oh yeah this is hot
Channel change to ER
Doctor he may not live. It looks like he has a serious case of male ass pounding.
WHoa dude, I've so been there.

 

by nelix
2-04-03
In the ghetto
I can offer you two of dem ho's for the price of one.
I dunno I'm not really into girls
Girls...boys...goats, whatever you're into
Hey now you're talking
I'll go find you my finest goat
Awesome, I'll go get ur money

 

by nelix
2-04-03
FAT ABBOT
Hey Hey Hey what's going out Rudy?
Man Fat Abbot you need to lose some weight
I'll lose weight when I feel like it bitch. Shut your bitch mouth ho
Bitch i'll kick your ass
You think you slick you punk ass, dope fiend bitch, I had my jimmy whacked 7 times last week.

 

by nelix
2-11-03
Flux points the finger
You stole my chicken jerk!
....
You stole my conditioner ass
...
And finally we see the truth
oooh its so true
You take it in the Ass. Fag!

 

by nelix
2-22-03
Black man whistling a tune
Mr. Cab driver won't stop to let me in

 

by nelix
2-22-03
Black man whistling to himself
Mr. Cab driver won't stop to let me in
Mr. Cab driver don't like the color of my skin.
The truth revealed
bigot
ooga boooga booga

 

by nelix
2-22-03
Ordering a pizza
Umm excuse me Sir...I was going to order a pizza. And well..being as 2 larges are cheaper then 1 I was wondering if you wanted to have something.
Sure buddy get me a hot and spicy...you know how I like my spices
Wow really, ok, you're my best friend
Hey no problem any time
Pizza arives
Wasn't that good pizza?
Fuck you bitch. Stupid cunt ass mother fucker. Your moms a whore. Now go to bed

 

by nelix
2-23-03
Dude I just spent $600 on a stereo. It's pretty dope but man that shits expensive.
Well I think the money could have been better spent
How the fuck are you going to tell me how to spend my money???
Hey I'm just saying that I could use a DVD burner right about now
Is it always about you?
Yeah...well I'm pretty gay. Hey does my ass look big in these pants?

 

by nelix
3-15-03
Flux is watching OZ
We now return to HBO's OZ as we join a riot in progress
Whoa this show is awesome. Look at Tobias he's going crazy. You get him Schillinger that's my boy!
Homosexual Scene in Cell Block B
Meanwhile back in cell block B
Oh yeah, that's hot. Oh oh oh, he's not going to put it there...oooh he did. Oh yeah that's how daddy likes it.
Shows Over
Join us next week for more homosexual fist pounding action.
I can hardly wait

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