"But that uncouth heathen said he'd wallop my dustbin!"

"I want to ride it where I like!"

Leeds woman threatens to break her dick off in a motherfucker.

"I hate Fish N' Chips, how do you like that you limey cocksuckers, I HATE FISH N' CHIP!!!!! ... and that fag Beckham too."

"And in stranger new Mrs Eliza Pumpbutters was arrested for riding a bicycle without a seat.."

"Once again Mandy Bottoms had to be restrained after being cut off by a midget on a razor scooter.

The policemens duct-tape harnesses simply enraged her.

"I say, you happen to be arresting me? I simply have no other choice but to resist this act of incarceration you are bestowing upon me, good sir!"

'Tootsies, the reigning Women's Wrestling Champ, snarls at her opponent as her coaches hustle her back to her corner before Round 2.'

"I say, Officer, that cad told me I wasn't very nice."

"The police saves the day, by preventing a terrorist carrying a loaded bike to strike into a lorry"

Police: "Where are you bleeding from, ma'am?"
Cyclist: "I'm from Essex. Where you from?"