Just some comics about 2 blokes in a pub.

http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/NoodleBooth

I can't be bothered to link every one to this board, so you'll have to click the button yourself, you lazy asses (please don't kill me).

You're so dead.

No, I'm just kidding. You're alive. Listen, about these comics. First, lose the narration. All of it. It's unnecessary. Second... well, I don't really think they're very funny. They're not exactly bad, but... they're weak. Partly because some of them are the same jokes that everyone does when they're new here. At least that means you're in good company, though. Keep working at it and eventually you'll run out of the obvious jokes and start writing unique ones. Good luck with that.

The narration is part of the comic cliché kind of thing - without narration, you wouldn't know what was going on.

Narration is not a comic cliché kind of thing. I don't know where the heck you got that notion. And are you telling me that no one can figure out what's going on in this comic:

/comics/not_Scyess/275234/

without reading the narration as you wrote it?

/comics/NoodleBooth/275026/

What's in the narration box that's so key to the joke? Let's take a look, shall we?

Karl and Mike This tells us what the characters names are. That is totally irrelevant to the joke. Giving the reader information that doesn't contribute to the joke distracts him away from said joke, and makes the comic less funny. It also tells the reader that there are two guys... which they can figure out just by looking at the strip.

meet Yes, they are meeting. But since they're in the same panel facing each other and conversing, it's pretty obvious that they're aware of each others' presence. So it's not necessary to tell us that they're meeting.

in a pub. Again, the joke is completely independent of where these two people are having this conversation. Again, too much information. Too much information is even worse when it's in a location where all the extraneous information is together, such as a narration box, because the reader will assume that SOMETHING in that box is necessary or it wouldn't be there. Alas, it isn't.

In summary: what evil_d said.

I'm sorry to disagree, but in my opinion, a corny narration is a comic cliché. Just read Viz magazine and other grown up comics. The comment I made about not being able to tell what is going on is part of that cliché - of course you can tell what's going on without it. It's just my idea of humour.

Interesting. I wonder if that particular style explains why so many people around here use extraneous narration boxes. Learn something new every day.

Are any of the comics you're talking about availble online? I'm curious what they're like...

www.viz.co.uk - although I don't think there are the actual comics online. You could try though.

I've always found that extraneous narration is only funny when what the characters are doing in the scene the narration is describing is blatantly obvious, or blatantly contradictory to the narration. However, that is usually the joke itself.

I fail to see how superfluous narration is funny in the context of these paricular comics.

/comics/evil_d/33311/

It's tricky to pull off a comic where the actual joke is that the apparent joke is bad. Doubly so on Stripcreator and triply so if you're new, because, I mean, look around. Making fun of corny humor is perhaps a little too obscure to be appreciated amidst the wealth of comics that are actually just plain old corny. It's like going to a foreign country and pretending to speak with a really bad accent: who's going to notice?

In any event, NB, even in light of this new information I have to say that I still don't find your early comics amusing. Take heart, though, because I think they started improving after you started this thread. The "bad narration" joke comes through a little more clearly in "Karl and Mike #8", mostly thanks to the word "probably". I think "Man-Man" is my favorite so far -- an old punchline, but a well-done rendition. Actually, it's a concept you might be able to get a few more strips out of. I want to like "Buddhist", but I think I don't really get it. Like I said before, just keep at it.

/comics/NoodleBooth/275154/
/comics/NoodleBooth/275730/
/comics/NoodleBooth/275732/

Oooo, the sticky morass of narration.

Let's just leave it at this: If you're out there writing and DRAWING your own strips, narration boxes can be used in a variety of humorous ways. BUT NOT ON STRIPCREATOR. The narration boxes here really only lend themselves to two or three very specific comedic setups. One that works is mock-action/adventure style (like Flash Gordon or Prince Valiant comics, only of course you're using all this poetic language to build-up not to climactic action but to a fart joke). Narration can work on this site also as a way to imitate voice-over, for example, if you're parodying the assed-up theatrical release of Bladerunner. A third, and less common way, is to use the narrative boxes to layer in the inner thoughts of the character that drives the comic. I have done this because, although in real life when I draw I can have speech and thought bubbles play off of each other and even combat the surface with what is deep inside my fictional world, I can't here. Narration boxes can do the job pretty decently.

The greatest thing about this site is its unelaborateness... uhhh... simplicity. The tight structure here is a magniscope for all things not-funny, and within the limitations you have to sharpen your wits.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go jerk-off to cat-porn.