"I see you are attempting to install Linux. That would be a mistake."

"I see you are composing a letter.

I think you want help with that.

Right?"

Microsoft meets Unreal Tournament: "It looks like you're fragging a camper!"

"No, I'm *telling* you you want help with that."

"Ignore all", huh? You're just gonna leave all of those syntax errors in that document, huh? Well, motherfucker.... I DON'T THINK SO!

"MS Word, mothafucka!"

I give you all those years of good digital assistance and you throw it all away for that fucking so-cute-i-wanna-puke cat!?!?!?!

Just what do you think you are doing, Dave?

"The question you have to ask yourself is: do you want to go someplace today? Well, do ya, punk?"

Despite complaining to police about threatening letters, there were no suspects when the CEO of Red-Hat was found brutally slain in his office.

You must activate your copy of Windows XP within 45 days. If you do not activate, Clippy G will bust a cap in your ass. Thank you for choosing Microsoft Windows XP!