All comics by vassago_offspring

 

JESUS IS TAKING A POLL.
can you see my balls?
ewww
THROUGHTOUT THE WORLD HE TRAVELS WITH HIS SURVEY QUESTIONS
can YOU see my balls?
if i look...may i?
agh
NO
pff...i didnt want to.

 

go girls
lets make asian porn.
yea, asian porn is so cool
haha isnt it
yea...lets make asian porn
yea...its cool
so.
.........
....

 

duh duh duh duh duh duh
ah my tits are sagging
haha thats the least of your worries you worthless bitch, you cunt, you smelly whore, you rabid beast, you...cock sucker...you...elephant
duh duh duh duh
hmm if you dont mind me saying im sensing some hidden anger...
what the fuck im trying to kill someone
duhhhhh....
oh and sorry if you were trying to kill that lady with those saggy tits...
okay...wow is he good...

 

uhhh im gonna have to fine you.
i hate having a lissssp. i hate me. and polisssse.
dont hate yourself son....
why not im just a big...sssstinky....sssson of a sssss damn it i hate ssssssssss
hello?
what in gods name...im gonna have to fine you

 

ha-ha- and then, and then this girl was like...uhh and i was like uhh...and she was like yea because she had these really nice tits.
im gonna bite your head off... your ear
wow there she is
LOOK AT MY TITS LOOK AT MY TITS
i have an erection
really?

 

hehe i have a missing genium...thats why i look like this...hehe
whatever einstien
no...really, im a shark man
yea...sure... and im a rhino-saurus
that doesnt even exhist
whatever einstien

 

...haha I just made a double joke,by saying never mind,I perpetuated towards another joke,that made fun of the non-funniness of the first joke,even though the first joke counts,despite it's un-funny
nature,so it's 2 jokes, hence a double-joke
whatever, you'll never understand. stupid freshmen

 

yea cause emre called the pimp a freshman
oh yea?
yea - then the pimp made....emre take it in the ass...
..then what happened....
oh yea?
YEEEAAA...

 

hey dude
hey
hey
hey man
hey
yo dude

 

im nicholai weeniebug gay
thats nice...freak.
wait...wait...cause im nicholai weeniebug gay
thats great buddy
great....im gonna burn like paper
im gonna eat you

 

I need a beer

 

gee whiz mr stinky butt you smell
yes pablo
can i nibble on your left nipple?
why yes pablo you may
oh...okay, want grapejuice?
no thank you...pablo

 

whats in the box?
there are dead things in this box
like squirells?
gee...whats in the box?
no...
oh my god! them what?
oh thats in the box
hamster scrotum
ohhh can i poke it

 

the ongoing debate.
so youve been pretty horny today?
yea...id even give andy head...
you'd give andy head anyway...for the bike and you'd tape it for me.
no i wouldnt, you always say these things nick i hate you...
sorry.
i hate you.

 

im andy
i know who you are...
shut your face rob...im gonna go sleep on the bench
alright...ill just smoke a joint
rob...go eat anthrax and die
andy you're a fucking retard.

 

hey eva
hi mike...thats beards coming along well
sweet...
yea...your looking sharp...
later...
yea...
so lesbians are pretty cool right?

 

did you ever have the urge to run across a football field in the middle of a match shouting
I NEED PROZAC.
no...
you...young man will not live to see tomorow...
no...i was just gonna say........
AH I HATE YOU LEAVE ME ALONE STOP TALKING TO ME WHO THE HELL ARE YOU IM CRAZY HELP ME IM CRAZY *sucks own*

 

im a pimp...pimpin...
you're not pimp...your a two timing syphilized bastard...
what in gods name?
what in gods name?
is gods name just god?
what in gods name?

 

what really gets you going?
longdongsilver doesnt know shit about clockwork orange or the dialect or how amazing it really is if you take the time to actually READ THE BOOK BECAUSE IT ISNT A MOVIE.well not supposed to be...
oh...
phew..
yea...anything else?
yea...those little pop up porn adverts on the computer...if i wanted to see people pissing in each others mouths i think i would just...look it up...not that i do...sometimes...ever...

