Forum archives » Fights Go Here » Jews For Jihad

possums
October 24, 2004 12:04 AM

For a while now I've noticed these arrogant "Jews for Jesus" pricks that are really starting to piss me off. You're not Jewish. Go home. Stop trying to be evangelical (a major no-no in Judaism). You're not Jewish, you're not Christian, you're a cunt.

That's why I'm starting Jews for Jihad. We're going around crapping on the signs of Jews for Jesus guys. It's great. Yeah.

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dcomposed
October 24, 2004 12:11 AM

Can I start Christians for Jews for Jihad where we help?

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possums
October 24, 2004 12:15 AM

Works for me. But to be a pure Jew for Jihad you must be either Muslim or Jewish. Mixes get extra points, because that means that their parents had fuckin' NADS. Preferably on the father's side.

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M3t4
October 24, 2004 12:15 AM

The "Buhdist for Bacon" are pretty dam annoying to. Goddam meat eating vegetarians.

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possums
October 24, 2004 12:17 AM

Let's not forget Jewbuus and Hinjews. Ninjews are cool, though, what with their Jewjitsu.

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Inflatable_Man
October 24, 2004 12:22 AM

What I don't get about these Jews for Jesus, is that the whole point of being a Jew is you don't believe Jesus was the son of God. So isn't a 'Jew for Jesus' just a fancy way of saying Christian?

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possums
October 24, 2004 12:28 AM

It's a fancy way of saying you're a converted Christian who had a small piece of his wang cut off in a ceremony when he was eight days old.

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MikeyG
October 24, 2004 10:06 AM

I was never Jewish, and they cut my wang when I was a babbie. Bastards!

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biped
October 24, 2004 11:06 AM

Strapping down newborn boys and carving off chunks of their sex organs without an anesthetic is a pretty widespread practice, so I don't know why so many people still think only Jews do it.

I don't think Jews For Jesus are hurting anybody. They should be able to be for whoever they want to be for, including Burt Reynolds.

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Enderandrew
October 24, 2004 9:59 PM

I've noticed that very little is taboo here, save for racism. People don't like racists.

Yet you feel it is perfectly acceptable to shit all over someone's religion.

You say it takes NADS for a Muslin to marry a Jew, but it doesn't take NADS to seriously question your faith and go out on a limb?

Messiahanic Jews (or Jews for Jesus) are not the same as Protestants. Protestants have no clue what the Old Testament is. They don't care for sacrament, history, ceremony, or 85% of what the Bible has to say.

I've attended a sader ceremony run by some Messiahanic Jews. While many religions seem founded on galactic levels of stupidity, I have a lot of respect for Messiahanic Jews. They risk ridicule, and losing their place in society for following what their heart tells them.

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biped
October 24, 2004 10:17 PM

quote:
Protestants have no clue what the Old Testament is. They don't care for sacrament, history, ceremony, or 85% of what the Bible has to say.


I'm not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work, there, Lou.

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possums
October 25, 2004 11:57 AM

quote:
I've noticed that very little is taboo here, save for racism. People don't like racists.

Yet you feel it is perfectly acceptable to shit all over someone's religion.

You say it takes NADS for a Muslin to marry a Jew, but it doesn't take NADS to seriously question your faith and go out on a limb?

Messiahanic Jews (or Jews for Jesus) are not the same as Protestants. Protestants have no clue what the Old Testament is. They don't care for sacrament, history, ceremony, or 85% of what the Bible has to say.

I've attended a sader ceremony run by some Messiahanic Jews. While many religions seem founded on galactic levels of stupidity, I have a lot of respect for Messiahanic Jews. They risk ridicule, and losing their place in society for following what their heart tells them.



You misspelled 'Messianic.'

What I'm talking about when I say "Jews for Jesus" are the assholes going around pretending to be Jewish. Messianic Jews are fine because they know what they're talking about.Jews for Jesus, like the guys on the streets with the signs happen to NOT know jack shit about the Old Testament when I ask them. I don't know what their problem is.

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UnknownEric
October 25, 2004 1:25 PM

quote:
While many religions seem founded on galactic levels of stupidity
You seem to have mispelled "all."

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Enderandrew
October 25, 2004 7:01 PM

quote:
You misspelled 'Messianic.'

