(says aloud): Look, Mommy -- I don't have to use my hands to make Mr. Weiner feel good anymore.

(thinks to himself): What luck -- I was trying to invent a stupider mode of transportation, but serendipitously created a brand new, hands-free method of making Mr. Weiner feel good.

(imagines girls saying): He is so cool now. Let's have a naked swordfight to see who gets to be Mrs. Weiner.

Then in a moment of sheer epiphany, Gary realized that it really IS hip to be square!

Looks like the Product Development executives spent last night snorting their way to some new ideas again...

Thanks to great men like Walter Shleet, if the earth is ever covered with speed bumps, we'll be ready.

Do you ever look at the corrugated roofs of the assorted factories in your town and wonder " Will man ever be able to ride around on those roofs using a modified bicycle?"

Well wonder no more.....

Only with his specially modified "massagenator" could clarence work our the rolls on the back of her neck, and complete the full body massage that he had promised Oprah.

Sometimes Clark Kent would be riding his bike, and then ZAP -- he knew that pesky imp Mr. Mxyzptlk was back in town.

Jim was almost ready for the two-wheeled version.

Mr. Trickx proves once and for all that there's no end to human stupidity

John's first mistake was designing his bike based on Atari 2600 graphics...

The advertising for bluesquare.com got off to a bad start.

Picture taken moments before the inventor was hit by an SUV with square wheels.

Actually that pic is like that matrix ping-pong vid that did the rounds. If you look closely at the ass of the bike you can see two men dressed in background-matching clothes background holding the bicycle upright. And one of 'em is JFK!