All comics by wazzdakka

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by wazzdakka
1-10-02
See the goat.
The goat is cool.
What?
The goat wants to know why you are staring at it.
Am I supposed to do something? I'm a friggin' goat.

 

by wazzdakka
1-10-02
The goat is getting confused.
Why are you still here?
The goat is angry.
Ok, I'm leaving.
Stay tuned for more epic installments of... See the Goat!
Maybe I'll go eat a can.

 

by wazzdakka
1-10-02
The goat returns!
I wonder if that wierd dude is gone yet...
Right...
Soon to come... See the Goat: Episode 3!
I'm not sure what's worse... that you're watching a goat, or that you're entertained enough by it to continue.

 

by wazzdakka
1-10-02
The goat is joined by another goat!
Hi.
Hey dude. Who's that guy staring at us?
How should I know? I'm a goat.
Good point.
Part Five, coming soon! Same Goat time, same Goat channel!
Hmmm.... you seem to have been magically transformed into a chicken or something.
Is that a good thing?

 

by wazzdakka
1-10-02
Part 5 of the epic classic, See the Goat!
Hey goat-chicken-thing, I got a question.
Shoot.
Why are we suddenly in Hell?
Umm....
Part 6 is on it's way...
?
?

 

by wazzdakka
1-10-02
Welcome back to See the Goat...
Oh. Well that's better.
Yeah, I didn't like it down there.
Um.... dude?
What?
Round 7 is en route as we speak...
Nothing. Hehehe...
What? Is there something in my hair?

 

by wazzdakka
1-10-02
Welcome back, See the Goat fans :)
Hey look he's still here. Staring at us.
Wow. You are pretty messed up.
What? It's true!
Patience, part 8 is coming...
Yeah, I'm sure it has real meaning, coming from a paperclip.
Sure, kick me when I'm down...

 

by wazzdakka
1-10-02
Welcome to the 8th installment of See the Goat!
Hey... what the...? Where'd you go?
Help!
Whoa!
He belongs to me now... BWUAHAHAHAHA!!!
Can the Goat rescue his friend from the clutches of Death? Find out in Part 9!
Ok, I'm coming I'm coming... (god I'm gonna regret this)
Help me dammit! It's dark in here! And there's bugs! BUGS I TELL YOU!

 

by wazzdakka
1-10-02
We'll just assume that the Goat somehow found his way into the Realm of Death...
Oooo.... well THIS isn't something you see everyday...
Now I wonder where I can find Clippy...
Meanwhile, further down the road...
So who are you? And why do you have that big pointy thing? Ew! BUGS!
Argh! Will you shut up about the bugs!

 

by wazzdakka
1-10-02
Part 10 of See the Goat...
Ah! More bugs! Hey can we turn down the heat?
Yes there's supposed to be bugs, and no we can't turn down the heat!
Are you sure? I mean, just a little! Hey do you have any snacks around here?
No! We CANNOT Turn down the heat, we CANNOT take away the bugs, and we DO NOT have snacks! This is supposed to be eternal damnation!
11 on it's way (and if you're still here, you must really love this cartoon)
Oh. Well do you get TV?
Yes, surprisingly. But not HBO, that costs extra.

 

by wazzdakka
1-10-02
Welcome to part 11...
Dude! I found you! Let's go!
What?
You told me to rescue you!
You kidding? They get TV down here! I can watch if forever and never pay for it!
Yeah yeah, 12 is coming...
You're actually a goat. You don't watch TV.
Oh yeah... damn... well, at least I don't look like a paperclip anymore...

 

by wazzdakka
1-20-02
Back, by popular request (sorry about the delay)
Well here we are again...
Yup.
Hey that guy is still there.
Damn voyeuristic psycho...
Hang on already, I'll get 13 rolling...
Aw man, not again...
What?

 

by wazzdakka
1-20-02
STG - Episode XIII
So, why exactly do you keep changing shapes at random?
I'm not really sure... doesn't happen every day... hey let's ask the voyueristic psycho!
I think he's talking to you , dude.
Oh hey! Stop! This one is cool!
Oh let's go ahead and make number 14 shall we?
You look like a cross between a bat, a pig, a weiner dog, and a whole lot of red food coloring.
What? No! I'm terrifying! FEAR ME!!! BWUAHAHAHA!!!

