"A little to the left...no the other left! Litte more...just a bit...that's it! Ahhh...I thought I was never going to get that damned itch scratched!"

Despite announcing earlier that the Pentagon inadvertently "destroyed" Bush's military records, officials admit they had been shoved up Rumsfeld's ass all along.

Afterwards, the prostitute went home and shot himself. God be with you, brave patriot!

You know, what really creeps me out about this picture is the expression on his face...

"Taking one for the home team" just isn't what it used to be.

After the third sudden buttfucking of the day, Rumsfeld was beginning to suspect that someone had spiked his aftershave with the wrong pheremones again.

"Yes, I'm aware of the man immediately behind me, fucking me up the ass. Thank you. Now, any more questions of is this press conference over?"

Now that is frigging scary.

"Do I think that it's wrong to get fucked in the ass by a man? Sure! Will I stop getting fucked in the ass by a man? No, this is America!"