Don't go to parties with metal detectors. Sure, it feels safe inside, but what about all those bastards outside with guns? They know you ain't got one.

That's why you sharpen a plastic knife and keep it in your pocket just in case. And make sure to brush up on your Matrix moves, too.

A sharpened plastic knife, or a rubber AK-47 will do the trick.

I always go to parties with metal detectors, most of the time no-one else has bothered to bring one, then we go hunting in the garden for treasure.

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I always go to parties with metal detectors, most of the time no-one else has bothered to bring one, then we go hunting in the garden for treasure.

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Metal detectors are a pain in the ass. Back when I wore thongs, I had a particularly cute one that was black and had two silver metal rings on each side (In the front). I wore said thongs to an amusement park and was mortified when I had to take off my jeans to show the overweight security guard that it was not a weapon, just a fashion statement not meant to be stated to him.

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Metal detectors are a pain in the ass. Back when I wore thongs, I had a particularly cute one that was black and had two silver metal rings on each side (In the front). I wore said thongs to an amusement park and was mortified when I had to take off my jeans to show the overweight security guard that it was not a weapon, just a fashion statement not meant to be stated to him.

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Metal detectors are a pain in the ass. Back when I wore thongs, I had a particularly cute one that was black and had two silver metal rings on each side (In the front). I wore said thongs to an amusement park and was mortified when I had to take off my jeans to show the overweight security guard that it was not a weapon, just a fashion statement not meant to be stated to him.

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As if you're not looking when I walk away.

I dunno. Thongs always kind of grossed me out. As long as it wasn't ass-floss, though, you're probably right.

Possums, have you met my friend AccentuateNegative?

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Possums, have you met my friend AccentuateNegative?

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As if you're not looking when I walk away.

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can you go just one post without calling me a marsupial titburger in one fashion or another?

possums = marsupial titburger

:(

Marsupial titburgers, made from possums.

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can you go just one post without calling me a marsupial titburger in one fashion or another?

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can you go just one post without calling me a marsupial titburger in one fashion or another?

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that depends on whether i'm still allowed to call you hairy clevage patty, marsupial titburger

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