 

by wazzdakka
1-20-02
STG #14
Oh no. A big scary thing. No. Take it away. Whatever shall I do.
HAHAHA!! Yes! Cower in terror puny mortal! For I shall destroy you with a whim! A WHIM I TELL YOU!
With the merest insult, I shall CONSUME YOUR SOUL!!!
Yeah yeah yeah, I'm on it before thegnome and Notorious hunt me down and make me :)
Right...
Why aren't you stricken with awe and fear? I'm a big scary... awww, dammit! I'm a COCKROACH!

 

by wazzdakka
1-21-02
STG #15 - For your enjoyment :)
You wonder if we should be doing something?
We're goats. We don't do a whole lot.
Speak for yourself.
Oh yeah... I forgot...
*insert comment from 14*
It ain't that bad. Hey, no bad hair days!
BUT I'M A ROACH!

 

by wazzdakka
1-21-02
See the Goat - Part 16
Yup.
Yup.
See what happens when I get bored? Part 17 on it's way.
Yup.

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
Ok, there were some problems with my account, so this is sort of a "test strip".
We're in a "test strip"?
I feel like a guinea pig!
That's odd, you look like a cockroach.
Quiet, dumbass.
But it's so easy!
Hey, we're not all lucky enough to NOT magically become a bug, so shove it.

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG is back online!
Yay.
Excellent!
All you whiners about my lack of new ones can now shut up! :)
He's talking to YOU, Notorious.
You just couldn't leave him alone, could you. So what were we doing, anyway?
STG #18 on it's way...
Umm...
Well, a lot happened in that 7 month gap.

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG #18 - Ah, the memories...
See, what these fine people don't know is that we actually did many cool things.
It's just that the cartoons wouldn't save. Let's see, I changed shape a few more times, and at one point, caught fire.
Yeah, that was pretty funny. Let's see...
Oh yeah! We celebrated Independance Day, and accidently blew up Taiwan in the process!
STG #19 is underway...
Um, there's a reasonable explanation behind that one.
Kids, NEVER try to "improve" your fireworks. It always ends with explosions and sympathy cards from Hallmark.

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG #19 - The stories continue...
I seem to remember you being busted for possession at one point...
Let's just leave that as it is.
Wow, touchy...
I'm pretty sure it wasn't ME who... who... erm...
Resistance is futile. I am perfection in goat form.
Your name is "Toothgnip."

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
See the Goat #20
What's your name again, anyway?
Technically, it's "bug 1-2", but my friends call me Gary.
Yeah, you look like a Gary.
A cockroach looks like a Gary? There could be Garys reading this panel.
*Toothgnip the Goat's opinion does not necessarily represent that of the strip creator.
So? It's not my fault they can't handle the truth.*
No comment.

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
See the Goat #21
Aaaa!!!! What happened!!
Power outage.
We're outside!
Well the sun doesn't run on NOTHING, smartass.
What's happened to the goats? Tune in next week for more See the Goat!
AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 22
AAAAA!!!!
AAAAA!!!!
Bet THAT one confused the hell out of you.

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 23
Hey, I remember this place!
Yeah, this place has free TV! The owner is a real prick though.
Oh, and... hehehehe...
Aaaaahh!!! Bugs! Ah, get them off me!!
Oh, the irony.
Shut up and help me, I can't reach my back!

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG #24
Hahaha!!! Fear me, of I shall destroy you, you worm!!
Yup. Whatever.
Oh, you again. And where's your buggy little friend?
You're standing on him.
Oops. Yeah, that tends to happen.

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 25
Sorry, didn't see you there.
Happens all the time when you're a cockroach.
I don't suppose you could just keep him here?
Nah, too irritating.
What the hell are you doing?
I'm using my Jedi mind trick on you. *You will give the roach a cookie. You will give the roach several cookies.*

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 26
Stop it!
Wanna hear a joke?
No!
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Ok, I'm leaving...
Nacho cheese! Get it? Haha!

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 27
It's amazing, isn't it.
I didn't know it was possible to know someone so annoying.
Come on, let's go.
I'll just leave him for now.
But he's NOT STAYING.
Get it! NACHO!! HAHAHAHA!! I love that one... hehe...

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 28
Well, here we are again.
Doing what we do best.
Dear god, we're worse than Seinfeld.
Now, let's not say things we can't take back.

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 29
Now I got a question...
Shoot.
Why is it that I'm a goat, and you're a cockroach, yet you're as big as I am?
Ahh....
I'm from New York.

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 30 - A milestone of sorts.
Whoa. Number 30.
30 strips of people watching us do pretty much nothing.
90 panels of a goat, a bug, and the Devil.
Hey, I was a goat once.
And a chicken.
*shudder* Now that's something to leave in the past.