 

wow man this gum is soooo good its like addictive...
what gum is it?
i dunno man but its got like nicotine in it or some shit yo...heh
wow...lemme look
wow...nicorette...it does have nicotine in it.
oh ... i guess that explains stuff

 

did you ever notice how everything is so gay?
no...
well...sometimes i think everything is so gay...
like?
nick gay...
oh...gay off.

 

fire fire fire
girl girl girl
damn...

 

i hope i die
thats not actually funny.
its not supposed to be.
oh big suprise im alone.

 

hey
whats up?
hey
hey...whats up?
sorry i didnt hear you the first time
then how did you know i just said it twice?

 

the whole book was damn good and it did make me orgasm...well...kinda...and i thought maybe u would have put a book there not a tv screen if you read it...
well...your fucking homo.
i am homo
......
yea...thats right. i take it in the ass.
.....sick......

 

and it was when i told them that the whole world dissapoints and bores me that they sent me here
uh huh, and does your insurance cover this or will you be paying in good old cold hard cash?
uhm, id say your gay
hmm, and everything seems boring? this is a toughy...
uh, yea
heres some drugs, go o-d.

 

hey can you....
nah...no i really, i just
cause ive got this...
no cause i really just dont think...
wait...my crotch
im not listening...

 

hey
heh...hey whats up
what are you doing tonight baby?
ew, your a man, and im a goat
cummon, take a walk on the wild side....
ew...just...no...

 

hey
heh...hey whats up
what are you doing tonight baby?
ew, your a man, and im a goat
cummon, take a walk on the wild side....
ew...just...no...

 

dave and nick try some MAGIC from JukeBox out of a BONG
wow dude
yea
YEEAAAA....
pff
wow dude this weed is like, BLASPHEMOUS
yeah shit it totally is, we are like in hell

 

learn some english
so, tell me about your unifying theories of life
okay, well i have this one...
learn some english
yea?
i believe that in all truth, everyone is an evil, cunning bastard, trying to get his own back for some deed that was never actually commited...in the first place, and if it was, it wasnt against him..
hey, why dont you learn some english...
wow...is that the only one...cool
pretty deep huh...yea, im still working on my one about vampires, i think it will be the same, but about, vampires...

 

uh
8===D ( . Y . ) yois
hey
meats gay
hey
just say no
if your vegan, which is also gay...
8====D
cool..

 

you know that story about that troll who lives under that bridge?
what?
you know, the one who like, eats the goats who like, trot across it and shit, i think he like decapitates the baby one or something...
what the fuck, oh yea,...yeah i think i remember...from when i was younger
dude, thats a cool story...
.... .... ......... oh..... .....

 

haha you know that story with the troll and the goat?
...what
hahahahah, yea i know
...
HAH...

 

uh, yea
did you know you can derive opium from camel milk?
how ?
first you take it and evaporate it in a pot, den distill the residue, den freeze it den distill it again, wrap it in tin foil and den freeze it and transpriate it, den u get a black goop, thats opium
...
hah, so why would you ever do this?
yea, but of course the camel has to have eaten it first...
..

 

im the ball sac fairy!!!
uh thats sick
WHAA! LOOK AT ME IM THE BALL SAC FAIRY
...
BALLS BALLS AND SACS! BALL SACS!!! FAIRYS!!
...

 

so...wanna fuck?
you gotta a killer heinie
uh...i have aids

 

in the car of the dealer we make many deals... and then you realize what he does with all his money that he take from you. so there
can i have 3 grams of coke?
...100 euros
...
...nice stereo...

 

k this is at the psychiatrist
whats bothering you then? *types*
well, a lot of things, one thing is this guy, he keeps paying me, and i need the money to support my drug habit, but i feel so abused.
i see...*types*
...
huney get youw ass outta dare
and whats your current rate?...*looks around*
...

Showing page 1.