They exist! by shadowcat7-16-03 Oohhhh.. ohhhhhhh... OH!!!!!!!!! Wtf.. what the hell is a masturbating robot doing in my room... AHHH!!!!!! I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this YES YES YES YES YES YES YES Maybe he's doing an Herbal Essences commercial.. but that doesn't explain his.. pincer.. things....
Porn is godly by shadowcat7-16-03 Man, wtf are you doing? What does it look like I'm doing? I always wondered why they came out with hand lotion and dirty movies in the same room You thought that was a coincidence?
Attitude by shadowcat7-16-03 So explain to me why the hell there's a desk and computer in the middle of the sidewalk Modern technology, okay? Where do you plug it in? ...UP YOUR ASS, OKAY!? I'm leaving God, thank you
Disturbed Paper Clip by shadowcat7-16-03 Hi! I'm your local sodding paper clip here to annoy you with various questions about things that you already know how to do and so on! Man, did I call you, you little shit head? I come with your newest version of Microsoft Word For Bastards, and... Turn into something useful, would you? And that is why Microsoft Word sucks. Sweat, baby, sweat, baby, sex is a— What did I do to deserve this shit?
Heaven vs. Hell by shadowcat7-16-03 As the world ends, Cat approaches Jesus... So, man, you're telling me that if I follow you I'll get free beer and chicks for life? I merely said you'll experience life the way it should have been! ....... ...besides.. you lose your genatalia when you become an angel... here, let me tell you a story of how it all came to be... ...and finds Heaven is not the Garden of Eden after all. I wonder if there's an opening in Hell ...and.....so......... ..... it was... amazing...... and...... shiny....... orange.... balls...... .. and I...
Another Species by shadowcat7-16-03 Hey, man.. would you ever suck on the tit of another species? Well, I have found cows quite attractive now and then You're a sick fuck, you know that? At least I don't still cry when Bambi's mother dies
Lesbians are cool by shadowcat7-16-03 Fuck you. Fuck you harder. ........ ........ ...shag me? I thought you'd never ask
Don't mess with Pirate Skels by shadowcat7-16-03 ARRRRRRR!!!!! BLOOD!@!#@%$! Fucking hell. What the shit is a pirate doing on my sailboat? I'm from the Caribbean. HAND OVER THOSE POISON SPORES! You're a crackhead, you know that? ....wanna go get a donut or something? I think I'm hallucinating
Cheese is deadly by shadowcat7-16-03 Holy shit man. What happened to you? Cheese. You're lactose intolerant? No... some jackass shoved it up my ass then tore it out and forced it down my throat... I'm going to be sick. See what I mean?
Careful what you wish for by shadowcat7-16-03 This is fucking awesome. I'm in the middle of nowhere with a tv that I don't have to pay for.. and it has cable too! ...and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a faithful trip! That started on this tropic port, aboard this tiny ship.... Man.. if only I had pizza too.. ...five passengers set sail that day for a three hour tour.. a three hour tour... Aw shit.. I meant instant pizza... not fucking delivery.. goddammit Just make use of what you have, moron.
Think before you act... by shadowcat7-16-03 Did you do it yet? For the last goddamn time, I AM NOT GOING TO SEARCH FOR TAMPONS FOR YOU! We'll see. ....... Man, why do I have to be such a fucking dick... she's probably gonna make me sleep on the couch... FUCK! I WON'T GET PUSSY FOR WEEKS! PMS sucks, doesn't it?
Damn you iRO... by shadowcat7-16-03 Dear iRO users, Aw.. what now... Larcy: GRAVITY!!!!!!!! ><;;;;;; Give it to me straight. What's wrong? (Mumbled cuss words) ...fuck you, bye. /swt /swt
Eva's Chicken Dance by shadowcat8-01-03 I'm short. So that must mean, I'm Krissy. I don't wanna buy a lock, I'm a chicken in a flock, so I BASHED YOUR COCK! Na na na na... Eva, stop... wait a minute, who the hell are you? Eva's a girl... I don't wanna wear a lace, I don't wanna keep a pace, so I SHOT YOUR FACE! Na na na na! ... Turn the volume up a notch, I don't wanna buy a watch, so I kicked your crotch, na na na na...
I was about to sit on it too!!!!! by shadowcat8-22-03 Owie.. my leg hurts... I'm sorry I sat on it and it went numb.. why are you sorry? WELL I WAS ABOUT TO SIT ON YOUR LEG TOO!!!! .......
Fo'shizzle~ by shadowcat9-17-03 You know... It really amazes me how there's a show called Doggy Fizzle Televizzle. Once again, Snoop Dogg kills the conversation. Kinda like Martha Stewart.
Driving into.. what? by shadowcat9-17-03 Talking about road skillz with Krissy one day~ I don't really trust young drivers. Yeah, even after a few years, they still don't completely have the hang of driving. D00d, I rawk when I drive. As it happens, Dan over heard. You hit rocks?
Smart Bird by shadowcat9-20-03 Tweet. Tweet. TWEET GOD DAMN YOU TWEET!!! I guess animals really are intelligent after all
Damn you Snoop Dogg. by shadowcat9-29-03 Doggy Fizzle iz off da hizzle fo shizzle dizzle. Whoa, what happened to you? Made the mistake of watching Doggy Fizzle Televizzle, shizzle yo? Do you even know what the fuck you're saying? FO SHIZZLE MA DIZZLES MA NIZZLE DO DOUBLE SHIZZLE IZ DA FIZZLE WHIZZLE MAH NIZZLES!!
I hate Bill Gates by shadowcat11-02-03 I have a five year old 16 GB computer. I needed to delete some shit on it, but it was spazzing out so I decided to try to defragment the drive. 0% DEFRAG WORK DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU DAMN YOU!!!!!! Five hours later 0% Maybe I should run a system scan A day later Your entire disk drive is fucked. Have a nice day.
I still hate Bill Gates by shadowcat11-02-03 Ripter: what happened? Me: I hate Bill Gates. He does nothing but cause problems. Ripter: would you have met me if it wasn't for Bill Gates? O_o ... (Ripter is a psycho) Me: think about that one for a while