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 31
Know what I love about being in a comic strip?
What's that?
The weather. It never changes.
Well, we know who to thank for that!
Our lazy author, who doesn't want to search down the background menu?
I do nothing, and I get turned into a cockroach. He insults the author, and remains a goat. Favoritism! Police!

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 32
BEEEEEEEEEEP...
BEEEEEEEEEEP...
BEEEEEEEEEEP...
BEEEEEEEEEEP...
Thank you. :)
This has been a test of the emergency broadcast system.
Had this been a real emergency, Toothgnip would be on fire and I'd be cowering in the fetal position.

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 33
Now this really sucks.
I know.
You know?
Yeah. I mean, we're just sitting here, wasting our lives away, having meaningless conversations and adventures, when we should be out doing things, seeing stuff, living our LIVES! While we're YOUNG!
No, I mean, I'm sitting on an anthill.
Oh. That DOES suck.

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 34
You know what?
What?
I don't know.
I was asking a question.
Then why the fuck did you say, You know what???

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 35
Yup.
Yup.
Yup.
Meow.
Huh?
Did I win?

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 36
Oh my god.
Don't tell me...
Yup. He did.
Again?
The author forgot which installment it was again. He went from 34 to 36.
Damn you wazzdakka, you handsome devil.

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 37
I think we should form a band.
A band.
We're a goat and a bug. We have no talent. We have no instruments. We cannot sing. No one respects us in the least. We are scum.
Well, we'd be a boy band.
Oh, so that's ok.

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 38
Seriously, it'd give us something to do, plus we'd be millionaires by doing practically nothing.
Hmm... I could go for some easy, lazy money.
We need a name though.
Oh yeah... damn.
Wait! We're a boy band! We'll just rip off a name from someone else!
N*Goat!

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 39
Ok, N*Goat needs something to sing to make money.
True, true... well here, let's just take a random collection of words, throw in random music, and attach an irrelevant title!
We'd be just like a real boy band...
Damn right. If we're going to do something, let's go and do it right.
Actually, we don't care about that. We just want to make easy money.
Oh yeah. Let's be lazy.

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 40
You got our random collection of words?
Yup. Got it right here.
Cola, scissors, head, calculator, finger, iguana, button, inch, garden, Seattle, sign, calendar, house, Microsoft, royal, one, syrup, dragon, tape, broken, minty, was, Jay Leno.
Microsoft?
Want me to avoid the bad language?

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 41
All right, I think N*Goat is ready to roll.
Good, because we're supposed to be off performing tonight. It's our first time.
We should probably... you know... practice or something. If not, we'll sound like shit.
You honestly think practice will help us avoid that?
Damn. Good point. Let's go get drunk and spend money instead of improving our music.
That's the boyband attitude!

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 42
Well, here we are.
Yup. N*Goat is gonna rock the house.
Oh yes, we are good.
Damn right.
So should we go in now? It's dark out here.
Do we have to? Are we ready? Am I dressed right? Oh god, I need Mousse before I go out there...

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
And now, let's here it for... (Bob, does that say... ok, I thought so...) N*Goat!
Oh god.
What do we do!
I'm gonna sing. Follow my lead.
I say we run.

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 44
Um... crap!
I'm gone.
What! You can't leave now!
Watch me!
(crickets chirp in the background)

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 45
Ok, toothgnip... time to show them what N*Goat is made of...

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 46
Get off the stage!
They already did, dumbass.
I knew that...
Dumbass!

 

by wazzdakka
8-06-02
STG 47
Well I think we all learned a valuable lesson.
Yeah... there are MUCH easier ways to make quick money!
Hmm....
Hmmm....
So then he comes flying out of nowhere and smashes into me. I'm suing for whiplash.

 

by wazzdakka
10-06-02
STG 48 - Reunion
Ok, now the N*Goat idea didn't go so hot, but really, your whiplash thing didn't work too well either.
I just ASSUMED that they wouldn't actually investigate. I thought it'd be like TV, they'd just... you know... sign the check
Now, if we actually KNEW a song, I think N*Goat might be able to make it.
All the TV cops are stupid...
Let's see if I can actually make this save this time...
So, thanks to the happy people at portent.net, we have put some things together as sort of a "trial song".
I get it... I was... *sniff* lied to by the TV.. THE TV!!!

 

by wazzdakka
10-06-02
STG 49
Ok, now, we need a lead guy. Sort of the "face" for the band.
True... you want to flip a coin?
You're a cockroach.
You're a goat.
More en route...
The lead guy has to actually sing.
You'd be an excellent "face". Sing on, Toothgnip!

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