Kids love to knock the crap out of Jesus.

Jesus strikes me as more of a hockey player.

Quick, i'll pass him the ball on your check to see if he's got butt lice

"DAMMIT, SON, YOU GET OUT THERE AND TACKLE JESUS! WHO ARE YOU GOING TO LISTEN TO, GOD OR ME?"

Seriously, that one kid looks like he's punching Jesus in the dick.

Jesus is hoping some team will take a flyer on him in the 6th round.

OR

Notre Dame takes the concept of "Touchdown Jesus" a little too far.

OR

How Chiefs fans see Priest Holmes.

After a stimulating round of Dirty Touch-Football Jesus mocked his detractors by saying "Yeah I played pigskin with the kids. so what? Crucify me."

"...but most of all, I'd like to thank Jesus for this win. Without his shitty tackling, our offense would never have scored."

...although intended to symbolize Jesus' aptitude for playing sports, Catholic priests tend to interpret the image in other ways.

He was fast and had a good arm, but his opponents quickly learned that the only play he knew was a Hail Mary.

Remember, kids! Jesus Christ wouldn't use protective sporting gear! Why should you?