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| Every time he wipes his ass the toilet paper stays clean | |
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| His bathroom floor gets warmer at night; so does the toilet seat. | |
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| Entire arcades switch to free play in his presence. | |
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| All highscores in all arcades are held by him. | |
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| His neice testified in court that she raped him. He is, the most Interesting Man in the World. | |
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| I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I always drink Tres Equis. | |
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