Thanks. That bugged me because I typed the post it occured to me that I had no clue how to correctly spell the word, and I think spelling is important.

quote:
What I'm talking about when I say "Jews for Jesus" are the assholes going around pretending to be Jewish. Messianic Jews are fine because they know what they're talking about.Jews for Jesus, like the guys on the streets with the signs happen to NOT know jack shit about the Old Testament when I ask them. I don't know what their problem is.

I've attended church with Messianic Jews. They are often referred to by others as "Jews for Jesus". While I largely disdain the actions of most so-called Christians, and many Christian churches, I do find myself somehow placing stock in what the Bible actually says.

If I were to be more serious about religion, I'd have to consider conversion to becoming a Messianic Jew.

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MikeyG
October 26, 2004 5:56 AM

quote:
I've attended church with Messianic Jews. They are often referred to by others as "Jews for Jesus". While I largely disdain the actions of most so-called Christians, and many Christian churches, I do find myself somehow placing stock in what the Bible actually says.

If I were to be more serious about religion, I'd have to consider conversion to becoming a Messianic Jew.



The best way to get serious about religion is to lobby its abolishment. If you want an idea of what spirituality is, try googling the evidence of God in science. There are quite a few actual scientist that believe that God is, in fact, MATH. Which I think I can subscribe to, because math scares the shit out of me.

Anyway, organized religion is stupid and ritualistic. Rituals by very definition are designed to work its way into your mind and become routine. And we all know that routine is something that you do without thinking. So rituals become absolutely meaningless when you do them out of habit, because you no longer actually consider their implications and what it is you are actually doing.

Besides, in the history of MAN, as we can all see very plainly, not a whole hell of a lot of good has come from religion. Humanitarianism under the UMBRELLA of religion, perhaps, but not religion as a whole. The Crusades, Muslim Fundamentalism, the KKK, the Catholic Pedophile fiasco, etc., are all examples of how religious influence breeds hatred and intolerance. If you want to see real spiritual humanitarianism, do some research on the priests of South America, who have been fighting oppression and evil U.S. policies for decades.

Other than that, I say bah to religion.

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jes_lawson
October 26, 2004 6:43 AM

"Jews For Jihad" is like "Turkeys For Thanksgiving"

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biped
October 26, 2004 7:23 AM

quote:
Other than that, I say bah to religion.

So what?

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boorite
October 26, 2004 7:54 AM

Jews for Jesus could make sense. Jesus was, after all, an accomplished rabbi, and his readings of the law were the standard Pharisaical exegeses of the time, and his aims were sympathetic to Rome-occupied Judaea. So I could see a sort of Jewish fan club for a historically-constructed Jesus. Its members, however, could scarcely believe in anything like Christ or in Jesus' divinity.

I don't have any experience with the actual organization Jews for Jesus, but I have little reason to strongly doubt Mr. possums' characterization of it. A religious organization full of people who don't know shit? Sounds like business as usual.

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kaufman
October 26, 2004 10:19 AM

quote:
Jews for Jesus could make sense. Jesus was, after all, an accomplished rabbi, and his readings of the law were the standard Pharisaical exegeses of the time, and his aims were sympathetic to Rome-occupied Judaea. So I could see a sort of Jewish fan club for a historically-constructed Jesus. Its members, however, could scarcely believe in anything like Christ or in Jesus' divinity.
A more accurate name for the existing organization, however, would probably be "Christians for Jewish Observance."

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possums
October 26, 2004 12:09 PM

quote:
A more accurate name for the existing organization, however, would probably be "Christians for Jewish Observance."

Exactly. The name pisses me off more than anything. That's why I think Jews for Jihad is so damn hilarious.

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Enderandrew
October 26, 2004 6:51 PM

Personally, I'm normally not all about smoke and mirrors. But the ceremonies in many religions seem to comfort people with the familiarity it brings.

Jewish traditions seem very steeped in meaningful stories. When partaking in such traditions, it is also the custom to spread and remember those stories. I tend to dig 'em.

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boorite
October 27, 2004 7:16 AM

Consciousness is an emergent property of the quantum foam.

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boorite
October 29, 2004 7:35 AM

Looks like you muthas can't hang wif my quantum foam.

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