All comics by shutyourmouthgirl

 

metal anecdotes. by shutyourmouthgirl 2-13-03
let me tell you something about rock music. if it aint got wah wah pedals and the words "cooper" or "cult" in the band name, it aint worth listening to. youre telling me, buddy....give me five!	yeah...so then..i like drank the whole keg by myself. it was pretty effing cool. so..you like bonfires? one time i lit this thing on fire and.... que? no hablo ingles. me gusta the smiths.	yep. dude. one time i touched chris cornell's goatee. he gave me a thumbs up and everything and then we partied in his hotel room and trashed his television set. well. that almost happened.

 

trouble and nothing loves me. by shutyourmouthgirl 2-18-03
i am about to send out this letter. "hey little girl. i wanna be your boyfriend..." i hope that sounds ok. i mean..it worked for joey r.	i wait for a response. nothing happens. i have no reason to live without this person. i wish i were dead. she hates me.	ive hammered a nail into my cerebellum for nothing. i am in heaven and she still hates me.

 

i have no talent. by shutyourmouthgirl 2-25-03
yo.	you're ignoring me, aren't you. don't think i don't notice.	how did you get your cage to turn around???? oh. you just turned around...ahem. see at first glance, it seemed like your entire cage had turned the opposite way, but now i see you just did. yup.

 

kirk and dick. by shutyourmouthgirl 2-25-03
my name's kirk. what's yours?		you're a dick, you know that.

 

a game. by shutyourmouthgirl 2-25-03
hey! i have an idea! let's play twenty questions. i'll go first. i'm thinking of something with bars on it. stumped so soon? heh heh. you'll never guess this one...here's a clue. it starts with "c."	i'll take your silence to mean you are still stumped. here's a hint. it's on a pole...it's got a green floor. it holds things.....namely, birds. dammit. you got me. you win. it's a bird cage.	dick.

 

psycho killer. by shutyourmouthgirl 2-25-03
zippitty doo dah! zippity ay! my oh my what a wonderful day! YOWZA! nothing can bring this mothertrucking paper clip down! nothing, nada! I LOVE THIS JOB!!	WOO HOO! life is grand and i'm a slam! who wants to get down with Kirk the paper clip! rock and roll forever!!! WOWEEE WOW WOW WOW!	must....go...invent...paperclip..cyanide...

 

getting it on. by shutyourmouthgirl 3-03-03
		did you ever notice that i am totally hovering in mid-air?

 

suffering from frequent bouts of masturbation. by shutyourmouthgirl 3-05-03
it is certainly cold out here. you should have some coffee with me. would you care for a sip, kind sir?	perhaps you'd like some more cream or sugar in it? do you prefer decaf? i can brew a fresh pot. it's no trouble at all. especially for a studly and strapping young paperclip like yourself. mmm.	you have tiny hands.

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