"Are you an African allergy sufferer? Can't afford western pharmacuticals? Then you need the Nose Snake. One 'painless' pass through each nostril and you'll breath freely all day..."

"Kunte Kente cried tears of joy as he tried on his new birthyday present, the latest fashion in third world piercings"

"..for my next trick I'm going to feltch the Geico Gecko"

Snake-Man had the suckiest power of all the Justice League members.

1. African man suffocates anaconda in crushing grip.

2. Low-budget remake of Aliens.

3. (giggles) 'Your wonderful snake's tickling me down there!' (more giggles)

4. Dental floss gone wild.

5. (Late at night) "Wake up, dear. You're hissing in your sleep again."

That's a long way to go just to play a joke on someone you're going to French kiss.